Thursday, December 14, 2006

Cheering at my speech

Mood: Can't we just go now?
Weather: this morning it was snowing
Listening to: my iPod... Glastonbury Song - The Waterboys


I'm sure, damn sure, this lecturer is no doctor at all but an inhabitant of that loony bin he's coming from. I do my very best but I can't concentrate on his speech and I just sit here and stare into thin air.
It's quite annoying I found out today that Murdock's really staring at me the whole time and I'm tempted just to flip him the bird or stick out my tongue. But no...I won't do that. I'll pretend I don't notice.
Five minutes ago I came back with two coffee for Jim and me and saw him arguing with that dweeb. I frowned and sat down. James handed me back my mobile - I didn't even notice it slipped out of my sportscoat's pocket. "Uh....thanks...."; I mumbled but James concentrated his attention to Murdock again.
"What do you think? Just snatch his mobile? What did you want with it?!"
Dr. Murdock shrugged. "I didn't snatch it. I just saw it on the floor and picked it up."
"And then phoned yourself with it???"
He blushed and shook his head. "No, of course not."
"But it made the impression you did!"
"Hey, I'm sorry! I just found it, really...."
James grunted and leaned back in his chair, Murdock looked at the stage and I listened to my iPod again. God, I have some really nice songs here...it's City lights by William Pitt. Totally laid back and perfect for boring lectures. And what's even better: The captain of her heart by Double. I like the piano parts in it...maybe I'll try it at home. (And I have their Devil's ball, too...HAH!)

But I didn't want to tell you about today now. I wanted to tell you about my speech.
You know Jimmy was pissed because of my cheering, don't you?
That was why I bought him the Yeats book... I wanted to excuse.
But Jimmy would not be Jimmy if he hadn't already formed an idea of revenge in his sick mind.
Yes! His mind is as sick as mine from time to time, but I seem to be the only one who knows that.
The chairman asked me to get on the stage and I went up and headed for the lectern. Behind me I heard a loud yell.
"Go, Greggo, go Greggo, go go go!!!"
I didn't look over my shoulder. I didn't have to. I knew it was Jim. The chairman tried not to giggle and swallowed down his laughter when he shook my hand.
I cleared my throat and turned to the audience. "Yeah...it's Greggo's turn now..." With these words I sent a glare into Jim's direction which told him to better stop this now. The participants giggled - at least they were really awake now.
I started my speech with a story about a guy with Colorado tick fever who showed up at PPTH and became my case. (Colorado Tick Fever is an illness caused by a virus of the Reovirus family carried by small mammals, such as ground squirrels, porcupines, and chipmunks, and by ticks.)
I was interrupted by a "WHOOOOHOOOOO!!!!" and looked at Jim with the corners of my mouth twitching.
I continued as if nothing ever happened with Marburg virus which was disturbed by Jim swaying a rattle. YES! A rattle!!! The giggling started again and I took a deep breath.
There was a sweating doctor in the audience who looked not that good and I asked him to come up to me. First he hesitated but soon the whole audience cheered at him as if I was some magician who wanted to show a trick. And this was Jim's fault!
I asked him if he drank untreated milk but he answered in the negative. A friend of his was a vet and he accompanied him to treat cattle. Great! This was my chance for a live diagnosis, just as I wanted.
So I took the opportunity and diagnosed Brucellosis which made the audience gasp and me smirk. But, alas, I didn't smirk for long 'cause a stuffed pink rabbit (the kind they have at pediatrics to give to sick children) hit my brow. "YOU RULE, Greg! Whooohoooooo!!!! I want a child from you!!!"
I put my fists in my pockets and tried hard not to laugh. He totally destroyed my speech, I think, but it won't be forgotten by anyone. After the laughter ebbed away I closed my speech with a lecture on Enterobiasis with as much dignity as I could gather.
Okay....the applause was frenetic...but I'm not sure if it was because of what I said or what had happened.
I went back to my seat, Dr. Murdock beamed at me and James was swaying that rattle again. "You!", I bent down to him. "Yoooouuuu!TEASE!!!"

14 Comments:

Anonymous Laughing my ass off said...

Hand me a tissue please!

They might think I am crying because of that speech.

Mwahaha ...

I - excuse I have to go outta here.

December 14, 2006  
Blogger Dr. Gregory House said...

See you in a minute....

December 14, 2006  
Anonymous Pink rabbit said...

I know you liked it.

And you liked the excuse - I am sure!

December 14, 2006  
Blogger Dr. Gregory House said...

Maybe you want to excuse again right now?

December 14, 2006  
Anonymous Teddybear eyes said...

Here or somewhere else?

Do you need another excuse from me?

Did you notice I am in a funny mood today?

December 14, 2006  
Blogger Dr. Gregory House said...

I notice.
And I need another excuse.

December 14, 2006  
Anonymous Mr. Excuse said...

You'll get it!

December 14, 2006  
Blogger Dr. Edward J. Marks said...

Wilson! Hahaha that was...that was I have to think the best thing you've ever done to him.

December 14, 2006  
Blogger Dr. Gregory House said...

You think so, Ed, hmmmm????

December 14, 2006  
Anonymous Wilson said...

Oh, I can do other good things as well.

e.g. pancakes ...

December 14, 2006  
Blogger Dr. Gregory House said...

Your pancakes are some of these things straight from heaven!

December 14, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nohohohohoooo.
I'm still laughing.
Geez!

December 14, 2006  
Anonymous pink rabbit said...

And the flight was gorgeous!

Wooooooooohooooooooo - only destroy be the unsoft landing.

December 14, 2006  
Blogger Dr. Gregory House said...

That wasn't my fault.
I didn't expect you.

December 15, 2006  

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