I feel shitty

Mood: queasy
Weather: rainy and dark again
Music: Soundtrack of Oscar Wilde

Everything I try to eat is nauseating.
I feel sick and shitty.

All began so wunderful yesterday and I spoilt the day by being foolish.
Damn!
I'll never ever do that again.

After James signed the papers we got up and went to the lawyer - and had a test run with that Triumph Speedmaster (and I think I should test that Honda, too...) which was really fun.
Yes, I think I should get a bike.

Mr. Lowell, Julie's lawyer, is a true dumbass: unappealing and ugly. Furthermore he was up to asking stupid questions. "Looks like you, as well, have some future plans", he stated eyeing our rings. I couldn't help raising my eyebrow. "If so, it wouldn't be your business", I replied as kind as I could and he shifted in his chair.
James and he shook hands and off we went.
At the motorbike I turned around. "Sorry about that, what about an excuse coffee?"
James grinned. "Sounds good", and we drove out of town. I enjoyed bombing down the motorway and we had a really good time. In the afternoon, I regretted I had to bring back the bike.

Back at my appartment I percolated coffee and James provided for coziness lighting candles and so on. I let myself drop to the sofa and nestled at his side.
"I can't believe it. Two weeks, James..."
James smiled at me full of tenderness and nodded.
I leaned back and sighed. "We really can start...scheming..."
He grinned. "When do you want to get married?"
I shrugged, stood up and made my way to the kitchen pouring us some coffee. "As soon as possible."
"And rush into it?"
Handing him the mug I replied "I wouldn't call that rushing into a marriage when I had so many years to decide."
He smiled. "You have a point there."
I sat down beside him and asked "So...what about some internet research on...that topic?"
James shrugged and leaned back sipping his coffee. "If you want to..."
I blinked. "Of course I want to."
So I started searching for nice places at Point Pleasant (as we agreed to Point Pleasant) and soon noticed he was far, far away with his thoughts. I felt hurt and insecure and looked at him. "Do you regret asking me?"
He shook his head. "Of course not."
I still watched him. (Heck, I'm a handful! Hurt so easily of time.) "Are you sure you don't want to sneak out of the whole thing?"
Jim stared at me. "Damn sure! I love you!"
He stood up and left me alone sitting on the sofa in front of the laptop. I sighed and shut it down, hearing some rumaging in the bedroom.
He came back and I asked "What about just civil registry office? And afterwards a nice restaurant?"
He smiled at me. "Sounds good to me. I'm thinking of that restaurant we've been to..."
I nodded. "Mhmmmm...."
James dropped a small box. "Oops", I said, "you dropped something."

Suddenly he knelt down before me and I looked at him in surprise. "What...?"
He lifted his head, swallowed and looked into my eyes. Then he took my hand.
"Gregory..."
I stared at him and swallowed, too.
He opened the little box and I spotted a plain and beautiful ring.
"Do you want to be my man? Will you marry me?"
I blinked back tears and answered with a fading voice "I will..."
He beamed at me and took our first ring off to attach the new one to my finger. "I thought this one suits the purpose better..."
I bent forward and we kissed softly and inside of me a storm was raging.
A few minutes we just looked each other in the eyes, then I took his hand. "Please...sit down", I began and stood up.
It is creepy how we often seem to think the same...
I limped into the hall and fumbled at my coat pocket, grabbing another small box.
When I came back I knelt down on my good leg and smiled.
"James?"
He just stared at me and now it was his turn to blink back tears. "Mhmmm?"
"I....want to spend the rest of my life with you... And I never want to be without you again. James, will you marry me?"
He nodded and a single tear ran down his cheek. "I...I will..." and I attached the new and very similar ring to his finger.
We kissed again and snuggled on the sofa for almost an hour.
This was the wonderful part of the evening. I felt like in 7th heaven and seemed to levitate. We then decided to phone our parents and tell them which was not that wonderful. Ruth asked me time and again if I was circumsized and wanted to book a banquet hall and all such things.

Somewhere down the road we both signed in to MSN and had a pleasant conversation with Cameron, Foreman and Chase (whooosh, they'll have to tell us something..), laughing our asses off. It was awfully funny and we talked until morning. (Yes, we told them about our wedding plans.)

A few minutes before we went to bed I spoilt the evening....
I found a bag with an injection and mocked Ginger's fear of syringes. Then I examined it. "Is that ketamine?" (I'm used to ketamine and just wanted to joke...)
"Hmmmm", Jim answered and I injected the stuff into my arm.
"ARE YOU INSAAAAAAAANE???", Jim yelled at me and jumped to his feet. "How can you... you idiot, dumbass..."
I looked up. "What? Hey I am feeling good ...why did Allenby faint? I can feel...nuthin..."
James brushed his forehead and eyed me carefully. "That was morphine, not ketamine."
I felt a strange warmth rushing all over me. "Huuuh. Well...feeling a bit warm. Everyssiings abit dissy..." I mumbled.
James took my pulse and decided to bring me to bed.
"Ssooooo butifuuuul you are Dschimmyy...", I smiled at him and he grinned.
The rest can be read in his blog...
Well, I think I suddenly jumped up and ran to bed without my cane, yelling "Iminbedd!"
James was really sweet and patient, cradling me in his arms and smiling at my requests to 'shnugl'.

This morning it was totally different. He was absolutely pissed and angry with me. I tried to pronounce my words properly and angered him even more with my mumbling and my cloudy eyes. As I nestled to him he pushed me away and barked at me "First get a clear mind!"
"Mah mind ish cear..." I stated.
"Your eyes and tongue tell somehing else", he muttered.
"Ahm djust tired..."
"Liar!" he shouted and I backed. He stood up and prepared to go outside.
I grabbed his arm. "Pleeeeze stay with ma..."
He freed himself and answered nothing.
"Dshiiiiiim?" I yelled after him. "I rememba there was no kehdamin in da injection..."
"Would you please shut up!" James shouted over his shoulder.
I tapped into the kitchen and downed a cup of coffee. "Tastes like shit..."
I went back to the sofa and managed to ask James "Ahya pishd?"
"Why should I?", he answered ironically.
"Did not know it was morphine..."
"Clear your mind", he snapped again.
"Id's clear..."
"Sure!"
I looked at him wide-eyed and withdrew into sulking corner. "Ya todally pishd..."
"YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!!", he suddenly yelled at me.
I winced. "Don't yell pleeeze...I asked you if it was..keh...keda...kehdamine..."
"And if it would have been ketamine - it wouldnt change a thing!"
"I'm used to kehdamine..."
"You cannot just grab you shots and inject! You're used to Vicodin! And that's enough I think."
"That's what YOU think" I mummled which made him totally mad.
He went outside and slammed the door and I curled up on the sofa.
After a while I decided to hit the sack and vomited all over the bed three times.
It was awful.