Monday, July 30, 2007

Tuesday night

Tuesday night made up for all the crap since Saturday evening - really.
Jim already told you about the horrible day we had.
It was more than crappy.
That's what it will be called now. The-day-that-must-not-be-spoken-of.

I was more than glad when James broke our silence - by accident or not, I was glad. What followed was the worst brawl we ever had and I suppose our abominable mood had much to do with the lack of sex in the last weeks. Since we've been together, we had no such time and are really not used to this.
Well, yes, we had cuddling and kissing....but always when it started to become ... more, Jim pulled away and reminded me of my wounds. I know that he was right - sure. But it was so frustrating and I bit the pillow more than once while Jim had several cold showers.
So I was glad he broke the silence that special Tuesday. That day when I received a letter from Dr. Featherstonhaugh. A letter that made me smile from one ear to the other.
But I should tell you about this later.

We've been to that wonderful restaurant Tuesday evening and at first I got really scared because I thought the appointment he cancelled there had been a date.
Yes, sometimes I am silly like that and I know that I am jealous.
How different was the way back compared to the way to the restaurant! James was slightly tipsy, but that was not the only difference. The self-imposed ice was broken and we leaned there to each other and held our hands not caring what the cab driver would think or not.
I could not wait to arrive at our appartment and James seemed to feel the same. His hand wandered up my neck, caressed it and then pulled me close into a long, slow and tender kiss that completely swept me from my feet. "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmh", I just moaned an wrapped both arms around him. The kiss seemed endless and the cab driver had to clear his throat several times.
Some hemming. "Sirs!"
We slowly pulled away from each other, watched the other one's lips slightly dizzy-headed and then looked at the hackie.
" are at home..."
"Oh...", we both said. Jim nodded slowly and paid him while I already got out of the car and awaited him at the door. I heard the cabby wish us a nice evening and watched James approaching me as the cab left. Unable to move I just looked at him. My knees felt like jelly and all I wanted was another kiss and dissolving into his arms to experience some more wonderful things I missed for a long time.
He stopped a few inches away from me and pulled me into another kiss which almost made me keel over. It took a while until I realized that the source of the distant, deep-throated purring was me.
When I opened my eyes again I looked into darkened and dilated brown ones.
"I think....I...I....I think we better go in now", James stammered and squeezed past me to unlock the door.

We both entered our appartment and managed not to pounce on each other immediately in the hallway.
I took a deep breath, watered the roses and lit some candles in the bedroom (yes, I had something in mind) while Jim rummaged in the kitchen until I heard the popp of the champagne bottle.
"Baaaaaabes?", he called. "Where aaare you?"
I smiled. "Heeeere!"
I stuffed away my sportscoat and turned around when I heard Jim step in.
"Oh...", he said and looked around. He then offered me a glass of champagne. "Darling..."
I thanked him and took it out of his hand. We both shivered a bit when our fingers touched for some seconds and had to grin.
"Phew...whow...", Jim smiled and I just took another deep breath. After clicking glasses and taking a first sip we both sat down on our bed. Jim did not appear that tipsy now and we both began "I am glad..."
We looked at each other and laughed lightly. "You first", Jim gestured.
I sighed. "I just wanted to tell you that I am glad this silence is over. And I am sorry for being that stubborn."
James smiled at me. "I wanted to tell you exactly the same."
He took my glass and put it on his nightstand together with his own. "It seems as if I had to wait for that forever", he then whispered (which really made me gulp), took me by my collar and looked deeply into my eyes.

I could not stand this any longer, pushed him back into the mattress and began to cover his face with kisses before I found his lips, parted them with my tongue and kissed him deeply and with quickly growing passion. My hands found their way underneath his shirt and before I was aware I took it off I already realized that Jim had removed mine. His bare chest looked more than inviting, the skin so soft and the candlelight wrapped him into a warm glow.
I sighed, bent down and kissed my way down from his throat to his belly.
Jim uttered a deep moan and arched slightly which made me swallow hard (and hardened other parts of me even more...). He grabbed my hair and drew me back up to him. The bulge in my trousers met his and we both gasped, moaned and clung to each other.
I heard Jim breathing heavily into my ear and I knew that I surely sounded the same.
" God...", James stammered and lifted my head by the chin to look into my eyes again.
"So beautiful...", he whispered and the warm and wanting look in his eyes made me shiver once more. He then sighed deeply, rubbed his forehead and cursed under his breath. "Dammit!"
I was puzzled and raised an eyebrow. "Hum?"
Jim wrung his hands. "Dammit!!!", he repeated. "Your know that it would not be wise to..."
"Shhhh", I smiled and put my finger on his lips. "I got a letter today..."
Now it was Jim's turn to look puzzled. "A letter? So.....what?"
My smile turned into a broad mixture of a grin and a leer. "A letter from Dr. Featherstonhaugh telling me I can do whatever I want to now. Whatever I want to..."
James stared at me for some seconds, then blinked and growled a deep-throated "Ooooooooooh YESSSSSS!" to grab my shoulders and throw me on my back.
"Whoooooh!", I was just able to rejoice before he ripped off the last of our clothes, parted my legs and made us become one with one hard and deep movement.
My eyes popped wide open, we both gasped and stared at each other. Shaking like leaves we clung to the other one's shoulders and Jim bent down to kiss me deep and tenderly. "God...I missed you...", he said in a trembling voice - I could just nod slowly. He kissed me once again - more demanding now and I was already about to scream when he started to move.
"This.Won't.Last.For.Long", Jim stammered and I perfectly knew what he meant.
And he was right.
We both came after four or five strokes still wanting more.
"I told you....", Jim began.
"U-huuuuuh", I moaned, embraced him with my legs and started to move again.
Jim growled, moaned and bent down to kiss and bite my neck. I was moaning his name and caressed his sides feeling love-dazed and wanting him so much I almost feared to go mad.
He made me sigh deeply, moved slow and tender and made several shivers run down my spine. My sighs turned into moans and the moans into screams, the screams into a final yell of lust.
Just to begin once again with making me sigh.

This lasted for hours - and it did not just feel like hours, no. It was beginning to dawn when we snuggled to each other finally and fell asleep.
"I love you, my wonderful husband", was the last thing Jim said to me that night. My answer was snuggling even closer and sighing deeply.

That night washed away all the unpleasant thoughts and fears and all the crap we went through the last weeks. It was more than wonderful. But I guess you already noticed that.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Spiderpig, Spiderpig...

...does whatever a spiderpig can....

Yes, I will write about or very lovely Tuesday night.
But first I have to shortly state that.

I talked Jim into watching the Simpsons movie with me - it was hilarious!
And now that Spiderpig-song is stuck in my head and fights with "I was taking a bath" (who knows my friend JoJo will maybe know what that means).
I am really considering if I should make this my new ringtone, but I think I'd go for the choir version then. (Guh, I'm such a nerd...)
Thanks to the guy who made this song!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Lapsing into silence

Mood: sulky
Drinking: Cameron's damn cinnamon tea
Eating: Foreman's Oreos
Listening to: Direct to helmet - The Spinto Band

I lapsed into silence.
Jim did the same.
It is a deafening silence and I hate it.
But I started the thing because he yelled at me in the car on our way home - totally pissed off because of that bauble with Nitrous oxide.
It was fun!
And I knew he could handle the car, otherwise I would have never done that. Believe me or not: I like being alive. At least since I am with James. That incident with the trigger-happy artard showed me once again that I could never think of not being with him. Being dead would be horrible - just because it would mean not to be with him.

Well, I crossed my arms and fell silent after Jim yelled at me Saturday evening and did not talk since then. Jim is almost as stubborn as me and did not talk either. So we just creep around each other, avoid the other's glance straightfaced and share silent meals, silent evenings and silent bedtimes.
The worst thing is that we don't even touch each other! The lack of sex was bad enough, but we still had some cuddling and kissing. Now there is nothing. No talking, no cuddling, not even the smallest peck on the lips. Maybe that makes it easier for James, but I have the impression he takes as many cold showers as before. And I try to think the feelings down. My mind keeps working on former cases, my own condition, my attempts on walking without my cane, recovering, medical news and so on.

He still insists I should undergo treatment and rehab, he even scribbled down a post-it note for me yesterday morning at the breakfast table to remind me of my appointment with Dr. Featherstonhaugh. I just snorted and drowned my cereals in vanilla milk. Jim opened his mouth and I really expected him to say something, but he closed it again and the breakfast remained a silent one.

Jim left the house afterwards and I still had some hours left until I had to show up at Featherstonhaugh's doctor's office. It was tedious being alone at home with nothing to do and I distracted myself with playing a bit mahjongg and cursing "into my stubble" as James calls it. I was really upset and soon scolding my computer and the mahjongg bricks and slamming my cane to the table afterwards almost destroying it.
"DAMN FUCK!!!", I yelled and amassed my temples angrily. I popped my too-manyeth Vicodin from the bottle I hid from James and smashed my fist to the table.
"FUCK!", I yelled again because that really hurt.
With an unnerved sigh I switched on the TV and watched Spongebob until I had to leave. My mood was six feet under when I got on my motorcycle, put the helmet on and bombed down the road to the hospital. It got even worse when I was stopped by some daft cop because I was "speeding".
He promptly started to get in my hair with his annoying chewing gum. I got off the bike, took my sticker and ranted about an urgent case and that he was risking the life of my patient and so on. He was neither amused nor impressed but examined my eyes.
"Any drugs?", he chewed and looked at me slightly bored but interested at the same time.
I rolled my eyes. "Just Vicodin. I'm a chronic pain patient."
He looked closer into my eyes. "Have a prescription for that?"
"Sure!", I gnarled and showed him one.
He nodded and waved me literally aside. I got on my bike again, put on the helmet and bombed down the road again knowing I couldn't be charged twice because of speeding.

Finally I arrived at the PPTH with a grim smile, parked my Honda at my handicapped parking and reluctantly went inside then. My watch told me I was already late which made me swear again. That damn cop.
I nodded grumpily at the nurses there and almost wanted to check in at the reception when I remembered that today I was here as a patient. So I just stepped into the escalator and headed for Featherstonhaugh's office.
He startled a bit when I entered without knocking as usual. A small man with dark hair, round glasses and a beak arose from his chair to greet me.
"Dr. House..."
I nodded.
"Dr. Featherstonhaugh." He reached out his hand and I looked down at it for a while before I took and shook it. "I am the one who operated you. Under the scouting of Dr. Wilson, Dr. Cuddy, Dr. Foreman, Dr. Chase and Dr. Cameron", he grinned.
"My husband and my gang", I nodded. "Thank you."
"Your....oh....I didn't know that...", Featherstonhaugh sat down again. "I always thought Dr. Wilson was the heartthrob here."
I shrugged. "He is."
"Interesting", Featherstonhaugh smiled and gestured me to the surgery couch. "Okay, let's examine your wounds."
He checked everything, told me that the healing process was quite fine and I inwardly rolled my eyes 'cause I already knew that. I still thought I did not need any appointments here.
"You disagree?"
" knew it was okay."
"Aha...I see. And you think you do not need to visit me."
"I don't just think, I know."
Featherstonhaugh leaned back a bit and smiled at me. "Well, I might know more than you in at least one point. Dr. Cuddy wants you to come here; you have to come to our appointments, Dr. House."
Oh, I was SO glad to hear that!
And SO glad about the rehab he proposed. Thank you, Cuddy!

Grumpier than before I left the room and made my way to the diagnostic department. As I entered the common room to fetch a biiiig mug of coffee there, all three ducklings sat over a file and lifted their heads.
Cameron jumped up and rushed over to me. "Dr. House!"
She hugged me and I just stiffened and stared at her.
Chase and Foreman patted my back and seemed to have forgiven me that sex store delivery thing. (Or they are not sure if it was really me...)
Foreman looked at my facial expression and grinned broadly. "Good things never change - a true ray of sunshine again...."
Cameron was determined to pamper me and brought cinnamon tea, cookies and a cushion (!) before she sat down next to me and almost seemed to crawl into me with a concerned face. They made me tell them about my last weeks, my progress and everything.
"What a pity Dr. Wilson could not stay at home with you for longer", Cameron sighed and patted my hand. I withdrew it immediately and just nodded.
"He feels quite lucky now to be at work, I assume", I thought and just changed the subject.
A quarter of an hour later I decided to leave as they refused to show me any new cases and interesting patients. "We know you would not leave at all then. You still have to recover", they said almost simoultaneously.
A snort was my only answer and my feet automatically led me to Jim's office.
I stood there for a while and thought about going inside. But if I did, I would have to say hello and be the first to break the silence. If I did not, Jim would feel he had to ask me about my appointment, I thought and turned around. (I did not know then that Cuddy would tell him everything about my appointment...Thanks again!)

Unfortunately I was a true schlimazel (as Jim might call it) on Monday...
I felt the urge to buy me a cold Reuben without pickles in the cafeteria and guess who I met?
Dr. F.! Tenacious M!
I heard him roar from far. "Ciao, Dottore House!!!"
He came over to me and hugged me for quite a while totally oblivious of the fact I obviously tried to squirm out of this situation.
"Dio, you look good!", he beamed at me when he finally stopped holding me close.
I brushed some invisible crumbs from my sportscoat and just glared at him.
"And what do you think of me?", he dared to ask and showed me a new suit underneath his labcoat.
"You have a face for the radio....", I grunted and made him happier than ever.
That idiot!
He kept patting my shoulder, put his arm around me every now and then and pestered me in every way I never wanted until I barked at him to stop it.
This just put a foolish smile on his face - unbelievable!
I escaped and went to Cuddy because I wanted to complain and explain to her why I did not need to see Featherstonhaugh.
I was a jinx again. No one there.

When I turned and headed for the parking lot the worst thing ever happened. I passed the gents rooms and heard someone moan and sigh. Of course I thought there was someone sick and peeped in. (Out of curiosity, not to help.)
What I then heard I surely won't forget that soon....
A male voice still sighed and moaned and then there was another noise I tried to define. I raised an eyebrow and thought about what this could be when this voice suddenly moaned "Greeeeeg.....ooooh......Gregoryyyyyyyy...."
Wide-eyed I stared at the toilet doors and felt a bit sick in my stomach. This voice belonged to Tenacious M, no doubt.
A "Buah!" escaped my mouth and I left the building as quickly as possible. "Ewwwwwwww!", I thought, shook my head and got on my bike. This was so disgusting. When I put my helmet on I saw him coming out of the door with a cloudy face, smile and wave at me.
"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" I thought again and drove away as fast as I could.

I really felt the urge to talk with James yesterday evening. I longed to feel his arms around me, to kiss and cuddle and of course even more. He just nodded at me when he came home and another silent evening began. I was way too stubborn to say anything and so I sat there dreaming of James pushing me down on bed and doing all the things I was longing for for soooooo long now.
No wonder my mood was six feet under again when I went to bed.

Sunday, July 22, 2007


Mood: cuddly
Listening to: A smile in a whisper - Fairground Attraction
Drinking: coffee

No, I am not dead.
Of course not - I wrote the last entry, didn't I?
Jim told me though I almost died and had to be brought back...Well, I suppose that was the moment I suddenly found myself standing behind him in the sitting room.
What do they say in this song? The journey home is never too long - the heart arrives before the train. Seems to be true.

In the meantime I almost died again. This time of boredom and annoyance.
Do you still remember Dr.F? Tenacious M? Yes? Do you? He's not dead, either. No, I just chose not to write about him. When I lay in my sickbed he pestered me every single rotten day with his visits - horrible!
Foreman thought this was awfully funny...The grin did not leave his face and I wished I could wipe it off with a wire scratch brush. "So nice. I never expected any other doctor to be so interested in your wellbeing..."
I used to just glare at him and he left with that annoying grin still on his face.
You might have read in Jim's blog that I was quite a crucible for the nurses and doctors and they all were relieved and applauded when I left the PPTH.

Um...and he wrote about that little...incident with those posters, I assume. It was my last day there and I thought I could not bear it any longer. I desperately wanted to leave and maybe you know how long such hours until tomorrow can be when you really, really, really look forward to something. Foreman told me I was like a child waiting for Christmas Day, just much more annoying.
I tried to distract myself with Calvin & Hobbes and some Gary Larson comics - to no avail. I then went to visit Coma Guy and watched Napoleon Dynamite there. That was when my sick mind formed this idea...
So I snuck into Cuddy's office after she left the building and made a bunch of posters there. Afterwards I peeked out and checked if the hallway was safe, tiptoed back to my room and started to plaster the walls with "Vote for Wilson" posters. Believe me, I laughed my ass off while doing so...I really cried tears of silent laughter.
James was only slightly pissed off because of that and took me out of there nevertheless. I didn't even torture him with are-we-there-yets on our way to Point Pleasant 'cause I fell asleep immediately in the car. I only awoke because of a soft touch on my shoulder.
"Greg?", a tender voice asked me.
I slowly opened my eyes. "Mmmmmm?"
"We are there", Jim smiled and kissed my temple.
"Oh..." I stretched and rubbed my eyes and was not aware of the fact Jim already brought our stuff into the house. So the trunk was empty when I went around the car to fetch my bag.
Jim shortly embraced me from behind and kissed my neck. "Everything's in the house - except the most important thing of all....My husband."
I looked over my shoulder and beamed at him. Sometimes I still can't believe it. How can I be so lucky?
Jim took my hand and we went inside. "I prepared everything for you this week. I hope you'll feel well here, my love."
"Of course I will", I replied. "I'm out of the PPTH, far away from annoying doctors and half-assed nurses, in our house and with you!"
I was so determined to spend a nice evening with him but slept until the next morning instead of having a short nap.
Yes, I slept quite a lot the first days and had no time to become bored or a nag or a bored nag. Jim even thought of bringing my laptop there, a bunch of books and some issues of Calvin & Hobbes.

When I began to feel better and we started to have some short walks at the beach the sick minded ideas returned. One evening when James was already asleep I surfed the internet for gay sex stores.
No, not for me!
Jim and me were invited to a party by Chase and I was sure to meet Foreman there, too. Of course! So I ordered some weird stuff in his name and had it delivered to Chase's appartment - COD. I was damn sure Chase would pay when he saw it was Foreman's order. And hallelujah, he did!

We went to his party and everyone was all smiles and awfully nice, something that was really new to me. Isn't it a strange convention to be nice to people you actually hate just because they almost died? I'd never do that...
Foreman greeted me with a more forced smile.
"House! So nice to see you again!"
Chase joined him and just nodded with an equally forced on smile. "Really nice!", he grunted and I smiled innocently.
Jim frowned and looked from Foreman to Chase to me and back again. "Uh....good evening and thanks for the invitation", he then friendly smiled.
"Oh, it is always a pleasure to have you around", Foreman answered and looked at me then with narrowed eyes.
"Did I miss something?", I asked with big blue puppy eyes.
Foreman's smile now resembled more a snarl. "I don't know?"
Jim began to become upset. "Could you please explain what you mean? Gregory wasn't even in the hospital the last week! I don't know what you are alluding to!" He put his arm around my waist and I was deeply stirred by his protection.
Chase just glared at me but Foreman replied with clenched teeth. "Someone - and I do not look at anyone here - ordered some very weird and strange stuff in my name at a sex store....It was delivered here. COD! And Chase payed for it!"
Jim stiffened a bit first but I was almost sure I heard him chuckle silently after a few seconds. "Really?", he and me asked simultaneously.
"Really!", Foreman grunted.
I smiled my most polite smile. "And was it useful?"
A snort was Chase's answer. "We have no idea how this stuff should be used. We do not even know what it is!"
"I wonder who does such things...", I said and rubbed my chin deep in thoughts.
"Hah!", Foreman just exclaimed and turned away to get himself a drink.
Chase followed him and Jim began to laugh.
"Greg! What have you done?"
I lifted my shoulders. "Nothing?"
He nudged my side. "C'mon, I know this was you...."
"Ouch!", I exclaimed and saw some stars sparkle behind my closed lids.
"Oh....ooooh...Greg...hunny....darling....I'm so sorry..."
I waved that aside. "I'm fine....I'm fine..."
Jim kissed my cheek. "I'm such an idiot..."
"Really, I'm fine..."
We sat down next to the table with the beer, wine and other nice beverages and I griped because Jim did not allow me to drink alcohol. " are still recovering! And think of your pills!"
Pouting was of no use at all and I had to content myself with ginger ale, sodas and coke. And because time flies when you are having fun I decided one hour later I did not want to stay any longer.
"Can we go home, Jim? Please?"
Jim looked at me concerned. "Are you not feeling well, dear?"
"Just a bit tired..."
He nodded and smiled at me. "Sure, darling. let's go home."

Home meant back to Point Pleasant where I immediately changed into my red pjs and dropped to the couch. Jim joined me there and I spread out my arms. "Awww, dear", he sighed and embraced me fondly. We held each other close and I pulled him down with me. Soon we found ourselves kissing each other deeply not wearing our shirts anymore. I was caressing Jim's back and already moaning with anticipation when he suddenly pulled back.
"Greg, we can't do that."
I stared at him. "Pardon?!"
"We can't do that. Your wounds, dear."
"I don't give a shit to my wounds", I mumbled.
"But I do! I care a lot, you know?"
I tried my beaten-puppy-look.
"No, Greg!"
"Stop that...."
"Pleeeeeeeeeze", I begged with my most pleading look.
To no avail. It was horrible.

And it still is! No sex since weeks! Just because of my damned wounds! I am sure I won't be hurt, but Jim insists it is too early although I can see that he really longs know what. Amazing will power....really.
This feels like cold turkey! And I am a grumpy asshole because of that, I have to admit. (Speaking of assholes....I had a get-well-present delivered here...It was a t-shirt reading "Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole!" Thank you, Foreman!!)
To distract myself I had something done to his car when he had to bring it to the garage. The turn signal did not work anymore, that was all. Well, I decided to play a little prank on him and...why not pimp his boring and slightly square car a bit?
He did not know about this Pimp my ride when he got the car back and did not find out about it until we drove back to Plainsboro yesterday...
He has to resume work this Monday again, pity.