Saturday, September 02, 2006

On the galley again

Hospitals are soul-destroying.
I hate them.
The smell of
Der Geruch nach disinfectant, white smocks wherever you look and most of all patients.
I hate patients.
Depressing.

Depressing as well was yesterday evening. Suddenly it got to my mind that I had nothing at home except for the cold cuts Wilson brought for the rolls. It was too late now for delivery which meant I had to face up to the terror of the mall myself.
Why I'm pissed about that?
Just try to jockey a shopping cart with on hand through a supermarket filled with gruesome music, your cane in the other hand. And then try to pick some things from the shelf.
It took ages, even if I didn't need much. Walking wasn't that good for my leg and as I arrived at home, I had dire pain.
So I threw everything in the kitchen and strechted on the armchair. There he was again, my best friend. The brown glass with my pills.
No, you can't have them. These are mine!

This evening I felt somewhat odd. After Emergency Room I thought of ordering a pizza, but forgot about it when watching Ghost Whisperer.
Eventually, I grabbed my book and finished it. Although it was late, I couldn't sleep and sat down at the piano. I didn't leave it until I was able to play the song from The Piano. But this song made me even more depressive in a funny way.

Finally in bed another wave of pain in my leg overwhelmed me and I poured down my Vicodin with a sip of Scottish Single malt without thinking about it.
Check it out! Cool, huh?
I hugged my second pillow, noticed a weird warmth spreading all over my body and was knocked out soon.
Thus I didn't have much time to ponder if I was just feeling lonely this evening.

But - alas - short was the night! At half past four the telephone ended my slumber.
I picked it up and immediately heard Cuddy on the other side.
"Good moooooooooooooooooorning, Dr.House! How are you feeling today?"
"Hrm...erm...grumble...better...."
"Excellent! Your medical certificate expired yesterday. So you're able to be on duty from 6 AM to 3 PM!"
"...."
"Dr.House?"
"...today? It's saturday!"
"And you're 6 years behind your duty! Besides that you're in need of every bit of goodwill from my side after that speech!"
"Persuaded."
"Good! Dr. Chase is on duty, too!"
"Wonderful..."

This, of course, was an unbelievingly stimulus. In that case, I was ever so happy to get up. Chase, who's telling Vogler where I am, what i do, what I think and so on.
Chase, the little moron nice colleague doing anything for his carreer. Isn't that wonderful? There's a photo of him on the internet:

Sun bursts through, eh?
Good, what should I do? I got out of bed, showered, put my clothes on and got to hospital where he immediately greeted me.
In the end, I shouldn't mind where I'm playing with my gameboy...

In order not to be too bored, I secretly put a glass of applejuice among the urine samples and filled it right before the horror-stricken eyes of my fellow doctors into a squirt gun.
You wouldn't believe just how much panic a hobbling man with cane and loaded squirt gun can arouse. I circled around myself, the squirt gun in my outstretched hand and was aiming at every doctor in the room.
This caused a fine hubbub. I stopped circling when I was aiming at Chase and showed a crazy glance. "Chaaaahaaaase", I said quietly and took a step towards him.
I didn' t know how deranged this ever preppy young man can look, when he's fleeing from me through the corridors. And if you're daft enough to hide in your office, even a hobbling man with cane will catch you for sure...

Slowly I opened the door to his office, aimed at him with the words "Chase - you are dismissed!" and pulled the trigger. For long I won't forget the "Pft Pft Pft" of the squirt gun. Chase shrieked like a girl. I blew over the gun and went to my office.
It didn't take long and Cuddy asked me to come to her office.
"I'm sure I do not have to tell you why you are here?"
"Because of this harmless joke?"
"Joke??? Since WHEN do we call it a joke, to fire at colleagues with urine saples???"
Aaaaaah...I relished this triumph! Chase didn't even notice it was just applejuice.
I took the squirt gun, sprayed right before Cuddy's stunned eyes a ray of juice into my mouth, lolled back into the chair and rolled it for some time in my mouth before swallowing.
"Hm....slightly increased number of leucocytes...I suppose this man should be drinking more..."
Then I stood up and sprayed a little juice into her glass of water when leaving.

Punishment got me in my own office by a ruined keyboard. I've been careless and left my coffee at my computer. Chase took advantage of my being absent and sired almost one spoon full of salt into my coffee. Of course I spat it out lock, stock and barrel - all on the keyboard.
Well, the IT exchanged it already and Dr. Cuddy noticed with a burst of laughter that the ammunition of my squirt gun was applejuice.
Of course she pretends to be unforgiven.

Just the other moment Wilson was here and asked if I would go to the cinema with him to watch "Snakes on a plane". How dull does one have to be to watch such movies? I retorted it would not only cost him the ticket for me, but bribe-money, too.
Cuddy, who came in shook her head. "This is going to be too expensive for poor Dr. Wilson."
"Okay...what about watching some DVDs at my place? I've got the new season of Scrubs", he then suggested.
That man must be lonely since his seperation.
I was well aware of Cuddy still with us and retorted cattily: "Fine! But only if we'll snuggle again!"
He perfectly papered over the slight, emberassed blush and replied as amiable: "Good! But only if you're such an affectionate person as yesterday!"
Briefly I was speechless to be hoisted by my own petard and Cuddy shot quick glances from one to another. Then she lifted her hands and shook her head.
"I just do not want to know what's happening with you both."

Well, I think she knows how this was meant.
After all, she knows us.
About half an hour and I am redeemed. Tomorrow I'm having a day off (it's Sunday!), so we should be able to watch the whole season.

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