How to survive a traffic jam and keep cool
It was the Friday before Memorial Day.
Jim and me had to work on Monday but we spent the weekend at Point Pleasant as he already told you in his blog.
We should have known better.
3 p.m. sharp we left PPTH, I whisteled a tune and was more than happy and contented. The thought of spending a cuddly weekend with my honeybun in our cottage lifted my spirits miles high and we both were in an extremely good mood.
The trunk was already packed with Single Malt, wine, stout, delicacies and our small baggage for the weekend.
As soon as we reached the highway we knew it was a fault to choose this weekend for Point Pleasant.
Wholefucking New Jersey was on their way into a loooooong weekend and we've been stuck in a traffic jam for 3 hours.
3 painful and boring hours surrounded by complete idiots and passing by construction sites with lazy workers sunbathing their bellies.
3 hours with only one Vicodin left in the glass I had in my pocket - the new one was buried somewhere in the trunk.
3 hours unnerving poor Jim, 3 hours trying to bear the pain in my leg and not to yell at the dweeb who blew the horn all the time.
Somewhere down the road I thought my brain would just explode if I'd not distract myself. All over sudden I was as meek as a lamb and was determined to have fun now. People around were odd enough for my purpose and I began to study them.
"Greg?", a worried voice from the drivers seat asked.
I turned my head. "Jim?"
"A...are you okay?"
I blinked. "Yes...Why?"
"You stopped complaining and glaring all over sudden...I thought...well...you might suffer from a migraine now or something."
I smiled at him and leaned back in my seat. "I just decided this is not worth complaining. You know that saying? God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference?"
Jim nodded and sighed at the sight of the solid line of cars. "Of course..."
"Well...", I shrugged, "this is a thing I cannot change, right?"
With a side glance he nodded again. "Spooky....", he mumbled. "A calm House in a traffic jam..."
While studying the fellow traffic jammers around us I scribbled down this list.
How to survive a traffic jam
Recommended by all the loonies around
Blow the horn whenever you get the chance to
Yell at everyone around you and flip them the bird
Listen to an old Manowar CD as loud as your car speakers allow
Bite the steering wheel
Curse incessantly
Glare at everyone who looks into your car as if they were responsible for the traffic jam
Search for old candy underneath your seat and toss it at the workers
Hit the steering wheel, kick the door and freak out totally
Scold your passenger
How to keep up that brilliant mood after your favorite traffic jam
In defiance drive the complete rest of your journey in the bottom gear
Listen to a CD with construction site noise
Keep bad-mouthing your passenger
Don't stop glaring and flipping the bird
Deposit candy underneath your seats for the next road works you'll pass by
Well...at least I was quite relaxed when we escaped the solid line of cars.
Jim and me had to work on Monday but we spent the weekend at Point Pleasant as he already told you in his blog.
We should have known better.
3 p.m. sharp we left PPTH, I whisteled a tune and was more than happy and contented. The thought of spending a cuddly weekend with my honeybun in our cottage lifted my spirits miles high and we both were in an extremely good mood.
The trunk was already packed with Single Malt, wine, stout, delicacies and our small baggage for the weekend.
As soon as we reached the highway we knew it was a fault to choose this weekend for Point Pleasant.
Whole
3 painful and boring hours surrounded by complete idiots and passing by construction sites with lazy workers sunbathing their bellies.
3 hours with only one Vicodin left in the glass I had in my pocket - the new one was buried somewhere in the trunk.
3 hours unnerving poor Jim, 3 hours trying to bear the pain in my leg and not to yell at the dweeb who blew the horn all the time.
Somewhere down the road I thought my brain would just explode if I'd not distract myself. All over sudden I was as meek as a lamb and was determined to have fun now. People around were odd enough for my purpose and I began to study them.
"Greg?", a worried voice from the drivers seat asked.
I turned my head. "Jim?"
"A...are you okay?"
I blinked. "Yes...Why?"
"You stopped complaining and glaring all over sudden...I thought...well...you might suffer from a migraine now or something."
I smiled at him and leaned back in my seat. "I just decided this is not worth complaining. You know that saying? God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference?"
Jim nodded and sighed at the sight of the solid line of cars. "Of course..."
"Well...", I shrugged, "this is a thing I cannot change, right?"
With a side glance he nodded again. "Spooky....", he mumbled. "A calm House in a traffic jam..."
While studying the fellow traffic jammers around us I scribbled down this list.
How to survive a traffic jam
Recommended by all the loonies around
How to keep up that brilliant mood after your favorite traffic jam
Well...at least I was quite relaxed when we escaped the solid line of cars.
posted by Dr. Gregory House at Thursday, May 31, 2007
7 Comments:
Oh you make fun of me somehow - that is not nice ...
But I have to admit - if not standing in a jam ...this list just makes you laugh!
Fun of you, darling?
But no.
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