The most rotten week in April 2004

Yes.
I know that was long ago.
But....well...
That week came to my mind a few days ago while talking to Foreman....and Jim asked me to write about it.
And he still thinks I had a hooker with me that Sunday he came back...
So here we go.
It's embarassing but it's his birthday and...consider it as a gift.

Day 1
It was around Easter.
A Monday as usual apart from the fact Jim was going to Paris with Julie, wife #3.
Monday as usual means:
I hated myself, hated work, hated every patient and hated clinic duty which I tried to avoid.
Monday as usual means, too:
Hating myself, hating work, hating every patient and hating clinic duty did not save me clinic duty. In fact I had to do some extra hours 'cause Cuddy thought I was mean to an old man.
Twice I walked up to Jim's office wanting to complain and twice I had to remind myself "Ah! He's off to Paris!"
So I had no outlet for my annoyance and distracted me with my Gameboy.
The evening was Monday as usual, too:
Popping too much Vicodin, swearing and complaining inwardly about clinic, having a few Single malts,drinking beer and watching crap on TiVo forgetting to have dinner.

Day 2
Tuesday.
I came to terms with the new working week.
My attempts on avoiding clinic duty became wittier and I played pranks on some of my colleagues.
I heard "House! You're a pain in the ass!" three times this day and succeeded in insulting a patient without being sued afterwards.
When I passed Jim's empty office I felt somewhat alone.
In the evening I ordered pizza and watched crappy horror movies, popped too much Vicodin and had some beers. The last one was obviously bad and made me vomit all through the bathroom.

Day 3
Oh, the middle of the week.
I am always grumpy because there are at least two more days left to work.
In the forenoon I received a textmessage fom James (I called him Wilson then) who told me he had an awfully good time at Paris and I felt a knife stab into my heart.
I was determined to make everyone else's day rotten and misbehaved at lunchtime in the cafeteria.
In the afternoon a challenging case distracted me from thinking too much and I almost forgot to get on Cuddy's nerves.
In the evening I ordered Chinese take-out , dryswallowed too much Vicodin and watched Vertigo.
Somewhere down the road it occured to me that this was Jim's favorite movie and I threw the remote control at the TV screen.

Day 4
Thursday.
I walked into Jim's office in the morning expecting coffee and some silly talk.
Of course he was still at Paris.
Silly old me!
My stomach began to hurt and I felt somewhat hollow.
Clinic duty was boring as hell and a patient vomited over my favorite shirt.
What a rotten day!
I changed and passed Jim's empty office once again.
Wondering why I felt so strange and empty like his office I popped two Vicodin and started clinic duty again.
In the afternoon more people got aquainted with my cane then the whole week before.
The evening was horrible.
I was at our Thursday-Night-Bar, had too many drinks and continued drinking at home.
There was a strange feeling nagging at me - I felt all alone and got angry.
So I decided to get stoned and spent the night on a chair in my kitchen.

Day 5
TGIF?
No!
I had a terrible hangover and the sight of Jim's empty office started to make me depressive.
So I avoided passing it and threw my cell down to the floor when I received another text stating Having a wonderful time here. At Notre Dame now drinking Café au lait.
Grabbing my cell again and stuffing it into my backpack I think I whispered a desperate "I miss you" just to freeze a few seconds later thinking "What was that?!"
The evening was exactly like Thursday night...just without the bar.

Day 6
Saturday.
No work today.
Too much time to think.
Too much time for too many drinks.
Too much time to drown too many Vicodin with too many drinks.
I remember breaking down on the floor halfway to my bedroom and spending the night there.

Day 7
Sunday!
I awoke on the floor and blinked into the bathroom.
My mouth tasted like a dungpit and I stumbled to my feet.
It took me hours to shower, brush my teeth and dress.
But I didn't feel like a human being afterwards.
Every limb hurt and that hollow feeling was nagging at me more dire than ever before.
I forgot to eat again and eked out a miserable existence on my sofa.
"You miss him!" a voice inside my head told me and made me angry.
I just HAD to make someone else's day truly rotten - but who's?
In the evening I had an idea and an evil grin appeared on my face.
I called the spiritual welfare and asked lots of stupid questions just to drive the woman on the phone insane.
But it was utterly annoying she stayed so calm and answered every single question I had. After a while my dumb questions turned into a conversation and during its course I suddenly started to sob my soul out.
I told myself that this was a part of my master plan and I was just annoying the woman on the phone.
But...I did not expect she tracked my number and was in front of my appartment suddenly ringing the door bell.
I answered the door and stared at her. "What the...?"
"May I come in?" she asked and did not wait for my answer just squeezing past me.
Inwardly I chuckled and was looking forward to keep at annoying her.

Two hours and 4 litres of coffee later I was sobbing again and sitting with deranged hair on my kitchen table. God...this was truly embarassing.
"I perfectly know what's wrong with you", she finally said. "And it's not your leg. In fact, it's nothing wrong but..."
She was interrupted by the door bell ringing the second time that Sunday.
"Who can that be now?", I thought. Approaching the door my second thought was "Wilson's back!!!"
Well...he was.
There he was...standing in front of me and gazing at me and looking as neat as a pin.
"God, House! You look crappy!"
I stepped aside and he took this as an invitation to come in.
The spiritial welfare woman was leaving quickly and patted my shoulder when she passed me.
The door closed and Jim stared at me. "A hooker?!"
I just shrugged. "Want a beer?"

New York, New York...

Mood: pleased
Weather: foggy and rainy
Drinking: coffee
Listening to: Moon over Bourbon Street - Sting

Yes.
New York.
We'll be there tomorrow - but Jim doesn't know yet.
And he does not know yet we have a day off tomorrow...and Thursday.
Of course Thursday!
And Friday.
And the weekend!
Who would want to drive home in the evening when being in New York?
Definitely not me.
Not that late.
Premium seats, 8 pm, Majestic Theatre, 247 West 44 Street, New York, 2 hrs 30 mins with one intermission ...
I'm so looking forward to it and I hope I chose the right thing. Well, I think it's much better then Eugene Onegin at the Met.

A short walk from New York's Broadway theaters at 50th Street and Madison Avenue the hotel we'll be staying at can be found: The New York Palace Hotel. I booked a suite and I hope James will like it.
Mmmmh...and dinner will be after the...um...music of the night at Aureole, 34 East 61st Street.
And for that very special occasion I will even dress up:

Revenge

Mood: giggling my ass off
Weather: raining
Eating: nothing, it's very early morning
Drinking: believe me or not - a cup of apple-fig tea

YES!
Revenge, sweet revenge!
If you read Jim's blog, you already know he did not just buy those ridiculous yammies. I got hideous slippers (uakk! you have to step into Homer's mouth to wear them!) and some...well...interesting boxers.

Okay, Jim insists I look cute wearing my superman yammies and we had a very cuddly evening and night. I lulled him into a false sense of safety...
He had to wear the Snoopy yammies and the pink Snoopy slippers I bought for him at the mall. It perfectly fits together! And I have to admit...he really looks cute in it.

But there was still my evil masterplan.
Around 3.30 am I called a cab.
"Hello? This is Dr. Cuddy from Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Could you please send a cab to Dr. James Wilson?"
I told the girl on the phone our address and stated it was a medical emergency.
Afterwards I tiptoed into the bedroom again and watched James fast asleep in his Snoopy yammies. Oh....he looked so heartbreakingly cute.
10 minutes later I sent him a message to his pager.
Medical emergency. Come here immediately. Cab is already waiting!

I hid my pager under my pillow and pretended to be asleep when Jim startled.
"Oh noooooo!"
"Hmmmm?", I mumbled and rubbed my eyes.
"I have to go..."
"Mnm...your beeper?"
"Yes."
He rushed out of bed and did not notice the message was sent from my number. I concealed a grin and looked at him with big and sad puppy eyes. "Oh noooo...hunny....This is awful! Isn't it enough we have to work all the weekend?"
He grabbed his clothes when the cabdriver honked the horn.
"Damn! I have to go there in my yammies!", he cursed and off he was.

It's 4 am now and I'm damn sure he noticed in the meantime that he's at hospital wearing Snoopy yammies and making a fool of himself. The cadriver would have told him he was called by Dr. Cuddy, I think, but the moment he entered his office it must have been clear as daylight that there is no emergency.
If he's not too pissed off I hope he'll bring rolls on his way back.

Just me

Mood: still cranky because of the hideous pajamas Jim bought me
Weather: cloudy
Eating: cereals with chocolate chips and bananas
Drinking: coffee
Listening to: Vincent (Starry Starry Night) - Don McLean

James took these photographs at our hotel room in LA.

Now don't complain - I know I need to shave!

Cruelty, thy name is James

James Evan Wilson, to be precise.

It was yesterday evening - I stood at our wardrobe and was complaining about my yammies. They all looked ratty, worn out, shabby, with loose buttons and so on.

"Mnm...I hate to go shopping...but I definitely need some new pajamas...."
James joined me and looked over my shoulder into the wardrobe.
"Well...there are still some I like very much..."
I sighed. "Some? Two!"
Jim put his arm around my shoulder. "Two. Right. But in my opinion you don't need yammies at all..."
I grinned at him. "As if I didn't know that."

Okay, we spent a pleasant evening without putting on yammies and I forgot about my words.
Until this forenoon.

I was sitting at my desk brooding over some strange symptoms of a young girl when James came in.
"I had a few minutes, so I thought why not go shopping and buy you new pajamas..."
At this time I was happy and smiled. "Really?"
"Yes. And I got two awfully nice ones!"

Nice. NICE he said!
Here they are...well...parts of them!

NICE????
God! They are embarassing and look incredibly girly! They are pink as you can easily see and the worst thing is I'll have to wear them!!!

I'm damn sure that shop had a rainbow flag over its door!
Thank you, Jim!
Ever so nice!

Back from LA

Mood: average
Weather: sunny but cold
Eating: a candy bar
Drinking: coffee
Listening to: Requiem - Andrew Lloyd Webber (CD)

We are back.
It's much colder here than in LA and it's clinic duty for me again.
Jim is moving around very carefully and Foreman seems to be plotting.
I should expect something, too, 'cause Furby was my idea...

Foreman was so pissed off at first.
He walked down from the stage with thin lips and narrowed eyes.
"House!", he hissed, "you promised!"
I looked up at him innocently. "I didn't do anything at all. This wasn't me - cross my heart!"
"Mhmmm", Foreman said and looked around the hall. "Strange that I can't spot anyone else then I could suspect of something like that!"
"Um..." I shifted on my chair uncomfortably. "The evildoer already left the hall..."
"The rats are leaving the sinking ship, huh?"
He sat down and leaned over to me. "And where did the 'evildoer' go then?"
I shrugged. "To the other congress taking place here, I suppose."
"Hah!", he exclaimed. "Now I know you are married to the delinquent!"
"Mnm...", I just answered and pretended to be absorbed in the next speech.
"Oh, I can imagine that! I have it right before my eyes! You sitting in your hotel room and pouting 'cause you had to promise not to do anything embarassing. Then James suddenly grinning and telling you he didn't promise anything at all!"
I kept my eyes on the next lecturer and did not reply.

Foreman picked at Furby's ear and watched the creature sitting on his knee now with closed eyes.
"Pfrrrrrrrrt...", he suddenly giggled and covered his mouth with his hand.
I gave him a side glance.
"Chrrrrmmmmmmm", he suppressed a crazy laughter again.
Suddenly he jumped up, left the hall and laughed his ass off outside.
I raised an eyebrow, then shrugged and took the advantage to leave, too, and join him in the lobby.
Foreman wiped tears off his face when I came out.
He was still chuckling. "You...", he began. "What have I done to deserve a boss like you?!"
I raised my shoulders. "Maybe you tortured little kittens when you were a child."
Foreman shook his head. "Nope. And Wilson sometimes isn't any better! You really have a bad influence on him."
He was still trying to catch breath.
"I think he was that way before we met", I insisted but Foreman just shook his head again.
"Wilson's so nice! And you tempt him to do such evil things..."
I grinned. "If you think so...."
Furby opened it's eyes again and moaned "Eriiiiiiiic".
Foreman stared at it and the corners of his mouth twitched.
"I'll bring that...thing up to my room now."

I nodded and turned around to go back into the lecture hall again, but the doors opened and the others swarmed out for an one-hour-break.
So I was heading for the restaurant and could already sniff the coffee when I heard "Greeeeeeeeg?" behind me.
It was that well known voice which always caused shivers of pleasure run down my spine and I turned around and smiled at James who waved and approached me.
He was followed by a bunch of female doctors who pretended to walk into the same direction by accident.
He put his arm around my shoulder and beamed at me.
"Was he pissed off?"
I pouted. "Of course he was. And you left me alone with him. He thought it was me..."
"Yupp", he grinned. "That's why I left!"
"You are mean..."
"Ah, c'mon...I'm sure he figured out by now it was me."
"Mhm...he did. But we still don't know who threw the bra."
The women were still around trying to catch his attention but he dragged me to the elevators.
"Having a break, too?", he smiled at me and I nodded.
"Yipp, one hour."
"I've only 45 minutes...but why not have a drink in our room?"
"Why not? Sounds good to me."

Disappointed the following flock watched us disappear into the elevator and I suppressed the urge to wave at them when the doors closed. James did not seem to notice anything and caressed my back on the way up to our room. I leaned against him and was looking forward to 45 minutes with him now.
We entered our room and I startled when Jim slammed the door. I turned to him and saw him lock it. Before I could ask anything he pushed me to the bed and I stumbled onto it.
"Hey!", I exclaimed and he bent over me switching on the hi-fi unit with one hand and then throwing away the remote control. Korn sang Coming undone while he looked deep into my eyes.
"God, babes...", he murmured. "You know you occupied my thoughts the whole time?"
I forgot to breathe and stared back into his eyes whilst he was removing my sportscoat and loosening his tie. "You should breathe again", he grinned and kissed me full of passion.
"Mmmmmmm", was the only thing I could reply feeling his hands everywhere.
"I never liked that shirt", he mumbled and tore it off. The buttons sprung around and he pulled his own shirt over his head unbuckling my belt one second later.
We got undressed in a split second I had the impression and became one so quick I just could gasp. "Jim!"
"Shhh", he said and began to move and bit my neck.
My fingers dug into his back and he turned me into that helpless lump again.

When I came back to here and now he almost immediately jumped up and dressed again. I wasn't able to speak and just stared at him with dilated eyes.
"Sorry, hun...I have to hurry...my break is over."
With these words he was out of the room and left me there gazing at the ceiling trying to realize where I was. Somewhat dazed I finally got up and gathered my clothes. The shirt was totally destroyed and I fetched a new one feeling like walking on wobbly clouds.
Ever tried walking over a bouncing castle? Then you know how I felt.
Slowly I dressed again, took the key and left our room. I was still not really back in this world and sat down on my chair slightly insecure.
"Hey, House!", Foreman said and flung himself into the seat next to me.
I slowly turned my head and nodded.
He examined me. "God, House! You are high! I can't believe you used the break to swallow drugs!"
"I did not...", I began, but he cut me off with a wave of his hand.
"What have I done to deserve a boss like you?", he asked me again and shook his head. "Tell that someone else!"
I sighed and tried to concentrate on the lecture but could only think of James.

A broad smile appeared upon my face and I was looking forward to the evening.

Jim and me again...

...this time not drawn by nyaar.
It's a photography as you can easily see...

Jim and me...

...drawn by nyaar, a very talented artist from Spain.
Visit her deviantArt side and see the original there.
She's awesome!
http://nyaar.deviantart.com

California, here I come!

No.
Not Sophie B. Hawkins.
Me.
Infact, Foreman and me.
In a narrow sense: California, here I am.
'cause actually I arrived here yesterday in the early evening.

It was a really crappy surprise to hear that Jim had to attend that congress and even lecture there. No way to chicken out of that and the thought of a week without him drove me insane.
Cuddy didn't seem to understand me when I phoned her and complained.
Of course not.
She knew I was invited to a congress there only one day later.
I just discarded the letter without reading it. I thought it was a plea from some doctor from LA for a consultation.
Thank God I did not tear the letter into pieces.

It was Thursday evening and Foreman was here because he was bored to death at home and missed Chase, I think. We both talked to Jim via MSN and he told me about the diagnostician's congress taking place there and wondered why I wasn't invited, too.
That was when I remembered that letter and dug it out of the dustbin again.
Okay...the ticket was a bit rumpled...but hey, I didn't know it was in it, right?

The sight of that letter drew a "SHIT!" from Foreman's lips.
"Huh?", I asked and raised an eyebrow.
He gestured to the letter. "That looks slightly familar...I discarded it, too.."
I grinned and read the letter included. "Yes...I think so...It says here you are lecturing on Monday...."
"I'm WHAT?!"
"Lecturing...on Monday", I chuckled and thought of all the things I could throw on the stage and yell.
Foreman arose from the chair. "Okay!", he raised his hands. "NO cheering and no plushies! No boxers or similar things!"
"Mnm", I pouted but my brain formed a new idea. Was a Furby a plushy? No. Not really. And if that Furby cheered when it flew to the stage it was nothing prohibited by Foreman.
"Happy days are here again", I sang and wrote to Jim that I'd arrive Friday evening.

The other day Foreman picked me up and we drove to the airport. I was grinning with anticipation when I thought of the Furby I bought the evening before and which was now stuffed deep into my bagpack.
"What are you thinking of?", asked Foreman. "I don't like that grin..."
"Aw!", I furrowed my brow. "That hurts!I am just looking forward to seeing James again!"
Well...that was no lie, I definitely was. My stomach turned and felt like filled with butterflies when I thought of meeting him. And besides that I was happy to have someone to torture during the long flight and distract me from my hurting leg that way. 7 hours and 30 minutes flight. This was almost inhuman! And a 30 minutes drive to the airport. I hate traveling.
Okay, actually I'd like it. With two good legs I'd love to travel.

I was still smiling when we checked in and embarked the plain.
Foreman contented himself with the seat on the aisle so I could look out of the window and watch the town getting smaller. For a while I looked at the clouds which resembled cotton candy, then leaned back in my seat and sighed. I missed Jim like hell. It did not feel like 'just' almost two days, it felt like two months or even two years. My stomach played rodeo when I thought of seeing him again within approximately 8 hours and I stretched out my leg and popped a pill.
Foreman was reading Time Magazine and I took the new Calvin and Hobbes out of my bagpack.
By doing so I lulled Foreman into a false sense of security. Okay...he gave me some distrustful side glances but leaned back after a quarter of an hour and read quite relaxed.
Half an hour later I lowered my comic and looked at him inquiringly.
"Are we there yet?"
He looked at me and frowned. "House...it's still about 7 hours until we're there..."
I sighed, shrugged and kept on reading.
45 minutes later I fought with the earphones an hit Foreman in his ribs with a very pointed elbow.
"Ouch!", he gasped and I smiled at him apologizingly. "Sorry...I want to watch the movie now..."
Snakes on a plane was not the best choice to watch during a flight, so I stuffed the earphones back to where I got them from and hit Foreman again.
"HEY!", he exclaimed slightly piqued at me.
"Sorryyyyyy", I apologized again puppy eyed.
Bored I thumped my cane to the ground time and again and concealed my smile when I noticed the annoyed glances Foreman shot to me.
I sighed deeply and turned to him. "Are we there yet?"
"House...", he began but then stopped and just shook his head.
With another sigh I leaned back and rubbed my thigh.
"Does it hurt?", he then asked and seemed concerned.
"It seldomly stops hurting. What a dumb question!"
My not-so-polite answer made Foreman snort and turn to Time Magazine again. I didn't care and dryswallowed two more Vicodin.
"You should not do that", he just remarked and I made a face at him.
Now that the pain was bearable I continued to annoy him with shifting in my seat, asking if we were there and stating I had to pee..
Only the food silenced me for half an hour, but afterwards I began again.
"Hallelujah!", he exclaimed and rolled his eyes towards heaven when the plain was in its final descent.
I just chuckled and looked out of the window.

My punishment was having to wait for Foreman's bag, I think, but half an hour later we sat in the taxi which brought us to the hotel. When we arrived I hurried out and left Foreman to pay the cab driver. My eyes rushed through the lobby but I couldn't spot Jim.
"Thanks for letting me pay!", Foreman gnarled and handed me my bagpack I left in the cab.
I nodded absentminded, "My pleasure...", and took my bag.
Where was he?
I made my way through the lobby and hit some people with my cane by accident.
"HEY! Can't you pay attention?", someone yelled followed by a "Oh...I'm sorry..", when he spotted my cane.

And then I met his eyes.
There he was, beaming and approching me.
My heart made a jump and I was heading for him.
Foreman was forgotten and I did not notice all the celebrity fans waiting for someone in the lobby. My eyes were fixed on him and then he was right in front of me.
"Hey", he whispered.
"Hey", I whispered back, unsure how to behave in the middle of that crowded lobby.
"Oh...". Jim sighed, grabbed my collar and drew me closer. "Come here, babes", he whispered.
(Yes, he calls me babes from time to time...)
I could not resist, grabbed his neck and kissed him passionately in front of all those people. My soul seemed to burst out of my chest and my heart hopped high and made my eyes slop over slightly.
When we parted we were both slightly panting and got back to here and now by a silent cough.
"Hey, Foreman!", Jim greeted him and they shook hands.
"Hello, Dr. Wilson!", Foreman said a bit awkward.
"Fine, enough of that polite stuff. I need a shower pretty soon and I am actually starving!", I muttered and shifted a bit.
"Good then. Check-in and we will go up and both of you can refresh then. Dinner at 8:15 pm though - booked a table in the Lobby Bistro and Lounge here", was Jim's reply and I beamed at him.
"You are my man!"
He grinned back to me. "Yes, I am".

When I checked in I think I broke the heart of the pretty young woman at the reception.
"You are going to share a room with Dr. Wilson, Dr. House?", she asked and smiled at me.
I nodded. "Yes, I am."
She looked into the book in front of her. "But you don't need to. We still have vacancies in spite of the congresses taking place here."
I smiled as sweet as chocolate. "But I want to share a room with my husband..."
She went pale. "Dr. Wilson?!" Her eyes flew to James.
I nodded again. "Yes, Dr. James Wilson."
"Oh...." she stammered. "I...I see....of course you do..."
Blushing she subscribed me there and nodded with a forced smile.

Foreman got a room the other floor and we made our way to our rooms.
My welcome was very warm and special and utterly enjoyable.

Valentine's Day

The day began pestilent.
Stinky.
All alone.
With dire pain in my leg.
With a puzzled mind.

I awoke in almost the same position I fell asleep yesterday and was rubbing the sleep out of my eyes mumbling Jim's name.
No response.
His side of our bed was already fairly cold and I assumed he'd gotten up early to read his newspaper and prepare breakfast. But there was none of the familiar sounds from the kitchen, no smell of coffee and no beautiful voice humming a tune.
I sat up.
"Jaaaaaaaaaames?"
Silence.
I crawled out of bed with an effort and stumbled three times trying to reach my cane. "Fiiiiiine, crappy days are here again!", I thought and popped two pills. Then I limped into the kitchen and searched for a note.
Nothing.
So I decided to have a shower and do all that morning stuff and took my Honda to hospital which was not the wisest decision I made in my life. Feeling even more crappy and grumpy I started clinic duty.

The ridiculous Valentine's Day decoration made me even crankier and I shoved a few patients, doctors and nurses out of my way making heavy use of my cane.
"Yes. It's House. Yelling, swearing and complaining....the usual sounds accompanying your entrance to the clinic!", Cuddy sighed and rolled her eyes.
I just grunted something not really nice and made my way to exam room 5 where an obese patient was already awaiting me.
"My arm hurts", he whined instead of saying 'Good morning'. "It's my heart! I know it!", he then gasped and pointed at his chest.
I sat down in front of him and gave him a bored look. "It's your watch."
"My....watch?"
I nodded to his hand. "Your hand is almost blue. And your arm looks odd. You are too fat for your watch, therefore your arm hurts."

Believe me...the other patients weren't any better. One of them threw up and ruined my sneakers, one spat snot on my shirt and when I was done with the first three hourse I had to completely change my clothes.

Well...and then the most unpleasant part of the day began. You can read about it at Jim's blog. I'm so glad this is over...

We really prolonged our lunchbreak at the Italian restaurant and sneaked out early to celebrate that special day I hated all these years and suddenly loved. That celebration was prolonged, too, because we both felt so relieved and cuddly and everything.
James was having a shower and I stood at the wardrobe trying to choose something for the evening at the seafood restaurant when Jim's cell went off.
"Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim?", I called into the bathroom.
"Huuuuuuum?"
"Your cell!"
"Answer the call, hun!"
"'kay!"

The person who called could just have heard the 'click' when I answered the phone. I couldn't say anything 'cause a voice roared into my ear.
"You are MAD!!!! How could you be so dumb??? Where was your brain, huh? I can't believe it!!!"
"I...uh....hm....what?", I managed to answer.
"Oh....Greg, it's you, darling!", the voice said with a warm smile implied.
"Ruth?!"
"Yes, it's me, dear...I was so annoyed when I read about Jim's behavior...."
She read Jim's blog???
"..."
"Greg, dear, I hope he didn't upset you that much. I should spank him for that. He was acting like a stupid little boy."
"Um...actually I would have thought the same, I suppose...."
She did not listen to that and just got off her chest what she actually wanted to tell James and then said goodbye and almost immediately hung up.
I think she had some pills or something....

I told Jim about it who just stared at me with disbelief, took my too-manyeth Vicodin and off we are now.
A wonderful dinner is waiting for us.

A Happy Valentine's Day to all of you.

Spreading panic

Mood: just brilliant - I made someone else's day really rotten
Weather: cooooooold
Drinking: coffee
Eating: Amy's cookies

Ah!
It's Friday!
Off duty for the weekend!
Foreman does my clinic duty today!
My cheeks hurt 'cause I am grinning for hours now.

Most people are scared of me today. That's no news to you, I know, but today they are really scared 'cause I can't stop grinning.
This is such an unfamiliar sight they know I'm up to no good.
Well, I was.

When I woke up I was grumpy because of the additional hours of clinic duty Cuddy imposed on me for today. She insists I'm years behind and this has to stop now.
So I was bound and determined to ruin someone else's day to lift up my mood. I was thinking during breakfast, barely noticing the worried sideglances Jim gave me.
"You're up to something", he stated.
"Am I?", I asked with a most innocent look on my face.
He narrowed his eyes. "You've been awfully grumpy this morning and now you're thinking. You're up to some mischief, I'm sure."
I just shrugged and finished my scrambled eggs.
"Something's rotten in the state of Denmark", Jim sighed and decided to leave me alone then.

An evil smile came to my face when I finally knew what I was going to do today.
Jim looked at me and flinched. "You do carry something in your head! Don't take me for an idiot."
I pouted. "Oh...I don't....I didn't say no, did I?"
He rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "No...you did not...I hope I won't be involved."
I shook my head. "Nope..."
Jim sighed for the second time this morning and cleared the table. "So let's go then. We're already late."
I arose and put our mugs in the sink. "We're awfully early!"
"That's just your opinion."
Mercylessly he handed my coat to me and off we were.
I was smiling with pleasant anticipation during the drive which bugged Jim even more, but kept silent.

Before he entered his office he turned to me and raised his hands. "I just don't want to know, okay? Just promise me I won't be involved."
"I promise", I smiled my agreement and limped to my office whisteling a little tune.
When I came in the first thing I noticed was the steaming double espresso on my desk.
I wrinkled my brow and slammed my bagpack to the floor. What was that? I hung my coat and sat down.
That was the moment I spotted the post-it that stuck on the espresso. It read Target terminated. Hasta la vista, baby!
"Huh?", I thought and stared at it. When I took it I noticed there was something written on it's backside: Non rimandare a domani quello che puoi fare oggi! (Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today!)
"Mhmmmmmm!", I now grinned. Arnello, for sure. The day started not as rotten as I first thought.
I downed the espresso and leafed through the new file on my desk when Foreman came in.
"Morning, House!"
"Yo, Foreman!", I smirked and raised a hand.
"Uh-oh...you're in a good mood. You're up to no good!"
"I'm just happy Terminator did his job..."
"What?"
I handed him the note. "Just read yourself..."
Foreman went pale if that was possible and scratched his head. "Um...well...okaaaaay..."
"One carking care less, eh?", I smiled.
"Yah, seems so..."
I pivoted with my chair. "Whoooosh! Thank God it's Friday!"
"House..."
"Foreman?"
"There's something else you have in your sick mind. I'm profoundly convinced."
"Yepp!"
"Will you tell me?"
I shrugged. "If you won't spoil it?"
He crossed his heart. "I won't."
"Okay then", I agreed and told him.

His eyes grew wide. "Oh noooo...you....this...you're joking!"
"I'm not. I thought this would be a nice idea."
"Nice!"
"Good."
"I bet you won't do that. You won't carry that out."
"If I do, will you do my clinic duty today?"
Foreman nodded. "Yes. I know you won't do that."

I so did! Foreman lost his bet and does my clinic duty now. And I?
I'm at peace with the world and myself.
I love today.

Now you are nosy, right? Want to know what I did, right?
Okay...I'll tell you. It's over now and you can't try to convince me not to do it.

It just came to my mind that Danby didn't get any "welcome-prank" when he took up employment here. Marks was greeted with that special wine, but when Danby came I was too busy to think of something like that. So I made up leeway now.
I knew he had clinic duty today - beginning at 2 pm, exam room 4.
So I pretended to be too busy for a lunchbreak, sneaked out and went to the butcher around the corner. Foreman told me I could buy pigblood there - and that was what I did. A large amount of pigblood. The butcher seemed a bit puzzled though...
Secretly I poured out the whole mess in exam room 4.
Highly satisfied I saw the blood springing up beneath the door at 1:50 pm.
Now I just had to wait.

I hid a few steps away from the room, peeping round the corner from time to time. By now the blood caused a mild panic to the doctors who passed by and when I saw Danby approach I limped up to him and put on a worried expression.
"Danby! God! This is...oh NO!"
"Hum?", he asked and gave me a puzzled look.
I pointed at the door to exam room 4. "It's Ebola!", I exclaimed and noticed his eyes widen. I grabbed his collar and shook him. "For Christ's sake, get your hazmat suit!!! NOW!"
And I limped away as fast as I could.
Danby seemed to be paralyzed for some seconds, but then followed me and ran. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!"
The whole incident spread blind panic and after a short while everything was up in arms.
One poor guy with a broken arm slipped out on the blood and broke the other arm, too. (And I hope he won't sue me.)

During the whole brouhaha I sat in my office laughing in my sleeve.
Okay, Cuddy gave me a good hiding and I had to pay for the cleaning squad - but it was worth it.

Can't I just have a nap?

Without being disturbed by Chase trying his new camera again?

What does that drunkard from Diablo say?
"Can't a fellow drink in peace?!"
I ask you:
Can't a doctor sleep in peace?!

Sooo true!

To Tracy, Betty and my Italian visitor

Tracy and Betty:
No, I won't come home to you.
You can wait until kingdom comes.

To my Italian visitor:
Buon giorno!
I'm pleased to see you around every day.

The Fog

Mood: cranky
Weather: foggy
Drinking: coffee
Listening to: Sweet thing- Horse

Rachel, butthead and Sean spend a few days nearby and we went to visit them yesterday evening. They rented a cosy cottage amidst woods out of town, don't ask me why. All the same, they called us and told us they were here inviting us to dinner.
Well, I think butthead only wanted to invite James...but of course they asked us both to come.
Apart from the fact butthead was around and kept at trying to make me feel like an idiot the evening was fairly nice and pleasant. Rachel is a gorgeous cook - not as gorgeous as James, but it seems to run in the family - and prepared a more than delicious three-course meal. The dessert was warm chocolate cake with fudge...oooooohhhh....grrrreat!
Butthead was really annoyed by my pleasured little noises and I overdid basically because I wanted to. I love bugging butthead aka Simon and for what remained of that evening we shot cutting remarks at each other.
James chose to ignore that and just rolled his eyes to the ceiling from time to time or nudged my side.
"Greg!", he would hiss, "stop it!"
And I would always look at him with innocent puppy eyes. "Why, I didn't start this..."
"Yeah, but you don't do anything to stop it!"
"I just don't want to let him think he won", I would shrug and continue.
This went on until late but I think James and Rachel had a nice conversation though in which I took part from time to time (which was apart from the meal my pleasant part of the evening).

We spent the night there and left in the very early morning. Don't ask me why but James made me stand up at 5 am - he had a bunch of bumf he said and he wanted to finish it before we're off to Point Pleasant for the weekend.
I was cranky, as you can easily imagine.
"It's in the middle of the night!", I griped and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes.
"It's early morning, dear."
"And no time for you to fool me with cardboard again...", I remembered him of the last time he arose at 5 am.
James grinned and nudged my shoulder. "I made good for it, didn't I?"
I couldn't help grinning broadly. "Yes...you did..."
I watched him leave the bedroom and agonized over getting out of bed. My leg hurts like hell since yesterday and I secretly swallowed two Vicodin instead of one. Closing my eyes a few minutes I waited for the pain to vanish a bit and then began to pack our things.
Then I joined James in the bathroom and looked at my tired face in the mirror.
"Jim...this is unhuman", I complained again and brushed my teeth.
"Wait until you had your first coffee", he smiled at me and kissed my cheek. "And please shave."
He left the bathroom and I heard him rummaging in the kitchen, obviously percolating coffee.

After showering I felt a bit more like a human being and put on my clothes still a bit cranky. It was fairly difficult this morning to get into my jeans. I hate such days, really, they already piss me off in the early morning. Finally I managed it and forced a grim smile on my face. "There you go", I mumbled to myself and limped into the kitchen where a steaming cup of coffee, toast and James were awaiting me.
"Aw...you're so cute in the mornings!", he beamed at me.
I grunted something unintelligible and sat down next to him. The coffee helped to lift my spirits a bit and a third Vicodin served as a little friend, too.
"Would shit hit the fan if we'd show up a bit later at PPTH?", I then asked him.
"Nooooooo", he smiled again and I always wonder how he manages to bear my grumpiness and keep smiling. "But we would have to stay longer...at least me. I told you I have a lot to do today. And don't you want to start for Point Pleasant as early as possible this afternoon?"
I looked into my mug and just nodded. I could see my face in there and noticed I didn't shave. I just forgot about it.
Of course I was reminded. "And after breakfast you'll go back to the bathroom. You know why...."
I just rolled my eyes and toddled off as good as gold.

It was a quarter to six when we left and it was awfully foggy outside. You couldn't really see your hand in front of your face.
James drove slowly and concentrated hard and the whole drive reminded me of that weird movie - Dead End. Okay, it's not foggy there but dark and the woods don't seem to end. Add the fog and you have our morning. You could hardly see the street, everything seemed unreal and blurred and the whole morning mirrored my inner feelings.
I knew it was clinic duty again for me today, I was slightly pissed, tired, my leg still hurt so much it was abhorrent and I was just grumpy. So I chose to be silent all the way not to bother James and just listened to the CD James dug out of my collection - something by Ronan Hardiman.
This one was the perfect soundtrack for the fog today:

And it perfectly displayed my mood somehow which only changed when I fell asleep in the car. James gave me sideglances from time to time but really had to concentrate on the street.
Suddenly he stopped, leaned over to me and kissed me deeply.
"God, Greg....you're way too cute when you just sit there in silence and look out of the window...."
I didn't object to that 'cause I enjoyed the kiss too much.

With a broad grin I swallowed another Vicodin and planned to make everyone else's day rotten at PPTH and was sure I'd be in a good mood afterwards.