Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Today I join that life with yours

I still can't believe it.
I am so...I'm lost for words...I don't know how to express how I feel.
Words seem dull, numb and inappropriate.
But..I'll try.

I'm beaming with happiness!
I'm aglow with love,
I'm totally over the moon,
I'm where I belong.

Yes..that...somehow fits. I'm where I belong. Where I always wanted to be and where I always was meant to be.

It feels so aureate, awesome, excellent, brilliant...unearthly celestial...
But...as I told you...words are just not enough.

I was nervous and full of expectation, not quite sure what was awaiting me.
We tried and tried to calm each other down when I looked at the clock and noticed that there was only half an hour left and immidiately exclaimed that.
"Ooooooh my God, it’s only half an hour left 'till your cousin will pick us up!"
"NO!!!???", James cried out, but I just nodded.
I felt my heart beat fast and could feel it thumping in my throat, but I tried to ignore that and limped as fast as I could into the bedroom where I tucked away my tuxedo and was glad I was already showered.
James changed at the bathroom and I could hear him mumble something. I smiled and hurried to put on the tuxedo, fixed the cummerbund and put on my bow-tie. Taking a deep breath to calm me down I checked my hair. "C'mon, Greg, don't be shy, don't be frightened. You'll make it."
My hands trembled a bit and I looked at my reflection in the mirror.
Was that really me? I shook my head. If that tuxedo made me look acceptable, what would it make James look like? I swallowed at that thought and took the black cane I bought for that very special occasion.
"Are you reaaaaadyyyy?", I heard Jim shout.
"In a second!", I replied and took another deep breath. I could feel my heartbeat everywhere and had the impression my heart slopped over.
"I’ll go into the living room … may I?", James asked aloud.
"Fine!", I said and decided that it now was time to emerge from the bedroom.

James was standing there twicking at his tuxedo and cummerbund and first didn't hear me approach. There he was...my...starlight. I can't describe what he looked like. It made me speechless and I only gazed at him.
He looked up and his jaw dropped. For a while we couldn't do anything but staring at each other - then I finally managed to speak.
"Oh my fucking God! You look absolutely fantastic! Beautiful! Terrific!"
James swallowed and shut his mouth. "I can only reply this to you, Greg. You look – WOW!"
Again we stared and grinned.
"You even thought about using a black one!", James exclaimed and pointed at my cane.
I smiled and shrugged. "Well, just for you...just for you."
I had to blink back tears and looked at him when he whispered "But somethings missing.."
GOD, no! I thought. "What?! I..." I began and James approached with a smile that made my heart slop over again. He pinned a rosebud at my collar and kissed my cheek.
"Now it's perfect!"
I soooooo wanted to take him into my arms and kiss him, but somehow I didn't dare. He looked terrific, perfect, unearthly...
"May I kiss you?" I asked him awkwardly and drew him closer. His glance was answer enough so I chose to kiss him softly and full of tenderness. "Oh Lord, am I still on earth?" I asked myself and felt swept over by a shockingly intense wave of love.

A knock at the door brought us back to here and now and James cleared his throat and his eyes glistened.
"I think it is time now", he said and I just nodded. We both went to the door and James opened it for me. "After you, darling!"
I smiled at him shyly and stepped out.
Samuel, Jim's cousin (and rabbi), looked at us openmouthed.
"You both look terrific!", he exclaimed and I shot another foolish smile. James sighed "So...let's go then", and we went to the limousine.

I don't know what all those people thought wo gazed at us, but James looked awesome.
"God, you look so sexy with that cummerbund!", I whispered into his ear and he secretly grinned. "If you want I can wear it just for you this evening…" he whispered and I nodded furiously.
I wanted to cuddle him, to kiss him, to fondle his hair and dared nothing at all. Sam poured champagne and looked at us with a warm smile. "You marry into a great family, Greg!", I said to myself inwardly and we saluted.

When we arrived at the city hall, Eric was already waiting and opened the door of the car for us.
He stared at us and his jaw dropped. "You are a beautiful couple, you know?!"
I felt a bit sheepish and surely blushed looking at my shoes and shuffling my cane to the ground.
"God, you are nervous", Eric laughed and patted our shoulders.
"Of course we are!", I said (or grunted?) and James took my hand and caressed it.
"Shall we?"
God...his eyes...his smile...his beam...
I only nodded and we proceeded to the room where we already were expected.

We had to deal with some bumf and I felt like a child awaiting Santa Clause - it all took too long! I'm not good at waiting, especially if I really long for something.
Well...before I met James and fell in love with him I actually didn't know what longing was...
Some eras later the door opened and someone asked our names. We nodded and he waved us into the room.
There was Mr. Pollack, the Justice of Peace, and looked at us. He was personable with a black full beard and witty eyes behing round glasses.
Eric and Samuel followed us and we took a seat in front of him.

He began to speak.
"We are here today to witness and to celebrate the marriage of Gregory House and James Evan Wilson. They have invited me to lead their wedding ceremony, and for that, I thank them. We are gathered here in celebration to share the moment when two persons join together in the bonds of love, honor, respect and responsibility -- into the unity that is marriage."

The words sounded like a song and I told myself "No...it's true. You are here and that wonderful man at your side wants to marry you."
And that very man took my hand and made me feel whole.

"Today you declare the love and commitment you have expressed to each other many times before. Today, each of you declares for the whole world to see, that this other person has that special primary place in you life that can only be given to one other. You are not children. We are concerned here with something more beautiful than just romance. You two have decided to make the journey through life together and to help each other make as much of it as two unique individuals can."

James turned his head and looked at me and when our eyes met I felt miles away. We kept that eyecontanct and listened to Mr.Pollack continuing.
"Marriage is more than words or ceremony. It is a commitment to be reaffirmed each and every day. Happiness is the product of contentment that each has the strength to accept in their lives what can not be changed, and the love to change what can not be accepted. You can make your marriage a living thing. It will be you who begin every day making choices -- to express caring or avoiding it; to reveal love or to be too busy; to acknowledge respect and to take joy from one another or build walls -- and through those daily choices, to renew the wedding vows you will make today. It will be you, also who shapes what is possible for each other, allowing each other the space and the privacy to be unique individuals. When you follow the leading of your own personalities and talents, then each of you will have strength upon which both can depend. So it is that you come together, ready to give of yourselves and to accept each other, valuing each other's special gifts, prepared to work and to trust."
He cleared his throat and I heard Eric sob, fighting down my own tears.

"So, having considered alone and together this marriage, I now ask you, are you ready for your vows?", Mr. Pollack asked us.

I nodded and noticed Jim nodded, too. We still held our hands and I squeezed his lightly when he turned to me and began.
He took a deep, deep breath and tried to steady his voice.
"Gregory, our miracle lies in the path we have chosen together. I enter this marriage with you knowing that the true magic of love is not to avoid changes, but to navigate them successfully.
Let us commit to the miracle of making each day work - together."
His smile was smashing and finally a tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek.

I tried to speak, closed my eyes, opened them again and looked into his warm brown eyes.
"I used to be afraid of falling in love, of giving my heart away. How could I trust a man to love me, to give to me all that I wanted to give to him?
James, when I met you, I realized how much we could share together. You have renewed my life: Today I join that life with yours."

A tear now was rolling down Jim's cheek and we just gazed at each other and I couldn't take my glance away from him. Somewhere miles away a voice came through. It was Mr. Pollack asking James if he had a ring for me.
Sam patted Jim's shoulder and handed him the box with our rings. He pulled out the one for me and Mr. Pollack told him what to say to me.
James attached the ring to my trembling finger and said "I, James Evan take you Gregory to be my husband, and with this ring, I marry you and join my life to yours."

Samuel handed me the box and I put out Jim's ring. Mr. Pollack turned to me. "Would you put it on his finger and repeat after me: I, Gregory take you James Evan to be my husband, and with this ring, I marry you and join my life to yours."
I looked into James' eyes and spoke to him while attaching the ring to his finger.
"I, Gregory take you James Evan to be my husband, and with this ring, I marry you and join my life to yours."
We still held our hands when Mr. Pollack continued.
"May the love that you feel and share today continue to grow deeper and stronger all the days of your lives. Having declared yourselves to each other among your witnesses, you are now married."

The "witnesses" applauded us while we seemed to be unable to move and just looked into each other's eyes. I was so happy I thought my soul would burst (and I still am and think I'll never ever let that happiness go). Then James bent slightly forward and I drew him closer to kiss him and our lips met in a kiss so full of passion and love I never wanted it to stop and got lost in time and space.

After a while, a year or another stone-age we heard a silent giggle and parted with a blush. We looked at our hands, our rings and then lifted our eyes to each other.

"Married...", we whispered.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Home for a hort while.
So I'm able to be the first to congratulate you!
This is so great!

November 21, 2006  
Blogger Dr. James Wilson said...

*hands you a glass of champagne*

Cheers, pal!

November 21, 2006  
Anonymous Adeline said...

I want to congratulate you.

This makes me so unbelievably happy for you!
It is simply great.

November 22, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the champagne!

November 22, 2006  
Blogger Dr. James Wilson said...

You are always welcome, Bertie!

November 22, 2006  
Blogger Dr. James Wilson said...

For Greg - with all my love!

You give the warmth of life to me,
I'll try to give it back to thee.

Thy eyes are like stars in the night,
making me tremble when they are shining so bright.

Your gentle touch just makes me fly,
I am over the moon and up so high!

I belong to you, you belong to me -
now it is so, it was meant to be!

November 22, 2006  
Blogger Tine-Bine's Abenteuer said...

Das ist sooo schööön!
Wie lange habe ich auf diesen Tag gewartet!

Gratulation!
*Tränen der Rührung weg blinzel*

November 22, 2006  
Blogger Dr. Gregory House said...

Oh my Goooood!
I'm...lost for words again.
Thank you so much, hun...hubby!

And thanks a lot, tine-bine.

November 22, 2006  

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