Friday, February 09, 2007

Spreading panic

Mood: just brilliant - I made someone else's day really rotten
Weather: cooooooold
Drinking: coffee
Eating: Amy's cookies


Ah!
It's Friday!
Off duty for the weekend!
Foreman does my clinic duty today!
My cheeks hurt 'cause I am grinning for hours now.

Most people are scared of me today. That's no news to you, I know, but today they are really scared 'cause I can't stop grinning.
This is such an unfamiliar sight they know I'm up to no good.
Well, I was.

When I woke up I was grumpy because of the additional hours of clinic duty Cuddy imposed on me for today. She insists I'm years behind and this has to stop now.
So I was bound and determined to ruin someone else's day to lift up my mood. I was thinking during breakfast, barely noticing the worried sideglances Jim gave me.
"You're up to something", he stated.
"Am I?", I asked with a most innocent look on my face.
He narrowed his eyes. "You've been awfully grumpy this morning and now you're thinking. You're up to some mischief, I'm sure."
I just shrugged and finished my scrambled eggs.
"Something's rotten in the state of Denmark", Jim sighed and decided to leave me alone then.

An evil smile came to my face when I finally knew what I was going to do today.
Jim looked at me and flinched. "You do carry something in your head! Don't take me for an idiot."
I pouted. "Oh...I don't....I didn't say no, did I?"
He rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "No...you did not...I hope I won't be involved."
I shook my head. "Nope..."
Jim sighed for the second time this morning and cleared the table. "So let's go then. We're already late."
I arose and put our mugs in the sink. "We're awfully early!"
"That's just your opinion."
Mercylessly he handed my coat to me and off we were.
I was smiling with pleasant anticipation during the drive which bugged Jim even more, but kept silent.

Before he entered his office he turned to me and raised his hands. "I just don't want to know, okay? Just promise me I won't be involved."
"I promise", I smiled my agreement and limped to my office whisteling a little tune.
When I came in the first thing I noticed was the steaming double espresso on my desk.
I wrinkled my brow and slammed my bagpack to the floor. What was that? I hung my coat and sat down.
That was the moment I spotted the post-it that stuck on the espresso. It read Target terminated. Hasta la vista, baby!
"Huh?", I thought and stared at it. When I took it I noticed there was something written on it's backside: Non rimandare a domani quello che puoi fare oggi! (Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today!)
"Mhmmmmmm!", I now grinned. Arnello, for sure. The day started not as rotten as I first thought.
I downed the espresso and leafed through the new file on my desk when Foreman came in.
"Morning, House!"
"Yo, Foreman!", I smirked and raised a hand.
"Uh-oh...you're in a good mood. You're up to no good!"
"I'm just happy Terminator did his job..."
"What?"
I handed him the note. "Just read yourself..."
Foreman went pale if that was possible and scratched his head. "Um...well...okaaaaay..."
"One carking care less, eh?", I smiled.
"Yah, seems so..."
I pivoted with my chair. "Whoooosh! Thank God it's Friday!"
"House..."
"Foreman?"
"There's something else you have in your sick mind. I'm profoundly convinced."
"Yepp!"
"Will you tell me?"
I shrugged. "If you won't spoil it?"
He crossed his heart. "I won't."
"Okay then", I agreed and told him.

His eyes grew wide. "Oh noooo...you....this...you're joking!"
"I'm not. I thought this would be a nice idea."
"Nice!"
"Good."
"I bet you won't do that. You won't carry that out."
"If I do, will you do my clinic duty today?"
Foreman nodded. "Yes. I know you won't do that."

I so did! Foreman lost his bet and does my clinic duty now. And I?
I'm at peace with the world and myself.
I love today.

Now you are nosy, right? Want to know what I did, right?
Okay...I'll tell you. It's over now and you can't try to convince me not to do it.

It just came to my mind that Danby didn't get any "welcome-prank" when he took up employment here. Marks was greeted with that special wine, but when Danby came I was too busy to think of something like that. So I made up leeway now.
I knew he had clinic duty today - beginning at 2 pm, exam room 4.
So I pretended to be too busy for a lunchbreak, sneaked out and went to the butcher around the corner. Foreman told me I could buy pigblood there - and that was what I did. A large amount of pigblood. The butcher seemed a bit puzzled though...
Secretly I poured out the whole mess in exam room 4.
Highly satisfied I saw the blood springing up beneath the door at 1:50 pm.
Now I just had to wait.

I hid a few steps away from the room, peeping round the corner from time to time. By now the blood caused a mild panic to the doctors who passed by and when I saw Danby approach I limped up to him and put on a worried expression.
"Danby! God! This is...oh NO!"
"Hum?", he asked and gave me a puzzled look.
I pointed at the door to exam room 4. "It's Ebola!", I exclaimed and noticed his eyes widen. I grabbed his collar and shook him. "For Christ's sake, get your hazmat suit!!! NOW!"
And I limped away as fast as I could.
Danby seemed to be paralyzed for some seconds, but then followed me and ran. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!"
The whole incident spread blind panic and after a short while everything was up in arms.
One poor guy with a broken arm slipped out on the blood and broke the other arm, too. (And I hope he won't sue me.)

During the whole brouhaha I sat in my office laughing in my sleeve.
Okay, Cuddy gave me a good hiding and I had to pay for the cleaning squad - but it was worth it.

3 Comments:

Blogger Dr. James Wilson said...

I heard that up to 2nd floor ... EBOOOOLAAA

Oh boy - I knew you were up to something.

February 09, 2007  
Blogger Dr. Gregory House said...

I hope you were not too scared.

February 12, 2007  
Blogger Dr. James Wilson said...

I wasn't - I waited for something the whole time.

I knew you were up to something.

February 12, 2007  

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