Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Being there for you

Mood: relieved
Listening to: I Will Be With You - T'Pau
Drinking: Coffee

Such a beautiful song...
I will be with you
You're here in my heart
But if you never come back again
We'll never be far apart
I miss you so much
Wherever you are
But if you never come back again
We'll never be far apart.

I'm so glad I finally found him.
I'm so happy he's here now.
We didn't talk much so far, but he also didn't send me home so far.
And I hope he won't do that.

I awoke because of the scent of freshly brewed coffee and it took me a few minutes to realize where I was. I shifted in bed, stretched and rubbed my eyes.
A look outside the window told me it was still snowing and there was still daylight. I couldn't have slept for long.
There was quiet music and the smell of coffee and my heart missed a beat.
He was back.
I crept out of bed and silently approached the living room door. There he was...sitting on the sofa and watching the fire. Just as I did some hours ago.
My mind somehow switched off and I didn't think of pouring us coffee or saying hello or anything.
I just sneaked to the sofa, nestled beside him and held him close.

"You found me", he whispered and his lips found mine to kiss me with such tenderness it brought me to tears. Once again all my walls crumbled and I just sat there, kissed him, held him and at the same time sobbed my soul out.
I tried to fight that down, he was already feeling miserable enough, but I couldn't help it.
It was cosy and warm at the fireplace, he smelled of Fahrenheit, new clothes, coffee, the fire and James and I surely was deranged in my flannel-pajama with cascades of tears running down my cheeks. I couldn't stop cuddling and kissing him and just managed to whisper "I missed you so much. I love you, Jim."
My heart was pounding against my chest and I felt such a longing for him and a love so great I thought it would break my heart into myriads of pieces. It was like a tsunami crashing upon me and I nearly drowned in his eyes.
He snuggled at my chest, fondled my hair and covered my face with kisses.
"I love you, Greg."
That was all that counted.
We could talk later about what caused him to hide here.

I am there for him and I will do everything I can to help him cope with these things in his past. I'll give him everything he needs.


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