Monday, November 13, 2006

Patients are going to die

Mood: bored
Weather: rainy
Listening to: When you were young - The Killers

Ah, I like this song! Lifts up my mood a bit - I'm totally and completely bored.
No tricky cases, just five dull hours of clinic duty.
I started work at about 9 AM, had a few breaks and am condemned to clinic duty for two more hours now.
That's hardly fair! But Cuddy just smiled and shook her breasts.

I didn't see much of the ducklings today due to clinic duty, but I'm anxious to know about the rest of their weekend.
Did I mention I'm on clinic duty?
Well...I'm on clinic-duty!

Just now I think I could need another week off...
Cuddy looked at me distrustfully this morning.
"Are you stoned?", she asked me with a scrutinizing look.
"Huh?" I was surprised.
"Ah, c'mon, House! Just look at you!"
I shrugged. "I don't know what you want from me..."
"But...God, House. I really should take disciplinary action against you!"
I began to get angry. "Heck, Cuddy! What do you want?!"
"You keep on smiling, your eyes are cloudy and...your walk is a bit...strange."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not stoned! Want my pee in a tumbler?!"
She nodded. "Yes!"
"What?! You're not kidding?"
"No, and you better hurry!"
So I had to hand her a urine sample she had tested. No drugs! Of course!
Was there any excuse? No!
Just that:
"So you're not stoned and feeling well. I decided to clap two more hours of clinic duty on you...."
Great! Life hates me!

I had a couple of dumb patients this morning. Nothing spectacular. No one circumsized himself, no iPods in keiters, just runny noses, influenzal infection, common colds, headaches, pulled muscles and so on.

My personal highlight today was an outraged mother.
She accompanied her little boy who was approximately four years old and had a cold attended with fever.
She sobbed and watched me while I checked him.
"Will he die?"
I nodded. "For sure..." and looked into his throat.
"WAHAAAAAT?????" she cried.
With bored eyes I looked at her. "In about 70 or 80 years maybe..."
She fell silent and stared at me.
Then she began to yell at me. "Are you mad?! How can you tell me my son will die????"
I shrugged. "He will. We all will. You didn't ask me if I thought he was going to die soon..."
I scribbled a recipe and handed it to her.
She grabbed her boy and turned on her heels.

I think this will earn me another "date" with Cuddy, but I don't mind.


Blogger Dr. James Wilson said...

Head up, hun'

What about some nice movie this evening? Or do you have something else in your mind?

We could also make some music? You on the piano and I'll play the guitar ...

November 13, 2006  
Blogger Dr. Gregory House said...

We could just do both.
I'm in the mood for The Others.
And there's another thing on my mind...

November 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would have answered the same to her.

November 13, 2006  
Blogger Dr. James Wilson said...

*brushing my forehead and shaking my head in disbelief*

You two ...

November 13, 2006  

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