A visit from the sheriff

James was really a sight for the gods in his long underwear and the woollen socks he found in the cupboard.
"Poor hun", I grinned at him after he phoned Mr. Brunswick (as he told you in his blog this guy's running the grocery store, is chief of the local fire department and mayor here). "Fancy a massage?"
"Hrrrmmmmmm....sounds alluring", he purred and I nodded to the bedroom with a broad grin on my face.
James smiled and hurried over so that he already was stretched on his belly when I entered the room.
I warmed some cream in my hands and began to knead his back.
"Aaaaaaaaaw", he moaned and I felt a slight twitch in my stomach.
"What a pity Brunswick jr. will be here in about an hour", I whispered into his ear and grinned when I saw goose pimples spread all over his back.
Three quarters of an hour later I stopped to amass him and rubbed my hands.
"Geesh, that was long...But you'd better hurry now to be decently dressed when the mayor's son turns up here", I winked at him.
"Mhmmmm", he nodded somewhat dazed and put on a black Jeans, t-shirt and a dark brown turtleneck.
I sighed and kissed his cheek. "You look scrumptious..."
He smiled at me and kissed me tenderly. "And you're way too cute in your Irish sweater and corduroys!" For a while I ran the risk to drown in his eyes when we heard the sound of the snow-mobile approaching the cottage.

"There he is", Jim grinned. "We're ready just in time."
"You're ready just in time", I smirked, "I wasn't laying on the bed in long underwear..."
James slapped my shoulder and went into the living room.
The engine stopped outside and a few minutes later there was a knock at the door.
"Dr. Wilson? James?"
James opened the door and stepped outside.
"Hello, Finn! How are you?", I heard him say.
"Fine! I already heard you're up here. Pity it's such crappy weather, but you'll be provided with everything you need."
Then there was some rummaging and James entered with a big brown bag filled to the brim with lettuce, tomatoes, tangerines and other things.
I raised an eyebrow and decided my leg was good enough to help him and Finn Brunswick. So I stepped outside and saw a man in a police uniform grabbing some bags from the snowmobile.
"Oh, the local sheriff provides us with food?", I grinned and he turned to me. He was rather handsome and roughly the same age as Jim, therefore they knew each other by their first names, I thought.
He froze in his step and looked at me. "Uh..."
Again I raised an eyebrow. "Um...yes...nice to meet you", I said, limped to the snow-mobile and took the bag with beverages.
Meanwhile Jim was back at the mobile and took two other bags. We both turned to the cottage and Finn Brunswick hurried to follow us.
We put everything into the kitchen and Brunswick found his voice. "Er...I'm sorry", he beamed at me and shook my hand. "I'm Finn Brunswick, the local sheriff."
"Gregory House", I replied and asked myself when he'd stop shaking my hand.
He didn't, so I asked "May I have it back? There are some more bags outside, I suppose."
"Uh? Oh...I'm sorry", he answered with a foolish grin and scratched his head.
In the meantime James came back again, nearly covered with bags.
"Was that all?", I asked him.
He shook his head. "Nope...I suppose Mr. Brunswick thinks we'll be stuck here for the next month."
I giggled and went outside again, followed by Sheriff Brunswick.
"So you're a colleague of James?", he asked.
I nodded and already was on my way back into the cottage, a bag with crisps, chocolate and other nice things in my left hand. They really seem to like James here.
"Inter alia", I replied and smiled at James who passed us to grab the last bags.
"Er...what?", Finn asked with a puzzled expression.
I fought down a giggle and replied "Among other things, yes!"

Back in the kitchen I eyed the heap of things. "Good Lord...are you sure your father didn't think we're ten people up here?"
Brunswick shrugged and smiled. "He always fears someone could run short of inventories."
Jim grinned and fetched his wallet. "Really thoughtful of him."
"He told me the beverages are a gift. He's pleased to see you here again", Finn told James. Why are villagers always so awfully nice? It was like in one of those 50ies TV-series, I thought.
We thanked him and James asked "As it seems decades I wasn't here, what about a whisky at the fireplace, Finn? Or do you have to take your own driving license if you're under the influence of whisky on your snow-mobile?"
Finn grinned and shrugged. "No, I don't think so. Whisky sounds good." He took off his jackett and cap and sat down on the sofa where we joined him with a bottle of Glenfiddich and three glasses.
"Jethro Flanders told us you're up here", he began and grinned broadly.
"The local tattletale, I suppose?", I asked.
Finn nodded and beamed at me again (and I noticed Jim slightly frown). "Don't ask me how he gains all his knowledge, but he also told my father that soon afterwards another guest arrived with a car that reminded him of the mafia."
I snorted. "Mafia, eh?", and whistled the tune of The Godfather. "Well, who knows...but I'm just a doctor..."
"So, you're an oncologist? James is the head of oncology at your hospital, right?"
"Right", James nodded. "But Greg is head of the department of diagnostic medicine."
Finn nodded and seemed impressed.
He told James the latest gossip and who died and so on, always turning to me and smiling foolishly. James looked at me over his shoulder and I just shrugged. This guy was obviously odd.
"And is your talemonger also informed about when we're going to bed here?", I finally asked with an innocent smile. Of course I wanted to know if some old fart is lurking up here and thought of last night.Finn laughed.
"Ah, no! Of course not. He just saw the cars coming up the way to the cottage."
I nodded. "Fine!"
James yawned insistently. "God..I'm tired...is it really that late?" he feigned.
I looked at my watch. "God, your right, it's almost 9pm."
With an excusing smile I turned to Finn. "This must sound odd, but we're awake since half past four this morning, discussing cases, you know..."
He nodded and was all smiles. "Yes, it's late then. Well, doctors and cops are always on duty, I know...Well, if you're in need of anything, just tell me", he said, already shaking my hand again.
"Oh, I'm sure if I'm in need of something James will take care of it", I grinned and arose.
James stood up, too, and we guided him to the door.
"But...now that you mention it...Is there a doctor at the village? I'm running short of my pills..."
He nodded. "Just scribble down what you need."
I handed him a memo with just Vicodin on it and he promised to phone us when he came to bring them.
Another foolish smile and scratching his head later he sat on his snow-mobile, waved and off he was.

James shook his head and I turned to him.
"He's odd, right?"
"No...normally...not."
I shrugged. "But he behaved odd."
James smiled at me and we went inside again.
I lay down on the sofa and looked at him with big, round hug-me-eyes. "I'm in need of hugging", I said. "Will you take care of me?"
James lay beside me, took me into his arms and softly kissed my forehead.
"But of course..."

Snowed in

Mood: still "Hug meeeeee!"
Weather: still snowing
Drinking: Hot Chocolate with whipped cream...yummy
Listening to: Twist in my sobriety - Tanita Tikaram

God...I can't describe how cosy this is.
There's a fire in the fireplace, we lit candles, outside it's snowing and snowing and snowing and it's smelling like hot chocolate, James and the fire.

After James was desperate to tell you about the morning, you'll know by now why I stated it started perfect, eh?
And fat and dislikeable Mr. Ed's Vogler's blog couldn't change my mood a single inch. Hah!
He still tries to annoy me and posted this picture:

It has the caption: Where's the monster?
Well...I spotted the monster right away. It's that huge guy standing beside me, hm?

I gave Jim ear candy with that Tanita Tikaram song and he's still humming it from time to time. (Well, and I'm listening to it again...it has somewhat odd lyrics...but I really like it. Sweet and handsome, Soft and porky,You pig out 'til you've seen the light Erm...if she thinks so...Reminds me of Dadaism.) I love oboes and it has plenty of oboe-parts.
But this one is even better: Valentine Heart. Could listen to it for hours and just watch and cuddle my husband.
Husband! How does that sound?
I'm still not used to that word and was silly today. I was humming for about five minutes while holding him close Hubby, hubby, hubby....your my husband.... God, I really made a fool of myself and sometimes I really ask myself who wears the breeches. (Foreman asked me so...well, I think we take turns in this...or is it James? No...Is he? Erm...I think we're just equal.)

For the last hours we lay in bed cuddling, snuggling and snogging and watching Twin Peaks on the internet. It's so cosy I can't describe it.

Wait a minute...my mobile's ringing...

Nice...It was Cuddy. She told me to get our asses to PPTH.
We'll do what we can, Lisa!

Just me, myself and I

I played with Paint Shop Pro.
You might remember this picture as a black and white shot.
Well, now it's coloured and I added my name in an odd font.

I love that song

...and I love that movie.
Jim unfortunately hates it.
It's too bloody and too "B", I think.
Maybe I should ask Chase if he'll watch it with me?

Don't panic. There's no one dying in that vid...It's only a school project of these two ill-minded sisters.

Another song I have in my mind

Silly vid...

Just don't ask me what it reminds me of.

Ooops

I really didn't think that through...
Will my blog now be rated NC-17?
Heck! Why do I always have to mention so much?

Melting the snow away - in a very special way

Mood: Hug meeeeeeee!
Weather: Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
Drinking: coffee
Eating: bagels

Whoosh, I'm in a huggable mood!
We had an awfully nice start in the morning - erm...maybe I'll mention that later.
And by the way: We're snowed in. The SUV is nowhere to be seen, it's covered with heaps of snow.

Yesterday afternoon and evening we talked a lot, held us a lot, cuddled a lot and kissed a lot. Somewhere down the road James fell asleep as he didn't get any sleep the night before and lay there slightly snoring for almost four hours. (Maybe he catched a cold. And it sounded so cute!)

Meanwhile I sat in the armchair, had a Scotch or two and watched the flames. I had much to think about and I swear, if that uncle wasn't already dead he'd better make his will by now.
In order not to let my thoughts stray away I looked around the kitchen and explored the fridge. There was steak in it, I found beans and potatoes and after meditating a few minutes I decided to prepare dinner with that. Steak, potatoe wedges and bean salad.
To my own surprise it turned out well and I heard James moving in bed when I set the table. I sneaked into the bedroom and fondled his hair.
"Hey, hun...so you're awake..."
He blinked and moved a bit. "Mhm...I am...", he yawned and I had to hold myself back not to cuddle him through the slatted frame.
He stretched. "How long have I slept?"
I shrugged. "About four hours I think. You needed rest." I smiled at him. "Hungry?"
His eyes popped open. "Now that you mention it...YES! I am hungry! I could eat like a horse."
Kissing his forehead I told him "Up, up, my love, dinner's ready!"
He grinned. "Aaaw, my little wife, that's so sweet of you!"
I slapped his head and proceeded to the table.
He followed me and sat down. "God, you made potatoe wedges? How did you manage this?"
"Al forno", I grinned, "..I'm not daft", I winked at him.
He smiled and began to eat at once. "Fhat's good", he mumbled between two chews and I poured the wine.
After a while I couldn't help teasing him and flipped a potatoe wedge to his nose. With a quiet plong it landed on the table and I innocently sipped my wine.
James looked up, "Don't throw potatoes at me...", and continued eating.
I shrugged and flipped a bean into his hair, but in that very same moment he flipped a bean at my eye. We both giggled and if you're familiar with the parts of a drama you'll know why I call that comic relief. If our drama was Macbeth throwing food served as the drunken porter.
And because I was thinking of Macbeth I grinned devilishly at James. "By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes...." I took a deep sip of wine and stood up to apporoach him.
"Uh-oh", he just said and I bent over, kissed him and let the wine flow into his mouth.
"Guck", he said and I returned to my chair. "Nice...Really nice, Greg..."
I waggled my eyebrows and continued eating. "Hm...now there's only the steak missing on you", I pondered.
Jim pointed at me with his fork. "Don't you dare..."
I smiled with my uttermost innocent expression and turned my attention to my meal. Just when he thought himself safe I threw a tiny piece of steak to his eyebrow. First he didn't notice but I started to giggle again.
He looked up. "Huh?"
I pointed at his face with my knife. "There's something dangling from your eyebrow..."
"Ukk! You...You're unbelievable!"
"Wasn't me", I lied and he stood up. I tried to escape him but he grabbed my collar and drew me close. "You...", he said.
"Me?" I said with big round eyes and he concealed a smile.
"You..."

I freed myself and hobbled to the door. He follwed me and when I tried to open it it was blocked by heaps of snow.
"Ooops....we're snowed in I suppose..."
"Erk", James launched out and I took my coat, opened one of the windows and climbed out.
"Whooohoooo", I yelled inside. "Come out and look at this!"
James put on his clothes (as he didn't want to come out in his yammies) and his coat and climbed out of the window as well.
For a while it had ceased to snow, the moon was high and everything around us glistened. The warm shine from the windows turned pieces of snow to gold while other parts glistened silverish and blue.
"Wow...", Jim whispered and looked around. That was a truely beautiful winter wonderland and it looked just like X-mas.
I snickered and pointed into the direction the SUV was supposed to be. "We'll have to dig it out tomorrow..."
James looked up into the sky. "I don't think we'll return home tomorrow."
I grinned. "Cuddy will kill us..."

I tried to limp a few steps through the snow, took a handful, formed a snowball and threw it at Jim's head. First he stood there like a stuffed dummy.
"Hey!", he finally exclaimed and it didn't take long and we started a silly snowball fight. This took almost ten minutes until James ran into me and we both fell into a heap of snow. He lay on my chest and I giggled my ass off 'til I noticed his eyes growing dark.
He looked straight into my eyes. "Stop looking like this", he said hoarsely.
"But...", I only managed to say and was silenced with a passionate kiss which made my head fly away.
James grabbed my scarf, threw it aside and opened my coat. "God, Greg!", he panted. "I want you! I need you and I swear I'm gonna take you right now and here." He kissed my neck and fumbled his coat open. The only thing I could do was sigh and he muttered between his teeth "This only turns me on...You'd better stop it!"
"Fool", I thought, "Why should I?", and leaned my head back into the snow.
James tore my shirt to tatters and his kisses on my bare chest left traces of liquid fire. His hands were everywhere, he forced away our trousers, threw his shirt aside, sucked and licked my skin and made me mad.
He kissed me hard - I felt my skin break and tasted my own blood in my mouth but didn't mind.
When he looked into my eyes they were dark as the night sky and I saw the anger in them. He flew into a rage but wasn't furious with me (of course).
Biting and sucking my neck he scratched my sides and panted into my ear. "This feels like insatiable hunger", he moaned and I put my arms around him.
By then my coat was soaked with snow but I wasn't cold at all.
When he forced his body into mine with one hard stroke I could only gasp and he hissed into my ear "Now I'll do what Chase told you....I'll f*** your mind out..."
And he did his best to keep his promise. He moved hard and deep and turned me into a squirming bundle of passion. My initial sighs turned to moans and the moans became cries finally. There was no sign of the well-behaved Dr. Wilson everyone at PPTH knows and he drove us both mad.
I felt miles away and after all he broke down on my chest and panted clouds into the cold air. I tried to catch breath and felt tears rolling down his cheek.
For a while I just stared into the sky, it began to snow again and I fondled his hair. "It's no wonder if the snow around us melted away", I thought but it still was there. I still wasn't cold and after some minutes James straightened up.
"God", he whispered. I looked at him and it was in evidence that the ugly lump of all his buried anger, fear and ill memories had dissolved into nothing. Tears were still rolling down his face and I reached out to brush them away.
"Thank you", he said voiceless. "Please don't feel used..."
I sighed. "If it's always like that, use me more often..."
A grin lightened up his face. "Goodness, I destroyed your shirt", he exclaimed, bent down to kiss me and then helped me up. "We'd better go inside until we freeze to the ground..."

Walking felt like walking on wobbly clouds and I immediatley made my way to the bathroom and had a long, hot shower.
A few minutes later James joined me. We hugged each other shortly and suddenly he pinned me to the wall, whispering into my ear "Hell, it's really insatiable..."

Nothing Else Matters

Always on my mind since a few hours

Lost for words

I'm sorry, I'm still lost for words.
After all, Jim told me what was eating him and I'm shocked, dumbfounded and ... well, overflowing with love for him.
I'm sure you'll too be somewhat taken aback when you read what he told me. My poor, loveable, awesome, terrific, wonderful, beloved and beautiful husband.
Oh God...

I hope he'll never ever do something like that again.
It was horrible finding out he was gone and all alone with his fears and feelings.
I'm so glad I found him - thanks to Ruth, who told me about this place.

I think I'll phone her now to tell her all's well.

And then...I'll be back to cuddle Jim. I can't think of anything else than having him near me. I'm always there for you, my love, never forget that.

And to those at PPTH: We'll return tomorrow but I'm not sure if we'll turn up at work...

Just posting some pictures

...to distract me...

James and me...at some dark corner.


Me in my labcoat. Don't get used to that sight!


Teasing Jim...


Er...just me.


Guess who's visiting me? Need a clue? Look at the pocket-protector...

At the fireplace

...in the cottage, having a coffee...

Being there for you

Mood: relieved
Listening to: I Will Be With You - T'Pau
Drinking: Coffee

Such a beautiful song...

I will be with you
You're here in my heart
But if you never come back again
We'll never be far apart
I miss you so much
Wherever you are
But if you never come back again
We'll never be far apart.

I'm so glad I finally found him.
I'm so happy he's here now.
We didn't talk much so far, but he also didn't send me home so far.
And I hope he won't do that.

I awoke because of the scent of freshly brewed coffee and it took me a few minutes to realize where I was. I shifted in bed, stretched and rubbed my eyes.
A look outside the window told me it was still snowing and there was still daylight. I couldn't have slept for long.
There was quiet music and the smell of coffee and my heart missed a beat.
Jim.
He was back.
I crept out of bed and silently approached the living room door. There he was...sitting on the sofa and watching the fire. Just as I did some hours ago.
My mind somehow switched off and I didn't think of pouring us coffee or saying hello or anything.
I just sneaked to the sofa, nestled beside him and held him close.

"You found me", he whispered and his lips found mine to kiss me with such tenderness it brought me to tears. Once again all my walls crumbled and I just sat there, kissed him, held him and at the same time sobbed my soul out.
I tried to fight that down, he was already feeling miserable enough, but I couldn't help it.
It was cosy and warm at the fireplace, he smelled of Fahrenheit, new clothes, coffee, the fire and James and I surely was deranged in my flannel-pajama with cascades of tears running down my cheeks. I couldn't stop cuddling and kissing him and just managed to whisper "I missed you so much. I love you, Jim."
My heart was pounding against my chest and I felt such a longing for him and a love so great I thought it would break my heart into myriads of pieces. It was like a tsunami crashing upon me and I nearly drowned in his eyes.
He snuggled at my chest, fondled my hair and covered my face with kisses.
"I love you, Greg."
That was all that counted.
We could talk later about what caused him to hide here.

I am there for him and I will do everything I can to help him cope with these things in his past. I'll give him everything he needs.

HAHA!

I couldn't resist to distract me with that stupid quiz before going to bed now.
Well...and I hoped Jim would turn up soon.

You Are 25% Stereotypically Gay

You have a hint of gayness about you, but only very slight. You might have a few qualities that fit a gay stereotype. But in general few people are going to think you're gay.

How Stereotypically Gay Are You?
Make a Quiz

Off I am

I'm at Canada now.
Far away at some hidden cottage amidst lakes and snowy mountains.
Here it is:

Doesn't it look cosy?
Well...it is actually...but I'm alone.

But I should start at the beginning.
I went mad when I read Jim wasn't even in the country and hobbled as fast as I could to Cuddy, yelling at her how she could dare lying to me and telling her I was off now.
She just stared at me and nodded a few times. I didn't wait to get her approval and limped back into my office where I phoned Ruth.
"Greg! Darling! How nice! How are you?", she said and I could almost hear her beaming smile.
I cleared my throat. "Um...not very well, to tell the truth..." And I started to tell her in brief what happened.
"Oh my God", she said voiceless. "My poor little boy..."
Taking a deep breath I asked her if it could be true her poor little boy was abused in his childhood, beaten up severely.
She started to sob and answered in the affirmative. "It was his uncle...Oh God...it was dire...He never forgot about this...Neither did we...It must have come back to his mind because of his fight with Dr. Chase."
Just because of me, I thought and swallowed.
"I don't want to leave him alone there, Ruth. So please, if you know where he might be, tell me."
She hesitated. "I'm almost sure he's in his father's fishing hut...He always hid there as a child..."
She told me how to get there. "Greg...I'm glad he found you", she said as we said goodbye. "And please visit us afterwards."
"That depends on him", I anserwed. "Maybe he just wants to go home."
"You're right", she sighed. "Good luck. I love you."

I looked at the phone for a while when Foreman knocked at my door. "Come in!", I said. "Ah, Foreman...Could you please take Cameron and Chase in here?"
He nodded and three minutes later they all stood in my office looking at me expectantly. I told them what happened in a nutshell and that I now was off fetch some things to go to the airport.
Chase offered to drive me there and I gratefully accepted.

We didn't speak a word on the way to my appartment and I just dropped out for a few minutes to get some things. On our way to the airport Chase began to talk.
"I'm incredibly sorry...I didn't want that...."
"Well", I shrugged. "You couldn't expect that."
He concentrated on traffic and gnawed his lower lip. "I wish I could recover losses..."
I grinned grimly. "Just don't start to amass me again..."
He sighed. "House, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."
"And I don't want to know", I snapped and he fell silent.

It seemed to take ages, but finally we arrived at the airport. I thanked Chase and dropped out of the car. "That was a good start to wipe the slate clean", I told him and made my way to the terminals.
Thankfully I didn't have to wait long and I tried to get some sleep during the flight. This failed of course and I thought about some cases at hospital to distract me.

I almost ran out of the plane when we landed and headed for the car rental agency when I heard someone behind me. "Buon giorno, Dottore House!"
I turned and looked into Joey Arnello's smiling face.
"Uh....Mr. Arnello...what are you doing here?"
He grinned. "Ah...just handling any sort of business...and you?"
I told him where I wanted to go and he put his arm around my shoulder. "I'd be honoured to get you there. No need to rent a car."
"Really? But..."
"No but", he smiled. "Just this way, please."
He guided me to an already waiting limousine and the ride to the cottage was rather comfortable. I was offered Scotch which I thankfully downed.
The closer we approached the more snowy it became. I was glad I had coat and scarf and watched the twirling snowflakes and a landscape that looked as if covered with cotton candy.
An hour later I got out of the car and thanked Mr. Arnello who just waved with a smile.

The cottage was dark, but the SUV behind it told me James was here.
Unfortunately he wasn't in the cottage. Maybe he was for a stroll around the lakes.
It was snowing heavily and I had troubles to limp through the snow and approach the door. Ruth told me there was another key under a big stone next to the door - thank God it still was there.
I opened the door and entered a rather cosy cottage. My heart caused me a dragging pain when I saw his bag in the small hallway and I took my coat off.
Cosy it was - but cold. I lit a fire in the fireplace, percolated coffee and sat there for a while staring into the flames and warming my hands at the mug.
My thoughts circled and it felt hearttearing to know how lost Jim must feel. My poor beloved darling...
I rubbed my forehead and popped two pills, booted up his laptop and now am writing this...
I think I'll put on my jammies now and curl up in bed. I'm awfully tired and he's still not here. I'm sure he's out for a long walk to arrange his ideas and it would be stupid to go out and search him as I'm not street-smart here.

God, I'm longing for him. I'm silly enough to hug his shirt 'cause it smells of him. Think I'll take it to bed with me.

Please!

I know you'll soon be back.
Please, tell me something!
Just tell me you noticed me.
Please stop ignoring me!

You don't have to talk to me. I ask for nothing. Just a short note, please, that you noticed I'm here.

Pics

It's us...Taking someone not seriously as it seems.


It's him. Oh, I miss him!


It's me...three minutes ago...Foreman told me to show it here. He not only told me, he urged me to.

I hate this photo.

Nutty test

Yes, I did the same test...
And - oh wonder, I sound as if I am from Jersey....

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Northeast Judging by how you talk you are probably from north Jersey, New York City, Connecticut or Rhode Island. Chances are, if you are from New York City (and not those other places) people would probably be able to tell if they actually heard you speak.
Philadelphia
The Inland North
The Midland
The South
Boston
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

Hell could be a nicer place

Mood: shitty, distressed and clueless
Weather: rain
Drinking: yet another coffee
Eating: nothing
Listening to: still the rain on my window pane

Hell could be a nicer place than PPTH today.
Well, it's only hell for me, I suppose.

I feel hollow, look blank and I'm yearning for James.
Half an hour ago I stood on the balcony and tried to have a glimpse into his office.
"Huuuuun?", I called but just saw his door close. He or whoever it was went out to the hallway.

I tried several times to reach him this morning and what hurt most was that he finally lets his phone reject my number.
Everytime I tried to see him at his office he wasn't there and I'm really going mad by now.
Foreman was here a few minutes ago and asked me why I looked so shitty.
I told him about yesterday evening and he watched me thoughtfully for a while.
"But there must be something you've done. Otherwise he wouldn't act this way."
I shrugged and fought down a sob. God, I hated me for this weakness.
"I really can't remember anything. I didn't leave anything out, so what do you think?"
Foreman giggled. "I think it's obvious it's Dr. Wilson who wears the breeches in your relationship...God, I never imagined he'd play that tough."
"Great!", I mumbled. "Thanks for your support!"
Foreman patted my shoulder. "Just try to reach or see him again and again."

I nodded and turned to the file again. I just had to distract me. I was longing for James. I missed him so much. And I was scared to death he'd be tired of me.
All I wanted to do was hold him in my arms, kiss him, feel him. When I closed my eyes and imagined hard enough, I could almost feel his cheek close to mine.
It was harder than detox.
I haunted the hallways and peeped into every single room he could be in. No James.
When I met Cuddy she told me he was doing his clinic hours and asked me "Everything okay?"
I just grunted something inapprehensible and went to the bakery on the other side of the road. There I bought a croissant and at Starbucks I got him a Caramel Macchiato.
I hurried back and put it on his desk, accompanied by a note. ♥ Good morning, hun.♥ I miss you. Please talk to me. Greg xxx
Afterwards I went back to my office and waited, perking up my ears with the hope I could hear him coming back.
When I thought I heard his door I hopped out of my seat and almost ran into his office.
Bootless.
He wasn't there anymore. Coffee and croissant still were on the table and I collapsed back upon myself.

It was unbearable. Every inch of me yearned for him and it felt as if my heart was torn apart.
When I left his office I met Dr. Danby.
"Good morning, Dr. House!", he greeted me.
"Morning", I mumbled.
"You look ill....is everything okay with you?"
"Mhmmm... You know where Dr. Wilson is?"
Danby nodded. "He's at university, there's a lecture. He'll be back for lunch I think."
I sighed. "For lunch, okay...maybe I'll be able to talk to him then."
"Um...he already announced a meeting for lunch...If it's not put off."
I stared at him. "Did he?"
"Yes. Do you need a consultation?"
With a sigh I nodded. "Maybe. I have a new patient and I'm almost sure he has colorectal cancer..."
"Fine, I'll be with you in five minutes!"
I nodded and went back into my office.

I dropped into my leatherchair and buried my face in my hands. What on earth had I done? Why was he avoiding me? It was quite obvious he didn't want to talk to me. He didn't even want to see me.
Five minutes later Danby knocked at my door.
"Come in", I said and tried to keep a stiff upper lip.
He entered with two big mugs of coffee and sat down on the sofa. I joined him with the file.
"Here he is...bloody stools, rectal bleeding, stools with mucus, unexplained weight loss. Asthenia,anemia with symptoms such as dizziness, malaise and palpitations..."
He nodded and looked through the file. "Really sounds like colorectal cancer..."
"Cameron already did a complete blood picture...this confirmed the low hemoglobin level. Chase did the DRE...", I giggled, "...but didn't find any abnormal areas. So I'd say it's DCBE now."
Danby nodded. "This and a PET...I'll do that right away."
I nodded, sipped at my coffee and rubbed my forehead.
"You don't look well...", Danby began.
I shortly buried my face in my hands. "I'm fine..."
"Sure you are." He pointed at my ring. "Some domestic quarrel?"
I sighed and looked out of the window. "Seems so...but I don't know why..."
"Does your wife work here, too?", he asked. "Maybe you should try to see her..."
I laughed haplessly. "It is no wife...it's a husband...And yes, he works here. It's Dr. Wilson."
"Oh", he just said. "I didn't know that. Do you know each other for long now?"
I nodded. "10 years, 2 months, 6 days and...", I looked at my watch, "...16 hours."
"16 hours....erm...okay...you know each other quite well then."
I shrugged. "But I don't have a clue what's going on..."
"And I see you feel really shitty...Well, Dr. Wilson seemed a bit odd today, too...Maybe you'll be able to talk to him when he comes back."
"I hope so", I said and suddenly my walls crumbled and I started to sob my soul out.
Poor Danby.
He patted my back and I excused. "God...this is embarassing...I'm sorry...."
"Just plain", he said and handed me another coffee.

What on earth happened?

Mood: miserable
Weather: fog and drizzle, 47°F
Drinking: my first coffee today
Eating: nothing
Listening to: the rain on my window pane

It's 10 am and I'm already for two hours at PPTH.
Foreman has percolated coffee and I'm sitting at my desk trying to concentrate on the file I got this morning. I'm sure this guy has colorectal cancer...Maybe I can consult Jim later that day.

I'm still not sure what actually happened yesterday. The evening began perfectly normal.
We went home, made ourselves comfortable and I was rummaging for coffee. Our stock was running out and so I took my coat and went to the small shop down the road.
Well, I met Susan there but we merely had a conversation and it didn't affect James.
I came back with 4 packages of coffee and James started to percolate some.
Well, I decided to put on my jammies, James did the same and we curled up on the sofa with chocolate, crisps and coffee.

Perfectly normal and it looked set to become a very cosy evening.
I wrapped in the blanket and leaned back snuggling my head into Jim's lap. He just sighed and tried to reach for the crisps, so I took the bowl and balanced it on my belly. James took a handful and when he crunched some crumbs fell into my eyes. I blinked, grinned and complained about that.
I not really complained, I just grinned about it but he stood up and sat down in the armchair. As I gathered some crumbs from the floor he muttered something about that he just cleaned up everything and sounded a bit pissy. I told him I didn't ask him to clean up and just got "You never ask!" shot in my face. I winced but then thought he still was in a bad mood because of Chase and my silly behaviour yesterday, sighed and curled up again.
"Won't you come back to me again?", I asked half an hour later and broke the silence. James shook his head. "Nope, you'll only get crumbs in your eyes." I stared at him with surely big and round eyes but he just fixed his eyes at the TV screen.
"What's wrong with you?", I asked but got no answer. I was concerned and tried to read his expression, but he revealed nothing.
So I wrapped myself closer into the blanket and suckled on a piece of chocolate with milkcreme, trying to find out what I might have done wrong.
Another half an hour later this became unbearable for me and I sat up.
"James, what's eating you? I can't remember I did anything wrong and this makes me feel..."
"Ah, it's always your feelings, huh? What about mine? Do you ever care about them?!" he interrupted me.
"But...", I began slightly flabbergasted, "...I asked you! Several times! Most of the time I can see what's going on with you but not today. So I asked."
He glared at me and I was taken aback.
"Okay...now it's Greg again who's to blame for everything that's wrong in the world...", I thought.
"And now don't look at me as if I'd blame you for something!", Jim snapped and stood up. I gasped.
"Hun, I...", I started but he went out to the balcony and closed the door.

I gazed a few seconds perplexedly at the door, then laid back and stared at the ceiling. What had I done? I couldn't remember anything that might have offended or hurt him. I'd never do anything that could hurt him.
After a while I slipped into my shoes and approached the balcony door. I was almost sure he smoked out there. I hate it.
I really hate it. It's suicide in installments and I don't want him to harm himself. I smelled the smoke and just asked "You know why they're called cancer sticks?"
"I'm not smoking", I heard him gnarl and hesitated for a while.
Then I knocked at the balcony door but he didn't react. He obviously didn't want me to join him there so I went back to the sofa and curled up again.
I thought and thought and thought, but still had no clue.

"Please, hun, tell me what I've done...Or tell me what happened...I have not the slightest clue."
Jim remained silent.
Three-quarters of an hour later I couldn't stand this any longer and stood up again. I saw Jim sitting on the balustrade - smoking. Hesitantly I knocked again but he just looked the other way.
I really became desperate and knocked again. No reaction.

So I curled up on the sofa again and broodingly fell asleep after all.

This morning I awoke shivering. It took a while until it came to my mind I was still on the sofa. The blanket lay on the floor and everything was dark.
I got up and rubbed my eyes. It was half past seven.
"Huuuun?", I called.
No answer.
I got up and looked into the bedroom. No James here and the bed was already made.
He wasn't in the bathroom, he was nowhere. He was already gone.
I shook my head to get it clear. If it was an emergency he would have left a note. And he wouldn't leave me on the sofa when he went to bed - normally.
I showered, brushed my teeth, dressed and was still thinking about what I did to upset him so much.
In the kitchen I shook the thermos flask - empty. I wasn't in the mood for having a coffee all alone at home, so I grabbed my bag, stepped outside and as it was raining I decided to take my car, not the bike.

Calming down

Whoosh, what a day...
We both calmed down by now.
And guess what?
Chase came in and brought us Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks.
We didn't say anything and glared at him, but when he left we started to grin.
The grin transformed into a giggle and the giggle turned into roaring laughter.
"We're such idiots!", James laughed. He brushed away some tears and tried to get earnest again. "Gosh, I still can't believe what he did to you and by now I don't even want to know if he meant what he said."
I shrugged and giggled into my Macchiato. "If he's beaten up by Cameron tomorrow he was serious..."
James snorted and we enjoyed our coffee.
Afterwards he showed me two photos he found on his hard drive. We both do not know how old they are and it's just me.

I'm sure I'm trying to be cute here. I surely wanted to get something from Jim.

By the way - we all three agreed not to tell anything to Cuddy.
That reminds me....we wanted to ask her if she's one of our witnesses at the Jewish ceremony at December 9. Hmmm...she still doesn't know we're already married, the bumf hasn't reached her by now.

Much ado about everything

Mood: close to beating Chase up (again)
Listening to: Atom Bomb - Fluke

Nervously I sneaked out of my office and felt like ascending the scaffold.
Jim's comment made it more than clear he was hopping mad.
But I still failed to see I was wrong. Well, maybe I wasn't right...But as I said - what would you have thought?

Hesitantly I knocked at his office door.
"Come in!" I heard him gnarl and swallowed before I entered the room.
I approached his desk and looked at my feet - I just didn't dare to meet his eyes.
"YOU MULISH BLOCKHEAD!!!" Jim yelled at me and I winced. I took a few steps back still not looking at him.
"Oh no...you'll stay here!", he said in a dangerously low voice and I heard him stand up. Again I swallowed and thought of something to say.
A few seconds later I saw his shiny black leather shoes appear before my sneakers and thumped my cane to the ground a few times.
"I'm sorry", I mumbled, "but what would you have thought in my place?"
"I would have thought that my husband loves me and really wanted to spend his lunchbreak with me", he softly said.
Before I could lift my eyes he took my face into his hands and kissed me feverishly, hustling me to the sofa. I stumbled backwards and was pushed into the cushions.
"I love you, Greg", he mumbled between two passionate kisses and I really didn't know what happened to me.
My desire for him washed away every reasonable thought I had in mind and I embraced him holding him close to me.
After a quarter of an hour of passionate kissing I managed to look into his face.
"Jim!", I gasped. "What the heck happened to you?"
He looked deranged and his chin was slightly swollen. I touched it lightly and he snuggled his cheek into my hand. This sight and the feel of his soft skin made my heart pound against my ribs and I had to swallow hard.
He looked into my eyes and sighed. "It's nothing..."
I sat up. "Nothing? It doesn't look like nothing. It looks as if someone hit your chin!"
He grinned ferociously. "But first I hit his stomach!"
"You had an affray?!"
Jim nodded grimly. "Chase...we collided in the hallway and I dragged him into my office. How dares he to touch you?! And to talk to you like he did?!"
I stared at him. "You hit him in his stomach and he hit your chin?"
James told me in brief what happened and I felt the anger rise in me.
"He'd better make his will!", I muttered betwen my teeth and arose.
Jim tried to hold me back. "Where are you going?"
I bent my head. "Hmmm...teaching Down Under hairwonder a little lesson..."
And off I was.

I limped down the hallway and headed for Chase's office. There he was, brooding over some tests I told them to do.
He startled as I came in without knocking. "House...er...I...."
I smashed my cane to his desk and his mug made a hop. "You little wombat! You dirty little bastard!"
He stood up, his back to the wall and stared at me.
"House...I'm sorry! I shouldn't have done that!"
I slid behind his desk and faced him. "What shouldn't you have done?", I asked silently.
He swallowed. "T..t..t..t...touch you...and say these things..."
This really reminded me of this Rocky Horror Picture Show song....know what I mean?
"I knew it was to much when you climbed out of your window...", he continued.
"But I'm not talking about that!", I told him.
All color vanished from his face. "God...", he whispered. "Wilson?"
"Of course I'm talking of Dr. Wilson!", I yelled and hit his shins with my cane.
He yowled and bent over to hold them. This was my chance to hit his neck with the side of my hand and I only heard a suffocated "Ouch!"
He looked up at me and I slapped his face.
I took a deep breath. "Okay...now we are even, I think. Wonderful day for a new start, eh?"
With these words I left his office and had to hold myself back not to run again into him and slam him down.

Slowly I went back to James' office and shook my head. What a day.... Beating up colleagues....

Back at my office

Mood: nervous
Drinking: yet another black coffee with sweetener (still no one replaced the sugar)
Eating: nothing - just gnawing my lower lip

Whoooooohooooo, I'm nervous.
Gaaawd, Jim's pissed.
I think he's hopping mad and I'm the cause of this (once again).

But be honest - what would you have thought?
Maybe he just should try to walk a while in my shoes.

You wouldn't imagine how fast I limped back here. People gave me odd side glances because I was in such a hurry.
Well, I must have been a sight for the gods...packed with laptop, files and my bag limping at a fast pace with my coat blowing behind me.

I just threw everything on my sofa here and am still trying to catch breath. I'm supposed to show up at his office now...
I'll better go.

Lunchbreak?

Mood: Huh?!
Drinking: Capri Sun
Listening to: people here outside
Eating: my black ballpen

I'm...
Well, I don't know what I am.
Or what I feel.
Therefore my mood is only described as Huh?!

Maybe I'm pissed.
Maybe I'm sad.
Maybe I'm still disgusted and now pissed.
Maybe I'm just a dumb dweeb.
But I can't help it.

I uploaded the new post to my blog and almost immediatley afterwards found out that Jim read it. Uh-oh, I thought, he'll sure want to talk about it after discussing the case. I wanted to wait until evening to tell him. Yeah, I know it was dumb then to publish it on my blog...No need to tell me.

I had a look at Jim's blog and spotted his new post. A photography of our new colleague Samuel Danby. First I just commented Yes, he's nice and thought of the bottle of Oban he handed me this morning. Then I had a second look and saw that Jim took this photo during his lunchbreak.
Well...I asked him if we had lunch together again today and he just told me he was 'busy'....So I went to the Chinese snack bar down the road with Foreman and had to pay for myself.
I'm not complaining about paying for myself!
I'm complaining about...well...I...
He said he was busy and seemed to have had a laid-back lunchbreak with Danby.
Thoughts were racing through my head and I felt...mulish.

So I phoned Jim and only barked "No need to come here, I'll figure that out alone!" into the phone, grabbed my coat, my bag, the file, the results and the laptop and went outside.
Now I'm at Community Park, Scotts Corner Road, watching passers-by and people walking their dogs, thinking about the case.
It seems to be Polycystic kidney disease - a progressive, genetic disorder of the kidneys.
Autosomal dominant PKD to be precise. This is the most common inherited form. Symptoms usually develop between the ages of 30 and 40 - my patient is 38, this fits. He has pain in the back and the sides (between the ribs and hips), and headaches.
Now I should ask one of the ducklings to strengthen my diagnosis by a family history of autosomal dominant PKD. We already know that there are cysts in other organs, but he'll get a CT scan as well.
If there's no family history, so what. In the absence of a family history of ADPKD, the presence of bilateral renal enlargement and cysts, with or without the presence of hepatic cysts, and the absence of other manifestations suggestive of a different renal cystic disease provide presumptive, but not definite, evidence for the diagnosis.

I think I'll phone them with my mobile and instruct them what to do.
I don't feel like going back to hospital now.

Strange way to apologize

Mood: sick and pissed and nononono
Weather: partly cloudy, 54°F
Listening to: Sick and tired - The Cardigans
Eating: Tiramisu (and no, I didn't steal it! It's mine!)
Drinking: black coffee with sweetener (sugar's out)

Strange, Monday was okay. Normally the week starts rotten, but it was really okay and Jim and me laughed our asses off because of Chase.
Foreman wasn't in the mood for laughing and I had to comfort him after we overheard the conversation between Chase and Jim.
It was a genuine stroke of genius when Jim decided to put depilatory cream into Chase's shower gel. Who thought he could be that mean? I'm still giggling when I think of it. I hope I don't have a bad influence on him...
Bloody hell! is still ringing in my ears and makes me laugh everytime I think of it. Isn't he sweet? He adamantly defends me.
Well, I'd do the very same.

I got a new case today - the guy is 38 and suffers from recurring urinary tract infections, hematuria (maybe due to the infections) and high blood pressure.
I already got something on my mind, but we'll have to check some other things before testing gets started. I want to know if he has aneurysms in his brain, somewhat abnormal heart valves and maybe diverticulosis. Would make things much easier.
Foreman and Cameron are checking this right now and I have not the slightest clue what Chase is doing.

He tried to offer an excuse to me yesterday, but failed to do so. Today he first avoided me and when I saw him I couldn't fight down the giggle which wanted to escape my mouth - it was too funny to think of the shower he had yesterday evening.

I was having a coffee and reading the file I mentioned above, when there was a hesitant knock at my door. I had the blends closed, so I didn't know who was outside - but of course I had a clue. Trying to put on an earnest expression I said "Come in!"
Chase entered my office and approached my desk. I didn't look up and pretended to be absorbed in the file.
"Erm...House?"
I looked up. "Hm?"
He clenched his hands and looked out of my window. "I...er...."
I sighed impatiently. "You what?"
Chase put his right hand in his neck and watched the ceiling. "I wanted to apologize..."
"Interesting...I thought you totally forgot about what you told me..."
He stepped behind me, opened the window and took a deep breath of cold November air.
I didn't turn to him and kept at reading the file.
After a while I heard that he closed the window again. He was still behind me and began to speak.
"Look...I....I didn't know what I said. I just wanted to annoy you..."
"Well done", I replied dryly and didn't want him to get off lightly.
He sighed and I wished he'd walk around the desk again. But he stood there and didn't seem to move.
I turned over another side and marked a few words when he suddenly began to amass my shoulders.
I grinned. "Well....if that's your apology I'll surely find some more misdeeds you have to make up for..." The truth was I felt quite uncomfortable, but thought that was silly.
"I'm really sorry", he continued. "I don't know how to make up for this..."
I pointed at my shoulderblade with my thumb. "Try it there."
So he carried on with kneading my shoulders and his thumbs pressed my shoulderblades.
I continued reading the file and sipped my coffee.
First I didn't notice the slight change and felt safe asking him for a Reuben sandwich. "Mhmmmm", he said, "of course. But afterwards."
I nodded. "Just go on..."
Then I noticed what had changed. This was no massage anymore. Sure enough he was caressing my shoulders and my neck.
"Okay!", I said. "The show is over. Stop this now."
His fingers ran through my hair. "I'm just trying to make up for the things I said."
I shook my head to get rid of his fingers there. "Strange way...The catch is that this is almost the same. Why don't you just go and look for Foreman or Cameron?"
He bent down and embraced me from behind. I stiffened and was unable to move as he drew me closer to his chest.
"Maybe I lied to Dr. Wilson", he whispered into my ear.
"Maybe you're a scumbag!", I replied and tried to get rid of his arms, but he only held me closer.
I raised hackles with disbelief and disgust as he kissed my neck and just hissed "Stop it!!!"
"I can't", he told me still close to my ear. "This smell is way too good..."
I closed my eyes and swallowed. This was mean. If he was pissed because of his shower gel he just could shout and yell, but not this.
"Maybe I meant every word I said...Maybe I still want these things...And maybe I locked the door 'cause I immediately want to start with some of these things..."
This was too much. It reminded me of Allenby and I just wanted to get out of here. I hit him with all my might with my elbow in his ribs or chest, I don't know.
He coughed and I quickly turned and escaped out of my window.

I climbed over the small wall and now was on Jim's balcony. Unfortunately he was not in his office, but his balcony door was open. I stepped inside and dropped to the sofa. There I took a few deep breaths, shortly hugged a cushion 'cause it smelled a bit of him and then went to the laboratory.
Foreman and Cameron were just finished with their tests and I wordlessly grabbed their results and hobbled away.
They both just shook their heads and shrugged.

When I came back, James was in his office and I asked him to talk the results over. He promised to be with me in a quarter of an hour and wanted to bring Danby with him.

Well, my office wasn't locked anymore and Chase was gone. So I tried to sit down in my leatherchair as calm as I could and looked over the results. Jim and Danby will be here in five minutes.

Some more photos

Elleth wanted to see more - so here we go.

Here's James with his Wait a minute - WHAT did he say to you???!!!-expression:


James at work:


Still at work:


Jimmy and me at the cafeteria:


Having a small break looking at some blogs. Chase seems to be up to smash my head...


Hmmmmmmm?


Sun bursting through:


Me lurking at the corner trying to sneak out...


Chase's second try to apologize:

This is getting personal now

How embarassing...
This photo must be...about...erm...three years old...
Amazing...

Don't ask me what I do there.
I have no clue.

A few photos...and one animation...

Hehe...A few photos. Some of them brandnew.

Jimmy outside PPTH:



Jimmy and me at my Hondaaaa:



This is his Oh please don't let him do it!-look



Is that a camera you have there?



Waiting with Foreman to sneak off to the balcony. This morning, approximately 10 minutes to 10am...



Comforting Foreman after we overheard the...interview:



Chase is trying to apologize:



James catched me working - really!



Now I noticed him:



Best thing ever! I laughed my ass off! Jimmy grabbed my ass in the elevator and afterwards noticed Cuddy was behind us. Thank God there are cameras in some of the elevators, huh? I just had to make that little animation...

This one's for you, Jimmy!

This can't be true

...are we hunted by camera-swaying zombies?
I spotted this at Ery's LiveJournal:

I really did this! And I did this long before I told Jim or even myself...it's so silly! And someone took a photograph of me doing it! Oh Gawd!
Now I tend to believe Foreman's story of that other photograph...I'm sure it's not just a rumor... Oh Goodness, I hope it never ever turns up here!

Lexapro isn't much good as a sweetener

Mood: innocent
Weather: foggy, about 50°F
Listening to: Cuddy - or pretending to
Eating: nuthin, but I'll see if anyone has breakfast here
Drinking: coffee, black and sweet and hot - yummy

PPTH has us back.
Isn't it amazing how time flies when you're having fun, enjoying something very much and so?
I'm sure this rotten week will pass at a snail's pace.

But maybe it's not that rotten. I'm looking forward to 10 am and Chase's appointment with Jim. Well, he knows by now I wanted to lurk at the balcony and listen, but Jim told me he first shows Chase the empty balcony.
Afterwards I just have to sneak off to the balcony - and I think Foreman will accompany me. He's still pissy about what Chase told me I think.
Well,I hope Chase will get a nasty surprise...I'm still shuddering when I think of what he told me.
Hmmm...maybe I should tell you a bit about that...incident. So you might understand why Jimmy has the appointment with Down Under Hairwonder.

It was after his fourth or fifth Mojito at Hemingway's when we were (or should I say I was?) waiting for Foreman to arrive.
I wrote he told me I was 'fetching', didn't I? Well, that wasn't all he told me.
We both have a preference for crappy horror-movies and so he began totally harmless.
"I wish you'd drop by at my place so we could watch Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things, I Walked with a Zombie or Night of the Living Dead - the 1968-version...."
I snickered. "Hm...sounds good...Watching crappy B-Movies and eating Chinese takeout..."
At that time I still was surprised you actually can have fun being out with Chase.
He nodded. "We'd sit on my sofa and I could start doing things with you..."
I stopped sipping my Mojito. "Eh? Things?"
He turned to me and his grin became a quite obvious leer. "U-huuu! THINGS!"
He was twitting me...I hoped. His face came close to mine and he looked straight into my eyes. "Whoooooohoooo...those eyes...I'd like to make their vision blurr!"
I flinched. "Too much Vicodin might have that effect...."
Chase ran his fingers through his hair and licked his lips - that made me feel more than uncomfortable. Maybe he really was just kidding and tried to alienate me, I thought and tried a grin.
He leaned forward and whispered into my ear. "I'd push you back in the cushions and kiss you 'till you nearly suffocate...And then I'd tear off your shirt letting the buttons fly away in any direction and then mob you."
This made me feel sick and I wanted to turn away, but he grabbed my collar and took my cane.
"No...don't shy away...." And he continued. I really can't repeat everything he told me. It still makes me feel sick and blush. Let me only tell you so much that it included 'taking me on the table', 'putting me on his hips and f*** me through the walls' and..erm...'f*** my brain out'. And that was the more harmless stuff!
Gawd, it was awful. Indescribably alarming.
Finally I managed to grab my cane and break away. I limped as fast as I could to the restrooms and locked me there for a while trying to think properly. Was that true? Did that happen? Where was my sarcasm when I really needed it? I think I was really...crying a bit, so don't laugh. I was really appalled and shaken to the core. When I came back, Chase was sipping his Mojito as if nothing ever happened and beamed at me. "Ah, shere you ah again!"
"And guess who's over there?" I said with relief.
"Huh?"
He looked over his shoulder and grinned broadly. "Fohmahn..."
I waved and yelled over the crowd. "Fooooremaaaaaaan!"
This was my chance to escape and that was exactly what I did.
It took quite a long time until I was able to tell Jim about this. And I just told him because I was forced to tell him - he thought I'd hide something.
Of course I hid this! Buah! Can you imagine just how embarassing this is?

Embarassing was what I did yesterday. But I'm not really responsible for this...
We've been lazy and spent half of Sunday in bed, the other half on the sofa - snuggling, cuddling, kissing, hugging, watching each other. Aaah...it was soooo wonderful.
I think about buying a cottage there 'cause I like the thought James told me at te beach he loves me. Well...it was spoilt by that daft thunder, but so what. He told me, that's what counts. Well, we'll see.
It was raining cats and dogs but suddenly I felt like having a stroll.
I stood up and fetched my coat. "I think I'll have a stroll..."
James looked up. "Now?!"
I nodded. "Mhm...I just fancy that now."
He hesitated. "May I join you?" he finally asked.
"That's exactly what I wanted to hear", I replied with a broad grin.
So he took his coat and I opened the door. "Ukk...look at that rain!"
Jim put his arm around my shoulder and suggested we could just head back to the living room and curl up on the sofa. But I really wanted to take a walk, so we stepped out in the rain.
Blame it on an overdose of love and happiness, but I felt like a child, leaned back my head, closed my eyes and opened my mouth to let it rain inside.
Suddenly I felt two arms around me pulling me close. "Oh my God, Greg...I could take you right now!", James whispered into my ear. (And I hope the mention of this satisfies those who wrote in their e-mails they wanted more sex here...)
I blushed. "Now? Here? In the middle of the street?"
James grinned. "Mmmmm...no. Maybe at the beach..."
I grinned back and shrugged. So we walked on and I took his hand. It felt so good. I still can't believe what has happened since I told him. Since I was forced to tell him...And I'm glad he forced me. Otherwise I'd still take Lexapro, I think, and go mad.
James put our hands in his coat pocket - it was rather cold - and we proceeded to the beach. It was raining heavily and we were the only strollers there. The thought of hot chocolate with whipped cream and rum came to my mind, but the café was closed. Due to the rotten weather, I suppose.
We strolled along the beach and reached 'Jim's log'. There we stopped and watched the sea. Jim was circling around himself in the rain and suddenly covered us both with his coat.
"I love you so much", he whispered and kissed me tenderly. I returned the kiss and felt my heart pounding - and beginning to race when he opened my belt and my trousers. He let his hand slip in and caressed me kissing my neck.
A moan escaped my mouth and he drew me closer. "Shall I stop?" he asked and I shook my head furiously. "Nonononononononono!"
I couldn't help laying down in the sand and pulling him with me.
"Please..." I managed to pant.
He looked around. "Impossible...what if someone approaches? This could cause us jail..."
I wasn't able to form coherent and reasonable thoughts, so I just repeated "Pleeeeeze!"
He shook his head and closed my trousers again. "Not here...don't be silly...Let's go back home."
"How long will this take?", I asked him while he helped me up.
"Five-minute-walk..."
"HURRY!", I exclaimed and began to hobble in our cottage's direction. Five minutes? That was close to an eon - I really couldn't wait anymore. God, I was addicted! I must be mad, I thought. It's raining, you're outside and you want him now? Here? At once?
I stopped. James stopped, too, and watched me puzzled.
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeze!", I whined and he dragged me to some bushes.
He softly pushed me down in the sands and covered us with his coat. And yes, I got what I wanted.
Afterwards my leg hurt like hell, but I was contented and up in heaven. On our way back I fumbled in my coat pocket for my Vicodin and found a glass of pills. So I took two of them and wondered why they didn't take away the pain. I felt funny and began to giggle.

"What's the matter with you?", Jim asked and gave me a sideglance.
I shrugged. "Dunno...the leg still hurts severely but everything's so funny!" Again I snickered and James grabbed the pills out of my pocket.
"This is no Vicodin...it's Lexapro...", he said with a frown.
"Ooooops!", I snickered. "I thought I handed them back to Foreman..."
He opened the door. "I'll take them..."
I managed to get out of my coat and went to search my Vicodin. Finally I found some pills on the commode (and really didn't know it was again the Lexapro) and took three of them.
"She pain shtill doeshnt go away..." I mumbled and made my way to the bathroom, laughing my ass off. I was already showering for about two or three minutes when I noticed I still wore my clothes. With a mad snicker I took them off and threw them in the bathtub.
I showered with loads of cedarwood showergel and wrapped into my bathrobe afterwards. James stepped into the bathroom and looked at the bathtub. "Aw, Greg!" I giggled again and he took care of my clothes shaking his head. "You're totally stoned!"
"Itsh nod my fauwlt...", I griped and proposed to prepare hot chocolate. Jim turned to me and smiled. "Great idea!"
So I made hot chocolate, whipped cream and poured rum into it. It smelled gorgeous and as I know Jim has a sweet tooth, I put sweetener in his mug.
Well, I thought it was sweetener...But it again was Lexapro...I'm so sorry!

"Hmmmm...this looks and smells good!", Jimmy said as he sat down next to me. "Almost as good as you", he added with a warm smile. I put my head on his shoulder and sipped my chocolate. He took his mug, took a sip and frowned. "Is it sweetened?"
I nodded. "Sure...it ish..."
"Hmmm...doesn't taste so..."
I grabbed another pill and with a light glonk! it slipped through the whipped cream into his chocolate.
He took another sip. "Shtrange...shtill doeshn't tashte shweet..."
Then he looked at me and leered. "But you look shweet!"
He downed his hot chocolate and pushed me into the pillows.
We had a very pleasant and a very odd evening. Both high on Lexapro, giggling, snorting and laughing our asses off. My leg of course still hurt like hell, but I was too absorbed in James and laughing to care much about it.

Surpriiiiiise!

We spent a wonderful day! Just us!
The rest of the family explored Point Pleasant and its surroundings so we could do everything we wanted to.
And be sure we did.

This evening we were invited to dinner at the seafood restaurant I embarassed James a few weeks ago. Rachel was feeling generous and told us they'd pay for Jim and me.

We were greeted by a grinning waitress who recognized us (of course James immediately blushed...) and were guided to a big round table.
My father chose a very good red wine and the babbling started once again.
The gears in my head moved and moved and moved and James just had to look at me and knew I was thinking of how to tell them.
He secretly squeezed my knee and we grinned at each other. "Are you waiting for the right moment?" he whispered to me.
I nodded slightly. "Mhm...I know you're a coward, so I'll have to be the one, right?"
He slapped my back and Rachel pointed at us with a broad grin. "Is that a pre-marital quarrel?" She winked and James tried to grin, too.
"Ah...erm...just some silly banter..."
My mom smiled at us and Rachel forgot about that 'pre-marital' thing because Sean was complaining about the menu. "They have no burgers here", he griped and she tried to explain the secrets of fine food to him.
"Menace!", James hissed into my ear.
"Teeeaaaaase", I hissed back and we both giggled which earned us a fond smile of Ruth.

After the main course the conversation turned to our marriage and James began to shift uncomfortably in his chair. Everyone was excited and Ruth asked if we already met Sam at Boston.
"Um...yeeees...we met him this Tuesday..."
Ruth revealed that she hoped we'd consider a ceremony held by him after the civil registry marriage and asked me what I'd think about it.
"Would that be a problem for you, Greg?"
I pondered. "Erm...I...."
James took my hand and smiled at me and it was easy for me to decide.
"That's fairly easy", I smiled at Ruth. "I remember some words which hit the mark."
Then I turned to Jim and bemed at him. "Remember? Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.
And where you die, I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord do with me and more if anything but death parts you from me."
The whole family stared at me and Jim blinked back a few tears.
"So...if James wants to - why not? His God will be my God...", I smiled.

My father broke the silence and asked when they were supposed to be at the city hall that day in December.
I swallowed and felt James' eyes on me.
"Um...you don't have to show up there...", I began.
"Greg! You're impossible! Of course we will be there", my mom exclaimed. "We want to attend your marrage, you know?"
Now it was my turn to shift uncomfortably and James squeezed my hand.
I bit my lower lip and looked into seven expectant faces. I took a deep breath.
"But we are already married..."

Family ties

Mood: Heeeeeeeeeelp!!!
Weather: clear, 55°F
Eating: Toast
Drinking: Coffee

Pleeeeze help us!
They're still here!
They'll stay for another night!
D'oh!

Why are we always disturbed when we want to enjoy some days all on our own? Just we two. Just us. Honey-bunny and me. No one else.
Just remember Canada. It seemed to be a real vision. And? What happened?
Allenby was on his way, Cameron joined us and afterwards Chase and Foreman blew in. So much to that.
Of course I know they all came there to help me/us. But that doesn't make it better, hm?

And now this. It's a small honeymoon, but no one seems to care.
Oh, wait a minute. There might be a reason for it...
We didn't tell them so far.
Neither I nor Jim had the guts.
God, we really should do that soon. We could pretend we just waited for the right moment. And due to all that babbling yesterday evening we...simply forgot.

Yesterday evening poor Jimmy worked his ass off preparing the dinner. And I simply fell asleep on the armchair. I'm so sorry, hun. Next time please wake me up.
When I awoke everything was prepared and the turkey started to smell sweet.
"Uh?", I said and looked around. My neck was slightly uptight and I rubbed it.
James smiled at me. "Had a good night's rest?"
I blinked and it came to my mind that he prepared everything all alone.
"Aaw, hun...why didn't you wake me up?"
He stooped over me and kissed me tenderly. "You just looked too cute. At first I thought you'd pretend to get around cooking. But you breathed so steadily and didn't notice I took pictures of you. You were fast asleep."
I sat up. "You took pictures of me?"
A broad grin appeared on his face. "I did. And they're sooooo cute! You'll have to show them in your journal."
"I won't show them."
"Oh, you will", he grinned. "Because I want it. Just a small, small punishment..."
"Mnm", I just launched out and James kneaded my neck.
"Hmmmm.....this is good...", I sighed.
"There are two hours left before they'll arrive here", James whispered into my ear and then pulled me out of the armchair.

So...we had some snuggling in bed and I was totally contented and almost forgot about the fact our parents would soon arrive here.
After one and a half hour of snuggling and cuddling we both decided it was time to shower and dress up. James even tied...this is inescapable when he thinks of dressing up. I just chose a dark brown suit and my pink shirt. I hate ties when it's me who has to wear them. But with James they're incredibly sexy and it's fun and adorable to pull him closer with them.
"Hun?", he addressed me.
"Hm?" I looked up from buttoning up my shirt.
"It's Thanksgiving..."
I looked at him puzzled. "I know?"
He pointed at my shoes. "You know? Then quickly forget about these sneakers!"
I grinned. "Please?"
He smiled. "Please."
With a sigh I shrugged and rummaged my suitcase for dark brown leather shoes. Unfortunately I finally found them. Jim must have put them into the baggage.

"You look fabulous", James said and brushed a few nonexistent crumbs from my collar. I embraced him and held him close. "It's you who looks fabulous", I whispered into his ear and wanted to kiss him. But he put his finger on my mouth and shook his head.
"I know where this leads to...They'll be here in a few minutes."
"But...I just wanted to kiss you...", I griped.
His smile made my legs turn to jelly. "But I'd want more", he whispered and went into the living room.
I took a deep breath, shook my head, grinned and finally followed him.
"What about a sherry?", I asked him.
He nodded. "I hope I can bear this sober..."
I poured the sherry and looked out of the window. A Chevrolet Van came down the street and I froze.
"Jim? Is that your sister?"
He furrowed his brow and joined me at the window. His jaw dropped for a few seconds.
"Uhuuu....and Simon....and Sean...."
I stared outside. "This can't be true. I hope they didn't take Captain Ahab with them..."
James sighed. "I bet it was Mom's idea..."
The Van was followed by another car - our parents.
They all approached the door - Rachel was carrying something which looked like a giant cake and everyone else seemed to have some food, too - and I sighed deeply.
"Lasciate ogni speranza voi che entrate...", I turned to Jim and we opened the door before they could use the door bell.

I could not seperate the voices...it was one big "Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg, Jimmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, Hunnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, Dearyyyyyyyyyy"...
At once we were hugged by our mothers and mothers-in-law, patted on the shoulder by our (step)fathers and fathers-in-law, hugged by Rachel and Sean and nodded at by Simon. Rachel almost dropped the cake when she hugged Jim and me at the same time in one big embrace.
My Mom fumbled at my collar and smiled at me. "Greg, you look good. Engagement suits you. Doesn't it, John? Just look at him!"
My father just nodded and walked into the living room. "Nice cottage..."
It would be if we were alone...
It took quite a long time until all the hugging and patting ended and finally everyone sat down at the table.

Dinner was marvellous, Jim's an extraordinary cook. Most of the time I sat there quietly just following the conversation, only speaking if I was asked something.
Ruth found the idea of celebrating Thanksgiving at Point Pleasant simply "enchanting" and there was so much babbling we really forgot to tell them.
Following some odd traditions, after dinner our moms and Rachel did the dishes while Jim, Nathan, Dad, Butthead (i.e. Simon) and me smoked a cigar and downed several sherry.
Butthead talked about how happy Rachel was when she got the news about us after 'soooooo many years' and grinned into his glass. Suddenly my father took my arm and we both went outside the door. I was surprised but just looked into the sky and watched the stars. Dad looked at his cigar and began to speak.
"You always seemed so unhappy...you know?"
I shrugged.
"I'm glad this has changed. And I'm glad to see how happy he makes you."
He patted my shoulder and I looked at him in surprise.
"I'm not good at this, Greg. But I want to tell you that I love you and I'm proud of you."
I stared at him. "You..."
He nodded and kicked away a small stone. "I know it took me 47 years to tell you that. Better late than never! Huh?"
I couldn't help grinning and nodded. After a while we both laughed and shook our heads. Two pigheaded idiots...
He grinned and pointed behind him. "And your sweetie is great! I couldn't think of anyone better for you. I always liked him really much and now that I see you belong together, I love him, too."
I was speechless and just nodded.
"Let's not get too sentimental, hm?" Dad said. "Could do with a beer now."

We went inside again and I nestled on the sofa at Jim's side.
It felt so good being at his side, having his arm around my shoulder, holding his hand amidst our families. Amidst our family.

My revenge...

Revenge is sweet!
Yes!
Hun, this is the retribution for your misdeed.
If I have to show all the world how I look having a nap...I'll show this as well.
Do you remember that small black book, your jorunal?
Yes?
I found it once again.
And this was written by you somewhen in October:

I was standing on the balcony of my office and enjoyed the warm October sun while having my salad for lunch. My thoughts wandered to what happened during the last few days, all the kissing, the relief I felt when those words finally slipped out – I love you.

Sometimes I still can’t believe it all, but if I am dreaming it is a very very pleasant and long-lasting dream …two weeks now. It might not sound that long but as we both know each other by heart, it really is. It feels more than only two weeks, it feels like years, a decade or even longer.

My thinking was suddenly interrupted when Gregory stepped out on the adjacent balcony. “Aw, here you are!” he said and smiled at me. “I was looking for you, but couldn’t find you”, I replied and returned a warm smile.

“Clinic hours” he grunted and got over the little wall. He leaned for a second on his cane, then drew out his Vicodin bottle, popped one pill and dry-swallowed it. I raised an eyebrow “You could have also taken the longer way. Would have been better for your leg, you know?!” and I pointed on his leg.

“I could, but I don’t have time …”, “Why?” I asked him. Gregory made two steps towards me and I could feel his breath on my skin. A warm shiver ran down my spine and my stomach made several loops. “Because of that…” he whispered, put his arm around my neck, drew me closer and slightly brushed his tongue over my lips. I couldn’t avoid a deep sigh and opened my lips a bit.

His tongue parted my lips and I could feel the heat rising and returned his passionate kiss feverishly. My hands wandered to his hair, he pressed his body to mine and our bodies spoke the language everyone knows.

“Gaawd, James I want you” he murmured and pinned me against the wall. My body was aching of lust and desire and my mouth wandered to his ear, my tongue slipped over his earlobe and I whispered hoarsely “Not here, let us go inside”.

Without a word he went inside, limped to the door shut it and approached again. I’ve already closed the curtains and was about turning around when he embraced me from behind. A gasp slipped out of my mouth when he bit my neck with relish. He got rid off my coat and pulled my shirt out of my trousers, one hand slipped under my shirt and touched my skin. When he touched me it felt like fire and ice at the same time, I could hear my own panting when he opened my belt and softly pushed me forward.

My hands got hold at my desk and a silent scream of lust slipped out of me when our two bodies became one. Passion, love and lust ruled for the next minutes, hours, decades, eons – I really don’t know. Desire washed away thoughts, lust erased reality and our world exploded.

When I came back to earth again, I noticed Greg leaning on my shoulder and panting in my ear. My knees were like jelly and my breath was unsteady, I managed to turn my head and placed a tender kiss on his cheek “I love you, Greg”, I whispered. His embrace became closer “I love you, Jimmy”, he answered with a low voice.

He turned me around and kissed me gently, my hands caressed his hair and we both calmed down after a while.
“Do you know by now why I couldn’t take the long way?” he asked smilingly. I gave him a nudge and grinned “Yes I do”. Gregory replied that grin and we both rearranged our clothes.

“That’s what I call a satisfying lunch break”, Greg said and we both started to laugh.

HOT, hm?
I still have that photograph someone secretly took and mailed to me:

I know we are somehow both...embarrassed by this and I desperately hope you're not cross with me, darling.

Lullaby reloaded

Hmpf...I think I wasn't nice enough...
He wanted me to show the other picture - the openmouthed here!
Please pretend you didn't see it, okay?
Gosh...I almost think I can hear Foeman, Chase and Cameron laughing...

Lullaby

Isn't that mean?
Jim took a photograph of me while I was asleep on the armchair...
I'm really sorry, I didn't want to leave you alone working your ass off with that turkey, hun.
But was that necessary?
He urged me to put lyrics underneath it...

Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed

Wasn't there something?

Mood: Oops!

Um...yes...Happy Turkey Day!
Don't stuff your face too full with food, dear readers and stay at leat a piddling little bit sober.
It's Thanksgiving once again and we both totally forgot about it.
But surely we were reminded of that fact.
Not the way we would have wished to, but...at least reminded.

It was this very morning. We just got up, had breakfast and tried not to cuddle the whole time 'cause this caused a mess of toast-crumbs, butter, jam, peanut butter and so on at the table and our pajamas.
So I just buttered my toast and noticed Jim watching me.
Aaaaaah, my cuddly-wuddly cupcake! He's so sweeeet!

Absentminded he took a sip of his coffee and gazed at me.
"Is there something special we've planned for today?", he asked me.
"I don't know. Honey is empty, so we could try...", I began.
"Nah, I didn't mean that!", James cut me off with a sweet smile.
I shrugged and munched my toast. "Fhat day if it?" Mnch mnch mnch.
Jim frowned. "Ehm, must be Thursday, 23rd November. I have the feeling we've forgotten something."
"Hmmm, let me see...it is end of November, 'till X-mas there are still some weeks left", I said, still lazily munching my toast. But suddenly my eyes widened and my toast slipped out of my hand.
"What?!", Jim asked surprised.
"Oh my fucking God! It is Thanksgiving!", I exclaimed.

"Nooooo, this can't be ... this would mean our parents..." He stopped and gazed into thin air for a few seconds.
"Oh my God, Greg, you are right!", he then whispered and we both looked at each other in shock and disbelief.
"Did you...?", he began.
I shook my head. "You..?"
He answered in the negative.
FUCK!
Long is the way, and hard, that out of hell leads up to light.

James stood up and walked through the kitchen like a hospitalized tiger in his cage.
"So what will we do now? They will be in Princeton...", he checked his watch and looked like a lovely little fraggle in despair, "in about five hours and we won't be at home."
I leaned back in my chair and pretended to ponder.
"We could ask Foreman to pin a note at the door 'House/Wilson moved to Europe!' or so?" (As I'm still angry with Chase I just thought of you again, Foreman - I'm sorry...)
James raised an eyebrow and didn't take me serious. "No good idea! Think about something else ..."
Why am I the only one who has to think about this?
He combed with his fingers through his hair and my heart jumped at this sight.
"Oh, you look so cute when you're doing this", I smiled at him and he concealed a grin.
"C'mon, just think!", he urged me.
Yay! Watch my transformation from sex-machine to thinking-machine...

I popped a Vicodin and sipped at my coffee.
"There are a few possibilities. First: We could move to Europe!"
James just rolled his eyes and didn't seem to be contented.
"Second: We could pretend having an emergency case in the hospital. What would mean we have to go there as well. Bad idea!", I continued and James nodded.
In the meantime he put his hands on his hips and I just wanted to get up and nearly suffocate him with a hug.
"Third: We could tell them the truth, that we have totally forgotten and got married without telling them!", I proposed with a smirk.
"Bad idea! Very bad one!", James cried.
"Or fourth: What about flying to Hawaii?" I smiled at him and waggled my eyebrows.
The thought of cocking a snook at our families suddenly was quite funny.

"All of them won't work they will find and kill us, I am pretty sure of that!"
James gnawed his lip and thought of other possibilities. I could see the little gears in his brain move. "Well there would be another option though...", he said unassertively, giving me an awkward side glance.
I pointed at him. "No, don't look at me like that. I know I'll hate your idea."
It was in vain...he approached and bent down to me, looking me straight in the eyes.
"We could invite them to come here..."
I pushed back my chair and stood up.
"I knew I'd hate it! This is our retreat, I... I don't want them here."

In that very second my mobile rang and I was love dazed enough not to have a look at the display.
"Yes? It's Dr. Wilson! With whom do I have the pleasure of speaking? Quick! Confess!"
James smiled at me and shook his head.
"Greg?! Is that you?!"
"Uh....hi, Mom!"
Rats! Why did I answer the phone?
James smile turned into a broad grin.
"You're sure you didn't take too many pills?"
"Mom...no...I didn't..."
She sighed. "Fine then...I think James will keep an eye on your Vicodin-consumption. But sweetie, Dad and I are about to leave here in two hours. When shall we be at your place?"
"Ehm..."
"Gregory House!"
Why was she pissed all over sudden?
"Mom?"
"You can't tell me you forgot about our visit?"
"Uh...erm...noooooo, of course not! But there's something we'll have to tell you...."
She sighed. "This is not true....is it? Don't tell me you already pushed him away!!! He's the best thing that could happen to you and if you really snafu that..."
"Mom, what are you talking about?"
Another sigh. This time it sounded relieved. "So he didn't leave you?"
I giggled. "No! He didn't leave me at all! Far from it!"
"Aaah, that sounds good, dear. You looked so sweet together..."
"Um...thanks...But I still have to tell you something. We're not at home."
"Yes, I thought you're working but I couldn't get through to you, so I phoned your mobile."
"No, we're not at PPTH..."
"..."
I waited.
"You're not at home at all?"
"Nope!"
"Where are you then?"
"Um...we're at Point Pleasant..."
"What on earth are you doing there?"
"Erm...just...sorta....getaway...We'll tell you when you're here. Could you please inform Ruth and Nathan as well?"
"Uhuuuh...fine...so we'll visit you there! Point Pleasant, nice."
We agreed to 5 pm and she hung up.

I lifted my eyes to meet Jim's. "You think we'll have to get dressed up?"
James rubbed his chin and nodded. "Of course. It's Thanksgiving. GOD! We'll have to go to the mall immediately! We need a turkey and all these things..."
I nodded. "I know", I sighed. "So...let's get dressed..."
But first we had a shower together which was a bit...prolonged.

Married - and it feels...heavenly!

Mood: Whooooooosh!
Weather: mostly clear, 42°F (here at Point Pleasant)
Listening to: James

I'm all smiles.
This happiness is a thing which cannot be described.

We arrived here at noon and we occupy the same cottage we rented some weeks ago. (The one with a certain bath-tub...)
As James told me he wanted to write about our evening (and I hope not our wedding night), I content myself with writing about today. (Well...maybe I'll write about our dinner and so on nevertheless.)

So far, we didn't tell anyone about our marriage. Only those who read our blogs know (and I'm sure our parents don't even know what a blog is) and of course Eric and Sam. Those two are awfully nice and we had a more than pleasant evening.
Eric invited us for dinner and as we wanted to pay the beverages, Samuel did so.

After we arrived here, we first arranged and had an hour or so of...snuggling. And I'm sure I remembered a whole lot of snuggling we had here and just didn't remember properly 'cause we've been drunk. (Correct me, James, if that isn't true.)
I ran the risk of drowning in Jim's eyes and we decided to get up and have a stroll on the beach.

It's a bit difficult to limp along the sands and after a while I sat down on a stump watching the sea.
James sat down beside me and looked at the waves. I gave him a side glance and was overwhelmed once more. He looks so good! He's handsome! He's beautiful! The wind blew through his hair and he just looked awesome.
He closed his eyes a few seconds and sighed. Still watching the sea he began: "I remember sitting here before..."
I turned my head. "Do you?" Of course I had a slight idea what he was thinking of, but I hid it behind a smirk.
He nodded and turned to me with a smile so tender it made my heart melt. "I listened to Daphne descends for hours at the cottage while you were asleep. And they kept telling me You love him, you love him and I knew they were right. GOD, I was longing to tell you at long last and was frightened to death. It made me sick and I had to go outside. I just had to leave you lying there fast asleep. Otherwise I would have covered you with kisses and undressed you no matter what you might have said..."
I swallowed and he brushed his forehead. "I was so scared. Scared of myself, scared to be rejected and scared of the future. I knew by then I wouldn't have the strength to endure that for much longer... So I went to the beach....and sat down here. Here where you finally found me..."
I looked at my shoes and drew spirals in the sand. "You cried", I said quietly. "And I was concerned about you....with no clue what was ailing you..."
At the same time we took each other's hand.
"That damn thunder", James continued. "It spoilt everything. I told you."
"You told me?"
James nodded and squeezed my hand. "I said 'Greg, I love you' and the thunder swallowed the last word...."
I drew him closer and kissed the corner of his mouth. We both closed our eyes and remained in that postition for some seconds. Then James held me close and kissed me with passion.

"Nooooo!", someone exclaimed. "Not these two again!"
We turned our heads and saw the married couple we met here last time...when we were lying in the sands because I stumbled over a piece of wood or something.
The woman waved and smiled and we both nodded with a wide grin.
I giggled. "At least he's right now...we're really getting down to the nitty-gritty now..."
James nudged my side and we walked back to our cottage.
Suddenly James hissed "It rubs the lotion on its skin!" and we both bursted into laughter. Poor Cameron. She was scared to death at that time.

In the meantime we both felt like lunch. We ended up at Europa South Restaurant, 521 Arnold Avenue. It advertised Portuguese, Spanish and sea Food and our stomachs told us to go there. They had nice wines!
Here it's me training my "Jiiim, hug meeeee"-look:

Bad quality photo...

...and I look sheepish...



This one's better...James "shot" it today:



Well, I look a bit disheveled though.

A feast for the eyes

Gaaawd!
I just checked my camera...and here's a pic of my newly-wed husband.
I recorded it yesterday evening...
I didn't use the photoflash, so it's a bit blurry...but!

This makes me go Rrroooooaaaaarrrr....

Back at NJ

....and hungry...
We're off to eat something now but first I want to show you what was sent to me.
Was that you, Chase??!!



If so, what about a new prostate check, hm?!
I'm well prepared!

You cannot escape LUPUS

God!
Does it bode ill when you can't get no sleep, watch breakfast TV and are lulled by a reportage on Lupus?

Today I join that life with yours

I still can't believe it.
I am so...I'm lost for words...I don't know how to express how I feel.
Words seem dull, numb and inappropriate.
But..I'll try.

I'm beaming with happiness!
I'm aglow with love,
I'm totally over the moon,
I'm where I belong.

Yes..that...somehow fits. I'm where I belong. Where I always wanted to be and where I always was meant to be.

It feels so aureate, awesome, excellent, brilliant...unearthly celestial...
But...as I told you...words are just not enough.

I was nervous and full of expectation, not quite sure what was awaiting me.
We tried and tried to calm each other down when I looked at the clock and noticed that there was only half an hour left and immidiately exclaimed that.
"Ooooooh my God, it’s only half an hour left 'till your cousin will pick us up!"
"NO!!!???", James cried out, but I just nodded.
I felt my heart beat fast and could feel it thumping in my throat, but I tried to ignore that and limped as fast as I could into the bedroom where I tucked away my tuxedo and was glad I was already showered.
James changed at the bathroom and I could hear him mumble something. I smiled and hurried to put on the tuxedo, fixed the cummerbund and put on my bow-tie. Taking a deep breath to calm me down I checked my hair. "C'mon, Greg, don't be shy, don't be frightened. You'll make it."
My hands trembled a bit and I looked at my reflection in the mirror.
Was that really me? I shook my head. If that tuxedo made me look acceptable, what would it make James look like? I swallowed at that thought and took the black cane I bought for that very special occasion.
"Are you reaaaaadyyyy?", I heard Jim shout.
"In a second!", I replied and took another deep breath. I could feel my heartbeat everywhere and had the impression my heart slopped over.
"I’ll go into the living room … may I?", James asked aloud.
"Fine!", I said and decided that it now was time to emerge from the bedroom.

James was standing there twicking at his tuxedo and cummerbund and first didn't hear me approach. There he was...my...starlight. I can't describe what he looked like. It made me speechless and I only gazed at him.
He looked up and his jaw dropped. For a while we couldn't do anything but staring at each other - then I finally managed to speak.
"Oh my fucking God! You look absolutely fantastic! Beautiful! Terrific!"
James swallowed and shut his mouth. "I can only reply this to you, Greg. You look – WOW!"
Again we stared and grinned.
"You even thought about using a black one!", James exclaimed and pointed at my cane.
I smiled and shrugged. "Well, just for you...just for you."
I had to blink back tears and looked at him when he whispered "But somethings missing.."
GOD, no! I thought. "What?! I..." I began and James approached with a smile that made my heart slop over again. He pinned a rosebud at my collar and kissed my cheek.
"Now it's perfect!"
I soooooo wanted to take him into my arms and kiss him, but somehow I didn't dare. He looked terrific, perfect, unearthly...
"May I kiss you?" I asked him awkwardly and drew him closer. His glance was answer enough so I chose to kiss him softly and full of tenderness. "Oh Lord, am I still on earth?" I asked myself and felt swept over by a shockingly intense wave of love.

A knock at the door brought us back to here and now and James cleared his throat and his eyes glistened.
"I think it is time now", he said and I just nodded. We both went to the door and James opened it for me. "After you, darling!"
I smiled at him shyly and stepped out.
Samuel, Jim's cousin (and rabbi), looked at us openmouthed.
"You both look terrific!", he exclaimed and I shot another foolish smile. James sighed "So...let's go then", and we went to the limousine.

I don't know what all those people thought wo gazed at us, but James looked awesome.
"God, you look so sexy with that cummerbund!", I whispered into his ear and he secretly grinned. "If you want I can wear it just for you this evening…" he whispered and I nodded furiously.
I wanted to cuddle him, to kiss him, to fondle his hair and dared nothing at all. Sam poured champagne and looked at us with a warm smile. "You marry into a great family, Greg!", I said to myself inwardly and we saluted.

When we arrived at the city hall, Eric was already waiting and opened the door of the car for us.
He stared at us and his jaw dropped. "You are a beautiful couple, you know?!"
I felt a bit sheepish and surely blushed looking at my shoes and shuffling my cane to the ground.
"God, you are nervous", Eric laughed and patted our shoulders.
"Of course we are!", I said (or grunted?) and James took my hand and caressed it.
"Shall we?"
God...his eyes...his smile...his beam...
I only nodded and we proceeded to the room where we already were expected.

We had to deal with some bumf and I felt like a child awaiting Santa Clause - it all took too long! I'm not good at waiting, especially if I really long for something.
Well...before I met James and fell in love with him I actually didn't know what longing was...
Some eras later the door opened and someone asked our names. We nodded and he waved us into the room.
There was Mr. Pollack, the Justice of Peace, and looked at us. He was personable with a black full beard and witty eyes behing round glasses.
Eric and Samuel followed us and we took a seat in front of him.

He began to speak.
"We are here today to witness and to celebrate the marriage of Gregory House and James Evan Wilson. They have invited me to lead their wedding ceremony, and for that, I thank them. We are gathered here in celebration to share the moment when two persons join together in the bonds of love, honor, respect and responsibility -- into the unity that is marriage."

The words sounded like a song and I told myself "No...it's true. You are here and that wonderful man at your side wants to marry you."
And that very man took my hand and made me feel whole.

"Today you declare the love and commitment you have expressed to each other many times before. Today, each of you declares for the whole world to see, that this other person has that special primary place in you life that can only be given to one other. You are not children. We are concerned here with something more beautiful than just romance. You two have decided to make the journey through life together and to help each other make as much of it as two unique individuals can."

James turned his head and looked at me and when our eyes met I felt miles away. We kept that eyecontanct and listened to Mr.Pollack continuing.
"Marriage is more than words or ceremony. It is a commitment to be reaffirmed each and every day. Happiness is the product of contentment that each has the strength to accept in their lives what can not be changed, and the love to change what can not be accepted. You can make your marriage a living thing. It will be you who begin every day making choices -- to express caring or avoiding it; to reveal love or to be too busy; to acknowledge respect and to take joy from one another or build walls -- and through those daily choices, to renew the wedding vows you will make today. It will be you, also who shapes what is possible for each other, allowing each other the space and the privacy to be unique individuals. When you follow the leading of your own personalities and talents, then each of you will have strength upon which both can depend. So it is that you come together, ready to give of yourselves and to accept each other, valuing each other's special gifts, prepared to work and to trust."
He cleared his throat and I heard Eric sob, fighting down my own tears.

"So, having considered alone and together this marriage, I now ask you, are you ready for your vows?", Mr. Pollack asked us.

I nodded and noticed Jim nodded, too. We still held our hands and I squeezed his lightly when he turned to me and began.
He took a deep, deep breath and tried to steady his voice.
"Gregory, our miracle lies in the path we have chosen together. I enter this marriage with you knowing that the true magic of love is not to avoid changes, but to navigate them successfully.
Let us commit to the miracle of making each day work - together."
His smile was smashing and finally a tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek.

I tried to speak, closed my eyes, opened them again and looked into his warm brown eyes.
"I used to be afraid of falling in love, of giving my heart away. How could I trust a man to love me, to give to me all that I wanted to give to him?
James, when I met you, I realized how much we could share together. You have renewed my life: Today I join that life with yours."

A tear now was rolling down Jim's cheek and we just gazed at each other and I couldn't take my glance away from him. Somewhere miles away a voice came through. It was Mr. Pollack asking James if he had a ring for me.
Sam patted Jim's shoulder and handed him the box with our rings. He pulled out the one for me and Mr. Pollack told him what to say to me.
James attached the ring to my trembling finger and said "I, James Evan take you Gregory to be my husband, and with this ring, I marry you and join my life to yours."

Samuel handed me the box and I put out Jim's ring. Mr. Pollack turned to me. "Would you put it on his finger and repeat after me: I, Gregory take you James Evan to be my husband, and with this ring, I marry you and join my life to yours."
I looked into James' eyes and spoke to him while attaching the ring to his finger.
"I, Gregory take you James Evan to be my husband, and with this ring, I marry you and join my life to yours."
We still held our hands when Mr. Pollack continued.
"May the love that you feel and share today continue to grow deeper and stronger all the days of your lives. Having declared yourselves to each other among your witnesses, you are now married."

The "witnesses" applauded us while we seemed to be unable to move and just looked into each other's eyes. I was so happy I thought my soul would burst (and I still am and think I'll never ever let that happiness go). Then James bent slightly forward and I drew him closer to kiss him and our lips met in a kiss so full of passion and love I never wanted it to stop and got lost in time and space.

After a while, a year or another stone-age we heard a silent giggle and parted with a blush. We looked at our hands, our rings and then lifted our eyes to each other.

"Married...", we whispered.

Another photo

...before we're off.
James took it last week and it matches his black and white shot.

The registrar again

Mood: still nervous but awfully happy
Weather: sunny, 36 °F (brrrrrr, still cold!)
Listening to: honey-toast quacking about the evening (he's so sweeeeeeeeet!)
Drinking: Soda

We're back!
We met Mr. Brown again at 3 pm and he handed us the marriage license.
Gawd, I still can't believe it!
And he wished us all the luck in the world - was really nice.

Afterwards we had a short ramble through the streets and came back a few minutes before it started to rain cats and dogs.
I stood at the window and looked outside watching the running and hiding passers-by and some runners being soaked. James embraced me from the behind and murmured "Reminds me of our first meeting..."
I leaned to his chest. "Mhmmm...it was raining heavily..."
"And I made stupid remarks on the weather", he sighed.
Covering his hands with mine I replied "I didn't think they were stupid. You were cute and I just had no clue what to tell you...so I chose being...sarcastic..."
James kissed my cheek and pulled me closer. We both closed our eyes for a while and just enjoyed each other. He always smells so good. It's Fahrenheit and something else, even better, what has to be just...him.
Slowly he turned me around and kissed me softly. It felt as if the ground beneath my feet disappeared and I sank into his arms. It's odd how weak you can feel and how good at the same time.
My heart's still pounding....Gosh!
I opened my eyes again and looked into his. Those brown and amber depths hypnotized me and I could do nothing else than gaze into them. Do I sound kitschy? I don't mind.
I always feel so secure, safe and at the same time lost when I look into his eyes.

I still can't believe what will happen so soon, what we'll be so soon.

Weather is nice again and the sky shows colors from deep blue to orange, yellow, gray and red and radiates somehow. We now will change (God! And I'm on tenterhooks what he will look like!) and in about half an hour Sam arrives to pick us up.

I'm nervous and happy and glad and dazed and over the moon and contented and all on edge and and and....

Trying to distract myself...

I fumbled with my camera and found a few photos from PPTH...
I'll show you and then we're off to the registrar once again.

He seems to be fond of me, hm?


In my office (and all that stuff and knick knack on my commode)


Good humored Honey-Bunny (watch out for pocket-protectors!)


Me at the balcony (Jim's balcony)


Me, my steel mug and...


It's getting dark and my luv's still at work (with a steel mug, too)


Um...well....And me and my prescription...

Boston again...

Mood: love dazed (and fucking nervous)
Weather: clear, 37 °F (brrrrr again...)
Listening to: Have I told you lately - Van Morrison
Drinking: coffee

Can't get no sleep.
After I fell asleep almost comatose yesterday evening, I woke up again at 3 am.
Now I sit here, clutch to my coffee, look outside the window and listen to Van Morrison. The album is Avalon Sunset - I bought it at Boston last Friday.

Yay! I'm nervous.
And happy.
And in love.
And perfectly happy!
And deeply in love!
And..babbling, hm?

... and they lived happily ever after.

GOD!

I already set the table and got us some croissants from the bakery around the corner. The suitcases are in the sitting room and I'm nervouuuuuuuus! You should see me...

And I was so foolish again yesterday afternoon. I went postal because of that one beer short of a sixpack postcard! Instead of asking James about it I asked Cameron to bring me home.
Then I lay here fretting, downing Scotch, having too much Vicodin and locking me into the bedroom. James somehow opened the door and managed to talk to me. Gawd, I was so mulish and he had to force my eyes open 'cause I didn't want to look at him....I can be so pigheaded - I'm sorry, hun.

Well, he finally convinced me. And we made a decision.
Jim held some conversations on the phone with Mr. Brown, his cousin Sam and Eric and clinched everything for today.
I booked a hotel room at Le Meridien downtown and tomorrow we'll be off to Point Pleasant for the rest of the week.
We have two appointments today...One at 3 pm, the other at 5 pm...

GOD!
I'm overwhelmed.

And I don't know how they knew this...but yesterday evening there was a present at the door. From my...friend Joey Arnello, you know?
Two brand-new tuxedos, tickets to Boston (flight with...Arnello Airlines at 10 am), an invitation to a special breakfast this morning at his restaurant, the hotel room already paid..and some other nice things...
We will be picked up by a limousine at 8:30 am.

I hear James moving in his sleep...
God, he's so cute.
He's beautiful.
Terrific!
Loveable!
I think I'll join him again...I'm in snuggling-mood.

Just look

...at this!
Isn't he...wonderful?

Oh my God!
I have really much to tell you, but this has to wait a while...
I'm...busy.

Monday Monday

Mood: crappy
Listening to: It's all over - Three Doors Down

I'm feeling crappy.
It's cold outside and gray, the trees are losing their leaves all over sudden and it's windy. The sky is gray, the streets are wet and gray and I'm moody, sad, anxious and...hm...pissed (?).

We started early today at 8:30 am. Well, early for me.
James insisted we had to 'cause we'll be leaving early tomorrow.
So I started with the new scan Foreman provided and came to the decision that it was cancer and the guy really had Zollinger-Ellison.

Then I mad my way to Cuddy's office, trying to avoid all those "Is that really true???"-askers crossing my way. This was so annoying! We talked to Foreman on Saturday evening and he told us that everyone at PPTH knows we're going to get married and that the ducklings were ambushed every once in a while by nosy colleagues. You can imagine I was pissed.
"Cuddy told Stacy, Stacy told a nurse, that nurse told it to a friend and so on", Foreman stated.
"Niccccceeee", I hissed. "I think I'll have a bone to pick with Cuddy when we're back."
James looked uncomfortable and we both imagined one half of PPTH ambushing me, the other half him.

As it still was early no one knocked at my door 'cause they all thought I was still at home. But the way to Lisa's office resembled a gauntlet and I grunted more than one curse. Dr. Leroy grabbed my arm when I tried to hobble out of his way and ignore him.
"Dr. House! Please....just a second!"
I rolled my eyes.
"WHAT?!"
He smiled at me. "Is that true? You're going to be married?"
I sighed. "Yes. Could you mind your own business now?"
He totally ignored that. "To Dr. Wilson???"
I nodded and he clapped his hands once. "HAH! I knew it! I always thought there was something going on between you two!"
"Interesting...", I mumbled and limped ahead.
He followed me. "Why on earth was he married three times to women?"
"Why on earth don't you just mind your own business?", I snapped and left him behind.

GOD, I hate it! And he wasn't the only one. I was asked by several people who otherwise seldom dared to approach me.
So I was really enraged when I entered Cuddy's office without knocking and pushing away her clerk.
"You blabber!", I yelled and let my fist stomp her desk.
She startled.
"Dr. House, are you mad?"
I gritted my teeth. "Not me...but the whole staff here is."
"What are you talking about?"
"Every single moron working here knows that James and I will be married next month!"
"Ah..."
"Ah! Yes! And just because you couldn't keep your trap shut!"
She blushed. "I'm sorry...I didn't think that through..."
"That costs you 3 weeks of clinic duty!"
"HOUSE!"
Without another word I left the office and glared at anyone who seemed to ponder asking me something. On my way back I spotted three nurses comforting another who was sobbing.
"But...aaaaaaaw, he's sooooo nice and I always thought he's straight..."
Yay, another one regretting Dr. Wilson wasn't fair game anymore...

I let myself drop into my chair and sipped on my coffe when there was a knock at the door.
"Hm?" I grunted.
It was Debbie. "Here's mail for you, Dr. House. And congrats!"
I just nodded and grabbed the envelope.
The handwriting was somehow familiar and I frowned. Included was a postcard and I thought for a second how dumb one must be to send a postcard in an envelope when I saw that the card was addressed to James.
It read:
Dear James,
thank you so much for this wonderful night.
I hope we will repeat this soon!
I snorted. Nice try, Allenby! Still eager to drive a wedge between us. I tore the card into little peaces and discarded them. I'd better keep this to myself, why bother James with such crap?

Five minutes later there was another knock and Debbie showed up again. "Sorry...forgot about this one!" She handed me another postcard and I thanked her with a nod.
It was a postcard from Canada and it was misleaded to me 'cause it was addressed to James.
Hey Jim!

I'm spending a few days at the Canadian Rockies.
Awesome here.
Read about your future plans in your blog.
You're sure you want to marry that nutbar? *g*

Daniel

P.S.: Remember our kiss?
Maybe we should meet before you get married.

I stared at the card. I knew he does not like me and calls me a nutbar and I wasn't pissed about that. What made me frown was the postscriptum.
Well, Jim told me about that kiss Saturday evening. It was years ago and resulted from a daft partygame. We had a severe brawl about it until he admitted it was just because of that daft game where you have to tell the truth or do something awful.
He chose doing something awful and had to kiss his fellow student Daniel.
I felt so foolish when he said that and so ashamed I went postal because of such peanuts.

And now? All over sudden I felt shitty.
I tried to tell myself it was a bad joke, just his manner.
But why didn't he send the card to our home?
He surely didn't want me to see it.
Was there more to it?
Did James lie to me?
I blinked and swallowed.
An awful wave of anxiety, suspiciousness, sadness and disappointment rushed over me and nearly swept me from my feet. I clung to my desk and tried to think properly.
Shook my head a few times, looked outside and tried to get rid of that gnawing feeling.
My leg began to hurt and I popped three pills.

Why?
What on earth did he imply with that?
A sudden nausea and a feeling of desolation came over me and I tried to fight down the sobbing.
I gazed into space and felt hollow.
I don't know how long I sat there like that when Cameron knocked at the door.
"Hm?", I answered and she came in.
"I just wanted to ask you about Mr...God, House! Is everything okay with you?"
I looked up and just stared at her.
"Do you hear me? Is everything okay?"
I swallowed. "Would you please drive me home?"
Cameron looked blank. "Um...yes....of course...."
I nodded and stood up with an effort. She supported my arm and seemed surprised I didn't sway her away.
"Are you ill?"
"I just...feel sick..."
We went to the underground garage where her car was and she promised to tell Cuddy.
"It is good you didn't want to drive yourself", she said.
I shrugged. "Well, I don't know if I come back to hospital, so James will need a car in the afternoon..."
We turned into my street and she stopped at my door. "Does he know you're not feeling well?", she asked me.
I shook my head. "No. Just hand him the car keys", I answered.
Then I saw the postcard I was still clutching. "Uh...and this...it was misleaded to me..."
She nodded and I walked to the door, lifted my hand and went inside.

Here I am now....still gazing into thin air and feeling crappy. My leg hurts like hell and I took too much Vicodin. I tried to banish the hollowness with a few Scotch but my thoughts are still circling.
I think I'll have a nap now. Just curl up in bed, forget about everything for an hour or so and then return to PPTH. Maybe Foreman will pick me up here.

Friday evening

Mood: pleased
Weather: overcast, 39°F (brrrr)
Listening to: Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz
Drinking: coffee (once again, hm?)

As I told you the restaurant was really fine.
Here we are at Kingfish Hall, dressed a bit more casual than we were attending the registrar:

Well, casual...James nearly always insists upon ties...
We look quite relieved, don't you think.
We looked a lot more troubled and concerned before we met the registrar.
This picture was recorded at city hall, before we had our appointment:

Erics good-luck-wishes and the encouraging text Rubenstein sent us didn't help much.
But yes, our mood changed rapidly.

After dinner we went back to Eric's penthouse which is quite luxurious I have to admit. We had a drink or two and all I wanted was to celebrate our progress with James in my very own and special way.
I was lucky - Eric announced he now was off for a date with some girl he's really interested in.
"Beverages are in the fridge and help yourself at the bar", he smiled.
Before he left he beckoned me.
"Hmmm?", I asked as I approached.
"Greg...take care of him..." he told me and I stared at him.
"He loves you madly", he continued, "...and I know it's the same with you. After all these broken and disastrous marriages he deserves being happy finally...for the rest of his life." He sighed. "And...he told me a bit about you...and...well, I think you deserve it, too, so...just take care of each other...." He swallowed and I blinked.
"Uh...yes...I...I will...I mean...we will. This is precious to me, you know?"
He patted my shoulder. "I know. So - have a nice evening!" He winked at me and left.

James overheard our conversation and looked at me blinking back a few tears.
"This..um...was nice..."
I shrugged uncomfortably 'cause I'm not used to being this emotional all of the time. I cleared my throat. "Yes. Where is his bar? I could do with Single Malt now."
James nodded to a davenport. "Over there. I'd like one, too...."
I poured two glasses of Ardbeg and regretted he only had tumblers. But beggars can't be choosers, eh?
We sat on the sofa side by side for a while sipping our malt when James suddenly looked up.
"Did I show you our room yet?"
I shook my head. "Nope..."
"Okay...up up, here we go!"
I follwed him through the hall to a door at the end of it and he opened it. I looked into a nice, comfortable and spacious room dominated by a big, fluffy bed.
James sat down on the bed and smiled. "Yipp, this is nice!" Then he patted the bed next to him. "Sit down....it's truely comfortable."
I sat down next to him. "Mhm. Nice. We'll sleep like a log here."
Suddenly he softly pushed me into the cushions and leaned over me. "And not only that", he smiled and slightly touched my lips with his, only hinting a kiss. I closed my eyes and felt my heart beat.
"What do you think of celebrating what we did today?" He kissed my forehead and slowly unbuttoned my shirt - when I opened my eyes again we both only wore boxers. (How the heck does he do this?) Well, these were soon gone, too, and Jim kissed me all over causing me to purr and pant.

We "celebrated" our progress several times...Only disturbed once by the door bell.
James hastened to put on his clothes and opened the door.
I heard a female voice asking something and was desperately longing for James, so I just yelled "Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun?"
"What?", I heard him shout in my direction.
"Is it important?"
"I'll be with you again in a few minutes", was his answer.
The visitor was a certain Shirley who wanted to meet Eric and she soon left the door again.
When James came back and put off his clothes he had a hard-on again and leered at me.
"Where was I when we were interrupted?"
I embraced him and kissed him passionately when he crawled into bed again. "Somewhere aboute here", I mumbled and we continued celebrating.

A few hours later we had a shower and searched for something to eat when I heard someone at the door.
"Hm? Did you hear that, too, Jim?"
He shook his head. "What?"
"There was someone at the door, I think."
"Hmmm...maybe someone left a message for Eric..."
I put on a bathrobe and peeped out of the door.
"Ooops!"
I bent down and reached for the bottle of champagn which was left there. There was a memo attached to it and I snickered when I came back with it.
James was already in our bedroom again. "What is it?" he shouted and I joined him swaying the bottle.
"Someone donated us this bottle of champagn..."
He looked surprised. "How do you know it's for us?"
I giggled. "There's a memo, see?"
"Read, please..."
I snorted with laughter. "Okay...let me see...For GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG, JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES and GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD! Enjoy your evening!"
"What???!!!" He grabbed the memo and blushed deeply, "Good Lord...this is so...embarassing!", and hid his face in the cushion.
I couldn't help the giggle escaping me. "It's NICE."
And with a popp! I opened the bottle and James discovered a new way of celebrating.

Having dinner at Boston

When we left the registrar's office I felt like in a soap-bubble.
Everything around me seemed to glisten in all of the colours of the rainbow and my feet seemed not to touch the ground.
It went well!
We did it!
We applied!
There'll be no problems!
Roughly three weeks left.
We'll have to show up there again tomorrow at 3 PM and will get our marriage license.
GOD!
I'm happy!
I'm jubilant!
I'm overjoyed!
I'm on top of the world!
I think now you got a clue how I feel.

I shook my head and fixed my glance on my feet to make sure I wasn't hovering around.
"Oh my God, we will be getting married!!!", I managed to say.
A fond glance from the side. James caressed my cheek and smiled. "Wanna chicken out?", he asked.
Again I shook my head, this time forcefully. "Of course NOT!"
I took him by his collar, drew him closer and kissed him softly, not caring about the fact we still were at city hall. Sparkles danced around me and I took him into my soap-bubble.
"Aaaaw, look...I'm sure they're getting married!", someone exclaimed and patted my shoulder. We did not pay attention to anything else than each other and smiled foolishly.
"Yah", James began hoarsly. "That convinced me..."
I hugged him and again we smiled at each other with some kind of dazed expression.
Simultaneously we took a deep breath and shook our heads.
"What about a ramble?", James proposed and I nodded.
So we made our way out of city hall and strolled (or limped) along the streets, haunting book- and record shops, eating ice cream and snogging indifferent to the passers-by. (And sometimes I wonder if he'd snog me in public at Plainsboro.)

Wide-eyed we stared at the books at Calamus Bookstore (whoosh...You know what kind of literature they're specializing in?) and James bought a copy of Yeats' poems at Barnes & Noble. I rummaged happily through King of Records Recycling Factory Junk Store and bought several CDs and platters.
At about 7 PM we met Eric at the station and he took us to Kingfish Hall, where we had a table reserved.

The restaurant itself reminded me of Disney-movies and I grinned. "Gosh, is that the set of Pirates of the Caribbean?", I asked and had a look around. It was nice though and I made myself at home on our table clutching to my Fino.
James nestled beside me and sipped his sherry. "Yeah...I'm waiting for Jack Sparrow to turn up", he grinned.
Eric sat down vis-à-vis and greeted us with his Campari.
"My...Greg...unbelievable!", he said with a broad smile.
I looked at him slightly perplexed. "Huh?"
The smile grew even broader. "You look happy! You smile and beam!"
James took my hand and fondly smiled at me.
"But...", I began still puzzled, "...what do you expect? Of course I'm happy! We'll be getting married!" I drooped the thought for a minute and suddenly cuddled James madly.
"GOD! Did you hear that?! We'll be getting married!!!"
"Ugh", James managed to launch out 'cause I hugged him a bit too close.
Eric snickered. "That's exactly what I meant. You are totally different from when you arrived here. I thought Gawd, he's grumpy! Poor James!"
I stared at him with big round eyes. "You did?" I'm used to people thinking of me as grumpy - well, I am grumpy - but thinking 'Poor Jimmy'?
"Yes, I did. But then, I thought, he's looking damn good!"
"You're playing me for a sucker...", I said and he laughed.
"Maybe a bit!"
James grinned and put his arm around my shoulder. "He is grumpy from time to time. But he's sweet and adorable and simply delightful and terrific!"
I blushed. "Take that 'grumpy' away and we're talking about you..."
Eric shook his head and smiled at us. "I'm glad Jimmy found the real thing at last."
He sipped his Campari. "You know, I always knew none of his marriages was a real love-match and I was a bit concerned about him. I began to ask myself if he's just gay and pretends to be not..."
James blushed deeply. "Eric!"
He shrugged. "What? I told you so on Wednesday. And always these longing looks when you told me about 'someone'...These marriages were bound to go down the drain."
I fumbled with my table napkin and swallowed. That was so...sweet!
We were interrupted by the waitress who brought us the menu.
"Did I get that right? Someone's getting married?", she beamed at us.
I just blushed but James nodded all smiles.
"You two?" she asked and nodded to us.
Again James nodded.
"Congrats!", she said with a radiant smile. "Good to know, so we'll offer you some champagne." With these words she left our table and I looked blank.
"Uh...did you expect so much...acceptance?" I asked Jim.
"Well...dunno...", he shrugged and Eric laughed.
"Hey! We're living in the 21st century!"

We drew our attention to the menue then. Eric chose New England Lobster Boil, while I decided to take Whole crispy red snapper and James fell for swordfish accompanied by feta cream cous cous, roasted eggplant, spun cucumber and so on.
Appetizers were Wood Grilled Tuna Sticks, Classic Olives Crab Cake and Trio of Skewers.
It was fabulous, we ordered a Red Shoulder Ranch Chardonnay,from Shafer's at Napa Valley 2004 and we had a really pleasant conversation. Eric turned out to be a sport and it was a nice evening.
After the meals we had the champagn and talked about all the world and his brother.

A test

I found that in honeybunny's blog and thought this test could be a good distraction from work.
And from the daft postcard I got...
So I just did it...

You are The Chariot

Triumph, Victory, Overcoming Obstacles.

The chariot is one of the most complex cards to define. On its most basic level, it implies war, a struggle, and an eventual, hard-won victory. Either over enemies, obstacles, nature, the beasts inside you, or to just get what you want. But there is a great deal more to it. The charioteer wears emblems of the sun, yet the sign behind this card is the moon. The chariot is all about motion, and yet it is often shown as stationary. It is a union of opposites, like the black and white steeds. They pull in different directions, but must be (and can be!) made to go together in one direction. Control is required over opposing emotions, wants, needs, people, circumstances; bring them together and give them a single direction, your direction. Confidence is also needed and, most especially, motivation. The card can, in fact, indicate new motivation or inspiration, which gets a stagnant situation moving again.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Cuuuuuute!

Isn't that lovely?
I spotted it at deviantArt:

Check out Ery-chan's gallery:
http://ery-chan.deviantart.com/

Flight to Boston

Mood: excited
Eating: Reuben Sandwich
Drinking: Coke

We're at Eric's appartment right now.
But from the beginning...

We just put our things in Jim's (boring) Volvo and started the engine when my mobile phone rang. I looked at the display - it was Cuddy. So I chose to ignore the call and rejected it.
I inserted the Killers album into the player, closed my eyes and relaxed.
"Who was that?", Jim asked as we left our street. (Our street! How does that sound, eh?)
I shrugged. "Dunno...there was no number...."
I felt his eyes on me and opened mine. "Don't you believe me?", I grinned.
He looked at me doubtfully. "Hmmmm....I'm not sure...."
"If it was something important, that person will call again, honey-toast", I smirked and he smiled.
"Honey-toast, huh?"
With a wink I asked "Would it be more convenient for you to be called Mr. or Dr. House?"
"Sounds good", he answered and concentrated on traffic. "But what about you being called Mr. or Dr. Wilson?"
"Ukk! Just think of all those poor patients who are told 'Your attending physician is Dr. Wilson', are incredibly relieved and enter examnination room just to face me!"
James laughed. "There's a point to that..."
I hummed When you were young and laid my head on his shoulder. "Does that annoy or distract you?"
Cuddly-bear lifted an eyebrow. "You are concerned if that bothers me?"
I just snuggled his shoulder with my cheek and didn't reply, so he placed a kiss on my head. "No, it doesn't annoy me. It feels...good. So - do as may best please you."
I was at one with the world and soon fell into a light slumber.

Just to be disturbed by my mobile again. I sighed and looked at the display.
"Who is it?"
"It's Cuddy...."
"Cuddy? But you told her we're on our way to Boston."
I smiled at him. "No...I didn't..."
He nearly ran a red light. "What?!"
"Watch out, hun..."
"I can't believe that...we skip work!" He brushed his eyebrows.
"Don't worry....I assigned the ducklings to tell her."
Then I answered the phone. "Cuddy?"
"House! Where are you? And where's Wilson?"
"Did no one tell you?" I replied with a counter question.
"Foreman told me you're off to the Boston registrar...."
"Well, we are."
"What the heck are you doing there?!"
"Um...what do you think we do? We'll apply for a marriage license."
"You do what??? So this was no joke? You meant business when you told that doctor you'd get married????"
James gave me a side glance 'cause he heard her yell.
I nodded.
"House?"
"Uh...I nodded...of course you couldn't see that..."
"You're not stoned, are you?"
"I'm perfectly clear. I meant business. Yes."
"Okay. Fine then. You should have told me. But...good luck!" A snicker. "And Mazl-tov to Wilson!"
We ended our conversation and James looked at me enquiringly. "Everything okay?"
I nodded. "I should tell you Mazl-tov!"
He grinned. "Is that true?"
"Mhmmmmm", I replied and just wanted to rest my head again at his shoulder when we arrived at the airport.

We fetched our things, checked in and embarked the plane. We had seats at the front and I made myself comfortable at the window.
"We will have to find a witness...", I began.
"No, I clinched that. Eric - the friend I met on Wednesday - lives there. He'll be our witness."
I stretched and smiled while buckling. "Fine...one problem less."
"We'll stay at his place tonight", James proceeded and buckled.
I looked up. "Huh?"
"We'll stay at his appartment for the night. We don't need a hotel."
"But I thought we'd just rent a room in a nice and comfortable hotel...", I kvetched.
James put his arm around my shoulder and nodded a 'Hello' to the air hostess who made sure everyone fastened his seat-belts. "You are bellyaching about the fact we won't have to pay a hotel room?" he grinned.
I let my lower lip stick out a bit and looked into his eyes.
"Ah, Greg...don't do that...It looks too cute!"
He bent over and kissed me, unaware of or insensible to the air hostess' staring.
"Mmmmmmmm", I launched out and when we parted I immediately stuck out my lower lip again.
"I'm not nagging because of that paying thingy...I'm grouching because....mnm...I thought of celebrating our decision and the first step to a future together..."
James slightly cuddled me. "But we can celebrate that, sweetie pie..." - I grinned - "...we'll have dinner at a nice restaurant, a drink or two at Eric's appartment and a nice conversation."
I raised one eyebrow. "That sounds good...But it's not what I had in mind..."
He gave me a smile which made my legs turn to jelly. "We'll see, hun...we'll see...."
"Whoosh", I said and took a deep breath. "O-kaaaay....we'll see...."

The plane took off and we were pressed into our seats. In an incredible speed the houses, streets and cars became smaller and smaller and after a while we were above the clouds. I sighed and looked out of the window.
"What's up?", James asked and again put his arm around me.
I turned to him. "I just can't believe we're doing this..."
He frowned. "Scared? Had second thoughts?"
I shook my head. "Of course not. I'm incredibly happy. And...I'm not used to this feeling..."
He looked into my eyes, smiled and then whispered into my ear "Better get used to it...I don't want to change it..."
Our kiss was disturbed by another stewardess who discreetly cleared her throat.
"Do the gentlemen wish anything to drink?"
I grinned. "Single Malt would be nice..."
James nudged my side. "No...what about coffee?"
"Mhm", I said and we ordered just coffee.
James watched me while I put sugar into my cup. "Hm?", I asked.
He smiled, shook his head and just replied nothing. I shrugged and looked out of the window again, sipping my coffee. The clouds looked like cotton candy.
James sighed and I turned my head. "Hm?" I asked again.
Just that smile, just that shaking his head. Then he closed his eyes, so I kept at watching the clouds. It's always strange when you think you'd just fall through them when they look so soft and fluffy.

The flight didn't last long and soon we disembarked at Boston Logan Airport. Of course we only had unchecked baggage and left the terminal at once.
I popped two Vicodin and looked around. "Do you spot him anywhere?" I didn't know that guy so it was of no use if I helped searching.
James craned his neck. "Yipp...over there, that tall guy with the black coat."
I grinned. "You don't mean my reflection in the mirror over there?"
"Naaah...look! Over there!"
I looked in the direction he pointed and saw Eric waving to us. He was tall, nice-looking and darkhaired.
We approached him and he very obligingly took my hand luggage. "You must be Gregory", he said with a smile and shook my hand.
I nodded. "Well spotted!"
James grinned and patted his shoulder. "Never mind, this is just his manner. I'm glad you meet him so soon."
Eric smirked. "Yepp, I didn't expect that so soon as we don't meet that often."
He secretly looked at my cane but of course I noticed. "Anything wrong?" I asked him.
"No, I just thought you'd better sit in the frontseat of my car", he prompted and we made our way to the car park.

Now we're at his appartment and will leave in about five minutes to the registrar's office. Eric booked a table at Kingfish Hall downtown, 188 South Marketplace, where we'll have dinner afterwards. Seems to be a nice place and they have their menue on the internet. I think I'll have Whole Crispy Red Snapper....

It's Boston

Mood: outta here!
Listening to: Hounds of Love - Kate Bush
Eating: Chupa Chup

Yes!
We're out!
On our way to the airport.
We'll keep the appointment with Boston's registrar.
I have to admit I didn't tell Cuddy anything - but James thinks so, otherwise he wouldn't escape PPTH with me now.
I told the ducklings to tell her we have to keep an important appointment if she asks for us.
(Well, we have to, huh?)
But first we go home to fetch our things and maybe we'll stay at Boston for the night. We'll see...

Boston?

Guess what?
my father phoned me.
Yes, he did.
He called on my mobile while we were on our way to Plainsboro.
And he told me if we don't want to wait and want to make sure we're really married, we should go to Massachusetts....
God, it's 265 miles to Boston...

Another e-mail

We are about to leave PPTH and head for Point Pleasant.
I just want to inform about the mail I got...
It's a creepy poem....
I......

Lick your lips,
Kiss your nose.
Breathing over your eyes,
As I head over to your ear.
Sliding my body onto yours gently.
Soft moans in your ear,
Whispering your name.

The passion,
The affection,
The meaning,
The adventure.
To see what I feel.
To succeed is to be there.
To become whole,
One.

No, I don't like it and I don't want stuff like that. Whoever it is: Stop sending e-mails!

Blood-vomiting patients

...are annoying.
Especially when they vomit all over my sports coat and make me change my clothes.

The case is interesting, however.
Patient is 28 and suffers from epigastric pain that goes away with consumption of food, hematemesis (to speak from my own experience), difficulty in eating and steatorrhea.
Cameron now tests the gastrin level, Chase is doing a secretin stimulation and calcium infusion test and Foreman was occupied with an abdominal CT scan.

I think it might be Zollinger-Ellison syndrome.
Well, I don't think, I'm quite sure.
I discussed this with James and we were handed the results of Foreman's scan:

Pancreatic cancer, for sure. Another evidence for Zollinger-Ellison.

We were busy studying the scan when I saw Stacy walking by from the corner of my eye.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door - Stacy.
We synchronously turned our heads and nodded.
Stacy came in and hesitated.
Synchronously again we both raised an eyebrow. "Hey, Stacy", I greeted her and James nodded and smiled.
"Um...hello...."
I waited a few minutes, but she just stared at us.
"What is on your mind?" I asked her.
"Um....", she began.
James put his hands on his hips. (He looks so cute when he does that!) "Everything alright, Stacy? Is there something wrong with Marc?"
She shook her head. "All's well...I...I just saw you standing there...."
I sighed. "Isn't that interesting? I bet you see us fairly often here!"
James pointed to the whiteboard where the scan was fixed. "We're discussing a scan. It's cancer."
She nodded and seemed a bit moony. "I just thought you looked so...close...Maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree...but...you seem really on intimate terms..."
She blushed and I knew she was highly embarassed.
I grinned. "Does that surprise you?"
James couldn't help smiling and seemed to gloat over Stacy's uneasiness.
She shook her head again. "As I know you are friends it should not surprise me. But this just looked different. You were always close and there were times I was even jealous in a silly way... but now you look...like....like you..." She took a deep breath. "I don't think we've been that close to each other, Gregory."
I shrugged. "Maybe you're right..."
James grinned at her. "What do you mean, Stacy?"
She examined her shoes. Uncomfortable high heels - as always. "You look like you belong together", she finally said and looked up to us.
James put his arm around my hip and I leaned against him.
"Well,..we do", he said.
She gasped. "You fool me, don't you?!"
"No", I said with a smile. "Didn't I tell you I'm gay?"
"This...it was meant as a joke!", she cried out.
I shook my head and put my arm around James' shoulder. "We are what you call a twosome."
She went pale. "My God...you're not kidding..."
"We're not. Not at all", James replied and placed a kiss on my temple.
"I...am happy for you", she just launched out and turned on her heels.
I looked at James. "Did that really surprise her?"
He grinned. "Seems so."
Then he grabbed my collar and pulled me closer to kiss me. Several passers-by stopped to look at us but we didn't care.
We smiled at each other and had to return to earth.
"So, how will you treat him?", James asked and nodded to the scan.
I shrugged. "If the gastrin level is increased and both the secretin stimulation test and the calcium infusion test are positive, there's no doubt it's Zollinger-Ellison... The tumor has to be removed and I think he'll need Proton pump inhibitors and H2 blockers to slow down acid secretion."
James nodded. "Omeprazole and lansoprazole?"
"Mhm...They also provide relief of abdominal pain and diarrhea."
"Fine", he smiled. "I'll pick you up in about twenty minutes at your office, okay?"

Anonymous e-mail

I don't know who sent me this one.
And why it's so dark around us.
Maybe it's evening and we're on the roof. Or balcony.

Flu shot and visitors from Japan

Mood: Who - me?
Weather: overcast, 61°F
Listening to: Personal Jesus - Marilyn Manson
Eating: Oreos
Drinking: coffee - what else?

One and a half hours and we're off.
I collected all the things needed and can't wait doing the thing properly. We'll apply for a marriage license at Point Pleasant this afternoon.
I gathered a copy of my birth certificate, state I.D., proof of my residency, my social security card and the $28 fee.
But - we still need a witness (18 years or older) who knows us both. I'm not sure if Jim knows that by now and if we ask someone at PPTH or just someone we meet at Point Pleasant.
Maybe just someone we meet...Or we could ask Cuddy. This would be fun!
I'll never understand why we need that witness just to apply for the certificate which allows us to get married within six months.
By the way there is a 72-hour waiting period before the license is issued. (The waiting period begins when the application is filed with the Local Registrar.) So we have to show up there again three days later (in our case on Monday) and then receive our certificate.
Isn't this all complex? I'm still shaking my head.

Did you get a flu shot already? I got mine this morning and feel a bit dizzy, but fine. Flu shot for clinic staff was scheduled only for today, so it's really crowded there by now.
I went with Chase this morning and we were the first two who got it. Well, Chase was first and afterwards it was my turn. He waited for me and wanted to go back to our offices as we had to discuss a case there.
"Psh", I said. "If we don't show up there now they'll think we still wait for the shot..."
Chase grinned. "There's a point to it..."
"Okay, let's play hooky!", I smirked and we made our way to cafeteria which wasn't open by then. Since there were only five minutes to wait we stood at the door and watched the people passing by.
"Look at all those morons", I muttered and pointed at some weird patients. "I'm glad there's no clinic duty today!"
Chase stared at a guy with a nail in his hand and nodded.

Suddenly a bunch of Japanese came down the hallway. They all looked the same and were accompanied by Dr. Leroy, head of radiology, who showed them around. Most of them were shooting with their video cameras and one took a picture of me and Chase waiting at the cafeteria. He tried to do that secretly and it looked so silly, I burst into laughter.
"Did you just see that? He took a photo of us! Wow, two real American doctors!"
Chase snorted and proposed we should ask him for a copy.
By then the cafeteria was opened and we bought candybars just to have a reason to hang out there a few minutes and watch the Japanese outside.
It was ridiculous. They took photographs of the walls, the stairs, peeped into cafetaria and took some more photographs and then lined up for a group portrait at the main door.
This was so much fun I forgot to ask Chase about Foreman. Crap!

It's us

Again at Point Pleasant.
I think it was the weekend with his colleagues.
Am I right?
We had a stroll at the beach when the others were fishing.

Point Pleasant

Just another photo Jim took there.
I'm looking forward to the afternoon.

To put one's money where one's mouth is

Mood: sweeeeeeeeeeet
Listening to: Sad Lisa - Cat Stevens
Drinking: yet another coffee (I'm a junkie!)

I almost forgot about that unpleasant evening now.
Remembrance drifts away and I hope I'll never see that nasty piece of work again.

Apparantly we found a 'replacement' for that dweeb formerly known as Louis Allenby. After lunch whe had an interview with Samuel Danby. He's from Oban, Scotland:

He is full-fledged with excellent references and certificates. (And I hope he'll provide us with Single Malt...) Besides that he seems to be nice and the interview was fun. I always like to test people's reactions and really relished that.
If everything goes well he'll take up employment next week. Cuddy has to agree of course.

After the interview I went back to my office and checked the symptoms of that obese guy again. Short thick neck, reduction in muscle tone of the soft palate, the uvula, and the pharynx. The upper airway is narrowed by enlarged tonsils and the patient suffers from hypoventilation, prolonged drowsiness, twitching, cyanosis, periodic breathing, secondary polycythemia (excessive red blood cells caused by low oxygen), and right sided heart failure.
Pickwickian Syndrome - of course. I was right.

I just told the ducklings what to do next when my phone rang. It was James.
"Hey, hun, how are the kids?" I asked with a grin.
"Um....erm...fine...I deliberate on a question."
"Ooooh, you deliberate on a question?"
He giggled. "Yes. Would it be possible for you to leave at 3 PM tomorrow?"
I checked my datebook. "No clinic duty, no nearly dying patient...I'd say it's possible."
"Fine!" he said and hung up.
Puzzled I looked at the handset. What was that?
I didn't have to ponder for long, 'cause a quarter of an hour later my door flung open and a beaming James entered my office. I looked at him from behind my desk and could not ask anything 'cause he immediately bent over the table and kissed me.
"Mrrrrmmmmmmmmmm", I launched out.
"What are you up to at December 9?", James asked me.
"Um....huh?"
He pulled me out of my chair and dragged me to the sofa where we sat down again. He pushed me back into the cushions and smiled at me.
"I just phoned the registrar of Point Pleasant..."
I just stared at him.
"He'll marry us on December 9th...We just have to show up at Point Pleasant tomorrow afternoon to deal with the bumf. Be sure to bring your identity card, certificate of birth and so on."
I had to brace myself not to break into song. So I just beamed at him.
"We...is that true?"
James nodded aglow with happiness and I was all smiles embracing him and holding him close.

I can't believe it.
We'll finally do it.
He really wants that.
I'm on top of the world and beam with pride and love.

Vogler in love, visitors from Trenton and other abominations

Mood: pondering
Weather: fog and mist, 57°F
Listening to: Word up - Korn
Eating: gingerbread
Drinking: coffee

Vogler's new whim is commenting on my blog.
Commenting in German. Isn't he odd?
Of course he is.
Odd and a good deal more.
Fat. Obese. Back-stabbing. Manky.
Just to mention some of his features.

He's even blogging in German. (I think because he met his new girlfriend at Munich.) I tried to comment in German and I hope I did it right. If not - so what?
He writes he's in love. Isn't that creepy? And he proposed a truce I didn't accept.
It's hideous he seems to blog at bog....

Hideous and sick-making was yesterday evening. I just thought of cooking something nice and planned to go to the mall when the door bell rang. "Rats! Do you expect anyone?" I asked Jim. He shook his head. "No?"
I shrugged and limped to the door. Maybe it was Foreman again.
When I opened I faced a man in his late thirties, wearing exactly the same suit as Mr. Monk.
I eyed him. "Well, it's not Salvation Army. Jehovah's Witnesses then?"
Mr. Monk smiled at me. "Dr. House?"
I nodded. "And I'll be damned if I know who you are!"
He shook hands with me. "Dr. Aaron Goldstein. Good evening."
I flinched. "Who says this evening is good? I told you I don't want to talk to you."
"And I told you if you won't visit us we would visit you!"
"Ah, get lost!"
In the meantime James joined me at the door. "I thought it was perfectly clear we didn't want to see you..."
Dr. Goldstein shrugged. "We just wanted to talk to Dr. House, not you. Please...Dr. Allenby is my patient and I am concerned about him. I really want to see how he reacts when you meet."
"He won't be able to react!", I snapped. "I'll knock him down as soon as he appears at this door!"
"But he's quiet and peaceful", Dr. Goldstein insisted. "And Dr. Cuddy said you'd be glad to help..."
James brushed his forehead. "Well...okay...come in. But just for a few minutes..."
Dr. Goldstein nodded to a Chrysler. "He's in the car..."
There he was, Louis Allenby. I saw him looking out of the window watching me carefully. The sight of him made me sick and I closed my eyes for a few seconds. I didn't want to appear weak, so I finally nodded.
"Okay then. If need be...Come in."
James put his arm around me and I felt secure. I just had the dire wish to pulpify Allenby's face.
Goldstein went to his car and opened the door. Allenby stepped out and smiled at me.
"Look out he doesn't escape!", I muttered and watched them approaching us.

We sat down in the sitting room and I didn't bother offering something to drink. But James did.
"Scotch please", I mumbled and James patted my shoulder. He poured himself a Guinness and handed 7up to Dr. Goldstein. Allenby didn't react and just stared at me.
"Can't you just stop that?", I spat at him.
Dr. Goldstein raised his eyebrows. "You are angry...."
I wheezed. "Of course I am! You do not seem to know what he did!"
"Of course I know. He tried to convince you of your love for him."
"Nice way to explain an abduction...", I rolled my eyes.
"He didn't seem to be quite all here", Goldstein proceeded.
James nestled beside me and put his arm around me again. "And you think we should be insensible to these facts and face him as if nothing ever happened?"
Goldstein put his fingertips together and leaned back in his chair. "No. But I was interested in his reaction. He keeps at asking for you, Dr. House."
"I don't care", I said and stared outside, avoiding Allenby's glance.
"I miss you", he suddenly said. "And I'm sorry..."
"Interesting", Dr. Goldstein said and watched him.
"You're sorry, huh?", I snapped. "You're insane! You stabbed James and hurt Chase."
"I didn't want them to keep me away from you."
'Able to explain his feelings and deeds' Dr. Goldstein scribbled into a small book and continued watching him.
"And it didn't cross your mind you harmed them?! You could have killed James!", I yelled at him.
"Sh, hun...", James tried to calm me down and softly kissed my cheek.
Allenby blinked and glared at him.
"Leave him alone!", he hissed and Goldstein hectically took notes.
"I'll never leave him alone", James calmly replied and met his glance.
"He's mine", Allenby insisted and I got up.
"See? It serves no purpose. You better leave now..."
"I won't leave", Allenby replied and Goldstein said nothing at all.
I pointed at Allenby. "Hellooooo? Goldstein? Can't you see it serves no purpose? I want you to leave now. Take him to your car and never ever come back again!"
"No...this is useful for my further work with him..."
I shook my head. "I'm at the end of my tether. Leave."
James arose and put his hand on my shoulder. "I really think you should leave now."
"Don't touch him!!!!", Allenby suddenly yelled, got to his feet and punched Jim in his side. Of course he hit the stab-wound, James choked and doubled over.
As a reflex action I hit him with my cane and caused another bruise on his temple.
"Don't you dare ever come near him again!", I hissed and glared at him.
Goldstein secured Allenby and seemed shocked.
"I...oh my God...I'm sorry...He really seemed to be peaceful..."
"He's a raving lunatic!", I gnarled and showed him the way to the door.
Without another word they both left and I turned to James and wanted to examine his wound.
"Are you okay?"
He nodded and gritted his teeth. "I'll have it checked tomorrow..."
I cursed and embraced him. "Lets forget about that", I whispered to him. "I'll go to the mall now and then I'll prepare dinner..."
James laid his hand on my neck, pulled me closer and kissed me. "I don't want you to leave now. What about delivery food?"

It's miiiiiine

You can't have it!

Cancer sticks

I destroyed them secretly....
And replaced them with silly chocolate cigarettes.
I'm looking forward to his facial expression when he discovers this.

I hardly slept this night 'cause James catched a cold and was snoring.
When he stopped he began to laugh and mumble.
Geez, he's so sweet!

Have to go now, but what about a small sneak preview?
We had visitors yesterday evening.
Visitors from Trenton.
And I was outraged.
(Well, I still am...)

That very special Hogmanay

Hogmanay 'cause that doctor we'll see tomorrow seems to be from Scotland, not Yorkshire.
It means:
That very special New Year's Eve
I found a picture of that evening...
Just wanted to show it here.

James seemed to be in a very good mood.

Off we go

Mood: investigative

We have a new case here...
But this will have to wait until tomorrow, I think.
It's OHS if you ask me, also called Pickwickian syndrome.
Gosh, this man is fat!
He's sleepy during daytime, had several smaller accidents at work, develops depressions and keeps on falling asleep. Besides that the Cyanosis makes it quite easy for me...

I'm just checking the letters of application of the two doctors James will meet tomorrow. Both sound good so far and I hope one of them will be replacing that dumbass Allenby.

Cuddy chose to be "funny" today and catched me with her camera when I was absconding from clinic duty:

HAHA!
For that matter...James and me made this photo when we had a few pints and thought about sending it to Julie or sticking it to the bulletin board at PPTH:

I think bulletin board will win the day....
Maybe I'll stick it on tomorrow morning.
You think this tuxedo will do?

Hm...and another news. I did it!
I bought it!
I didn't tell James so far, but maybe I'll call for it this evening.
It's a Honda CBR1000RR.
Geesh! I'm happy!

So now...off we go...home now.

Love dazed

Mood: mile high
Weather: overcast, 55°F
Listening to: Atom Bomb - Fluke
Drinking: laced coffee (psh!)
Eating: Chase's rice pudding

Gaaaaaawd!
I'm over the moon!
And I was so pissed yesterday afternoon.... we had a severe brawl and both acted like morons.
I was jealous of that San Francisco Lady and acted monosyllabic and foolish. I wanted to apologize when we were at home, but we ended up yelling at each other and I slammed the door in Jim's face and just disappeared for about an hour walking down the streets.
I wonder how James bears me...I'm a handful, I know.
While I was away he had a drink or two and even a cigarette. (I hate it when he smokes.) He read my blog and went mad on that anonymous commenter who calls himself "Bertie". He became jealous of him and so the brawl started over.
We are so dumb sometimes....
We started again and again and it took long 'til we both could laugh about it. I made it perfectly clear how I feel for him by softly pushing him into the cushions, starting to kiss him and open his shirt.
And guess what?
The doorbell rang.
We first thought of ignoring it but then there was this knocking at the door and we heard Foreman say "Helloooooo?"

So we both checked our apparel and opened the door just to face a very beaten looking Foreman.
"Hello, Dr. House, Dr. Wilson..." he began. "May I come in? I just need someone to talk to..."
He looked horrible and we waved him into the appartment. I think he shall decide for himself if he tells what was on his mind. But be sure he almost cried his eyes out. I provided Scotch, Guinness and Kilkenny and soon he was drunk and had to stay on our sofa.
James and I went to bed and cuddled, snuggled and snogged until we fell asleep...
Isn't making up always...nice?

When I awoke this morning and opened my eyes I straightly looked into Jim's eyes, who bent over me and caressed my cheek, hair and chest.
I can't think of any better way to wake up...
He started to kiss me and I couldn't help sighing his name. My heartbeat fastened and soon we forgot Foreman in the sitting room.
Gawd...I still smile broadly when I think of the morning.
And I was utterly surprised when I found out he wrote a poem about...well...it...
It brought all those feelings back to my mind, my legs went jelly, my thoughts went astray, my heart began to race and I just had to be with him right now.
So I left my office and made my way to his - He wasn't there.
I peeped into the cafeteria - still no James.
My last try was the roof. There he was, smoking (I hate this!) and humming My aphrodisiac is you by Katie Melua.
"Here you are! What are you doing up here?", I asked and looked at him.
"Just needed that one...", he answered and waved with the cigarette. (Cameron, if he asks for one don't hand them to him!)
I ignored his smoking and just murmured what I wanted to tell him. "I read your poem..."
James swallowed and slightly blushed. "And... do you like it?"
What should I say? "Yes" would be to flabby. There were no words that fit what I wanted to express so I just grabbed his collar. "I'll show you how I liked it!" I whispered and kissed him.
It was cold up there but we didn't bother. I wiped off his labcoat and unbuttoned his shirt while he unbuttoned mine and got rid of my sports coat. Fumbling at his belt the thought someone else could come up there never came to my mind and we got totally lost.

After we rearranged our clothes we made our way back down the stairs and went to that Italian restaurant around the corner. I could hardly resist taking his hand as we crossed the street and felt foolish, mile high and deeply in love. (I still do...I always do...)
I ordered a medium decanter of red wine for us both and Tagliatelle with porcini, James was still into lasagne. While having lunch he complained of all those idiots who applied for Allenby's position.
"Shall I join you for the last two interviews tomorrow?" I asked him playing with a mushroom.
He looked up. "Yes please...Gawd, I hope we soon will find someone..."
We mocked that Danny-DeVito-Guy and Miss Silicon and had a good time.
Afterwards we had half an hour left until another applicant arrived and sat down on the sofa in Jim's office.

I can't tell you how hard it is to resist him when he looks at me the way he does, smelling of Fahrenheit and James Evan Wilson, getting darkeyed again...
It's impossible. So I stood up, peeped at the floor, locked the door and turned to him again.
"What is this supposed to mean?" he asked and looked at me with a warm smile.
I didn't answer anything but hugged him closely and kissed him.
The Hmmmmmmmmmm escaping his mouth fueled my passion and I unbottened his shirt once again.
"Nice idea for a dessert...", James mumbled and once again we got lost in each other. I just can't get enough of him. And...I'm sorry to bother you, but I just had to write it down.

I still feel overwhelmed and no one is able to wipe that broad smile off my face. (But Cuddy didn't ask me again if I was stoned...) In my head songs like Edward Scissorhands are playing and I carry on annoying and scaring patients (yes, it's clinic duty again...) because it is FUN!
Can't wait to get home.
Maybe I'll cook something nice and buy a good bottle of barrique, lend a DVD and enjoy the coziness.

Moody

Mood: pissed, jealous for no reason and hungry
Weather: overcast
Listening to: Inside you - Godhead

I hate myself at that moment.
I'm acting like a complete idiot and I wonder how James bears with me.
Just because he said this doctor from San Francisco was nice and pretty I become scared!
Isn't this sappy?

But besides that, I really didn't like her. She seems to put more effort in buying shoes than being a doctor.
Miss Niminy-Piminy fed her eyes on James and did her best just to look pretty and charm him.
Excellent references? I don't give a shit.

Well, it's time to go home now. He'll see six more applicants tomorrow - maybe I'll join him.
I should offer an excuse to him now and stop being monosyllabic.
I'm sure he already wonders about my behavior.

Another stupid test

Trying to distract me from my pissy mood, I just finished another dumb test.

Take this quiz!

Annoying phone calls

I cannot believe it!
I'm really pissed!
Cuddy just put through a call to me.
It was a Dr. Goldstein from Ann Klein Forensic Psychiatric Hospital, Trenton.
Gawd, I'll need a really strong black coffee now!

"Is that Dr. Gregory House?", he asked as I just barked "House?!" into the handset.
"Yes, it is...And who's fazing me?"
"I'm Dr. Aaron Goldstein from Ann Klein Forensic Psychiatric Hospital at Trenton."
"I don't think I know you....I'm no psychiatrist, so I assume you just dialed the wrong number."
"No, I did not. Provided you are Dr. Gregory House at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, two different sub-specialties of Internal Medicine: Infectious Disease and Nephrology."
"Um...okay...What do you want?"
"I want you to visit Dr. Louis Allenby."
I nearly dropped my mug. "What?!"
"He's a patient here and keeps talking about you. You are the first he asks for every morning and the last before he falls asleep. Maybe it will help his convalescence if you visited him."
"No!"
"How can you know that? I'm just concerned about my patients and I really think..."
"NO! I won't visit him!"
"Dr. Cuddy said you'd be glad to help."
"Dr. Cuddy is a liar!" I snapped and hung up.

How could she?!
How dared she?!
Does she even know what he demands from me?
My smile vanished and I'm more than pissed.
I'll have to tell James.

High spirits

James invited me to join the interviews for Allenby's successor.
We had to take refuge to the staircase after the second applicant for work because we just laughed our asses off.
After I simmered down he took a photo of me.
Believe it or not - See me smiling!

No, I'm not stoned!
And yes - it still scares people around me.

Bored to death

...by clinic duty, so I secretly slipped out and returned to my office.
I just did this stupid test and found out I'm a banana bread...
I didn't know people actually enjoy my company.
There must be something wrong with the result.
(But yes! I AM a genius!)

Though you may be a sweet treat you are more complicated than you let on. Your ingredients are varied but they work well together. People enjoy being around you but most of them don't really understand you. Feel free to seek out those whose intellect is as great as yours but be patient with everyone else. After all, they may not know baking soda from soda pop but then you didn't when you started out either.
http://www.haveabanana.net/banana

Patients are going to die

Mood: bored
Weather: rainy
Listening to: When you were young - The Killers

Ah, I like this song! Lifts up my mood a bit - I'm totally and completely bored.
No tricky cases, just five dull hours of clinic duty.
I started work at about 9 AM, had a few breaks and am condemned to clinic duty for two more hours now.
That's hardly fair! But Cuddy just smiled and shook her breasts.

I didn't see much of the ducklings today due to clinic duty, but I'm anxious to know about the rest of their weekend.
Did I mention I'm on clinic duty?
No?
Well...I'm on clinic-duty!

Just now I think I could need another week off...
Cuddy looked at me distrustfully this morning.
"Are you stoned?", she asked me with a scrutinizing look.
"Huh?" I was surprised.
"Ah, c'mon, House! Just look at you!"
I shrugged. "I don't know what you want from me..."
"But...God, House. I really should take disciplinary action against you!"
I began to get angry. "Heck, Cuddy! What do you want?!"
"You keep on smiling, your eyes are cloudy and...your walk is a bit...strange."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not stoned! Want my pee in a tumbler?!"
She nodded. "Yes!"
"What?! You're not kidding?"
"No, and you better hurry!"
So I had to hand her a urine sample she had tested. No drugs! Of course!
Was there any excuse? No!
Just that:
"So you're not stoned and feeling well. I decided to clap two more hours of clinic duty on you...."
Great! Life hates me!

I had a couple of dumb patients this morning. Nothing spectacular. No one circumsized himself, no iPods in keiters, just runny noses, influenzal infection, common colds, headaches, pulled muscles and so on.

My personal highlight today was an outraged mother.
She accompanied her little boy who was approximately four years old and had a cold attended with fever.
She sobbed and watched me while I checked him.
"Will he die?"
I nodded. "For sure..." and looked into his throat.
"WAHAAAAAT?????" she cried.
With bored eyes I looked at her. "In about 70 or 80 years maybe..."
She fell silent and stared at me.
Then she began to yell at me. "Are you mad?! How can you tell me my son will die????"
I shrugged. "He will. We all will. You didn't ask me if I thought he was going to die soon..."
I scribbled a recipe and handed it to her.
She grabbed her boy and turned on her heels.

I think this will earn me another "date" with Cuddy, but I don't mind.

Oh what a night

Mood:: on top of the world
Weather: overcast, 54°F, but who cares?
Music: You give me something - James Morrison

Uh, I'm tired.
And wide awake.
And - I need coffee.
And I'm at one with the world.

It's clinic duty today - five abhorrent hours, but I don't care and think I look like the cat that got the cream.
Well....actually I got the cream.
Several times.
Oops, I'm equivocating...

James and I spent a very...pleasing afternoon, evening and night and I still can't believe that you can start the same thing time and time again with some variations not getting tired, not getting used to it and still wanting more.
But yes, it's possible. I'm dizzy. This is love and I'm in the thick of it. I feel a bit light in the head and can't stop that foolish grin.
Yah, I think that scares some people here at PPTH which makes me look even more like the cat who swallowed the canary.

We got up early today because James will resume work and was afraid of all the bumf waiting for him in his office.
I stayed in bed a few minutes longer and watched him as he very carefully made his way to the bathroom - couldn't help grinning. Finally I got up and percolated some coffee, replacing James in the bathroom afterwards.

When I came back to the kitchen, a cushion lay on my chair and James sat down carefully with his mug in his hand.
"Um...everything okay?", I asked.
He nodded and grunted. "Just..try yourself."
I grabbed a mug and sat down. "Hnnngh!"
"See?", he grinned. "We better take these cushions to work."
"Uhuuu", I just said.

This would be an interesting day...

I feel shitty

Mood: queasy
Weather: rainy and dark again
Music: Soundtrack of Oscar Wilde

Everything I try to eat is nauseating.
I feel sick and shitty.

All began so wunderful yesterday and I spoilt the day by being foolish.
Damn!
I'll never ever do that again.

After James signed the papers we got up and went to the lawyer - and had a test run with that Triumph Speedmaster (and I think I should test that Honda, too...) which was really fun.
Yes, I think I should get a bike.

Mr. Lowell, Julie's lawyer, is a true dumbass: unappealing and ugly. Furthermore he was up to asking stupid questions. "Looks like you, as well, have some future plans", he stated eyeing our rings. I couldn't help raising my eyebrow. "If so, it wouldn't be your business", I replied as kind as I could and he shifted in his chair.
James and he shook hands and off we went.
At the motorbike I turned around. "Sorry about that, what about an excuse coffee?"
James grinned. "Sounds good", and we drove out of town. I enjoyed bombing down the motorway and we had a really good time. In the afternoon, I regretted I had to bring back the bike.

Back at my appartment I percolated coffee and James provided for coziness lighting candles and so on. I let myself drop to the sofa and nestled at his side.
"I can't believe it. Two weeks, James..."
James smiled at me full of tenderness and nodded.
I leaned back and sighed. "We really can start...scheming..."
He grinned. "When do you want to get married?"
I shrugged, stood up and made my way to the kitchen pouring us some coffee. "As soon as possible."
"And rush into it?"
Handing him the mug I replied "I wouldn't call that rushing into a marriage when I had so many years to decide."
He smiled. "You have a point there."
I sat down beside him and asked "So...what about some internet research on...that topic?"
James shrugged and leaned back sipping his coffee. "If you want to..."
I blinked. "Of course I want to."
So I started searching for nice places at Point Pleasant (as we agreed to Point Pleasant) and soon noticed he was far, far away with his thoughts. I felt hurt and insecure and looked at him. "Do you regret asking me?"
He shook his head. "Of course not."
I still watched him. (Heck, I'm a handful! Hurt so easily of time.) "Are you sure you don't want to sneak out of the whole thing?"
Jim stared at me. "Damn sure! I love you!"
He stood up and left me alone sitting on the sofa in front of the laptop. I sighed and shut it down, hearing some rumaging in the bedroom.
He came back and I asked "What about just civil registry office? And afterwards a nice restaurant?"
He smiled at me. "Sounds good to me. I'm thinking of that restaurant we've been to..."
I nodded. "Mhmmmm...."
James dropped a small box. "Oops", I said, "you dropped something."

Suddenly he knelt down before me and I looked at him in surprise. "What...?"
He lifted his head, swallowed and looked into my eyes. Then he took my hand.
"Gregory..."
I stared at him and swallowed, too.
He opened the little box and I spotted a plain and beautiful ring.
"Do you want to be my man? Will you marry me?"
I blinked back tears and answered with a fading voice "I will..."
He beamed at me and took our first ring off to attach the new one to my finger. "I thought this one suits the purpose better..."
I bent forward and we kissed softly and inside of me a storm was raging.
A few minutes we just looked each other in the eyes, then I took his hand. "Please...sit down", I began and stood up.
It is creepy how we often seem to think the same...
I limped into the hall and fumbled at my coat pocket, grabbing another small box.
When I came back I knelt down on my good leg and smiled.
"James?"
He just stared at me and now it was his turn to blink back tears. "Mhmmm?"
"I....want to spend the rest of my life with you... And I never want to be without you again. James, will you marry me?"
He nodded and a single tear ran down his cheek. "I...I will..." and I attached the new and very similar ring to his finger.
We kissed again and snuggled on the sofa for almost an hour.
This was the wonderful part of the evening. I felt like in 7th heaven and seemed to levitate. We then decided to phone our parents and tell them which was not that wonderful. Ruth asked me time and again if I was circumsized and wanted to book a banquet hall and all such things.

Somewhere down the road we both signed in to MSN and had a pleasant conversation with Cameron, Foreman and Chase (whooosh, they'll have to tell us something..), laughing our asses off. It was awfully funny and we talked until morning. (Yes, we told them about our wedding plans.)

A few minutes before we went to bed I spoilt the evening....
I found a bag with an injection and mocked Ginger's fear of syringes. Then I examined it. "Is that ketamine?" (I'm used to ketamine and just wanted to joke...)
"Hmmmm", Jim answered and I injected the stuff into my arm.
"ARE YOU INSAAAAAAAANE???", Jim yelled at me and jumped to his feet. "How can you... you idiot, dumbass..."
I looked up. "What? Hey I am feeling good ...why did Allenby faint? I can feel...nuthin..."
James brushed his forehead and eyed me carefully. "That was morphine, not ketamine."
I felt a strange warmth rushing all over me. "Huuuh. Well...feeling a bit warm. Everyssiings abit dissy..." I mumbled.
James took my pulse and decided to bring me to bed.
"Ssooooo butifuuuul you are Dschimmyy...", I smiled at him and he grinned.
The rest can be read in his blog...
Well, I think I suddenly jumped up and ran to bed without my cane, yelling "Iminbedd!"
James was really sweet and patient, cradling me in his arms and smiling at my requests to 'shnugl'.

This morning it was totally different. He was absolutely pissed and angry with me. I tried to pronounce my words properly and angered him even more with my mumbling and my cloudy eyes. As I nestled to him he pushed me away and barked at me "First get a clear mind!"
"Mah mind ish cear..." I stated.
"Your eyes and tongue tell somehing else", he muttered.
"Ahm djust tired..."
"Liar!" he shouted and I backed. He stood up and prepared to go outside.
I grabbed his arm. "Pleeeeze stay with ma..."
He freed himself and answered nothing.
"Dshiiiiiim?" I yelled after him. "I rememba there was no kehdamin in da injection..."
"Would you please shut up!" James shouted over his shoulder.
I tapped into the kitchen and downed a cup of coffee. "Tastes like shit..."
I went back to the sofa and managed to ask James "Ahya pishd?"
"Why should I?", he answered ironically.
"Did not know it was morphine..."
"Clear your mind", he snapped again.
"Id's clear..."
"Sure!"
I looked at him wide-eyed and withdrew into sulking corner. "Ya todally pishd..."
"YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!!", he suddenly yelled at me.
I winced. "Don't yell pleeeze...I asked you if it was..keh...keda...kehdamine..."
"And if it would have been ketamine - it wouldnt change a thing!"
"I'm used to kehdamine..."
"You cannot just grab you shots and inject! You're used to Vicodin! And that's enough I think."
"That's what YOU think" I mummled which made him totally mad.
He went outside and slammed the door and I curled up on the sofa.
After a while I decided to hit the sack and vomited all over the bed three times.
It was awful.

Relaxing techniques

Mood: over the moon
Weather: dunno....didn't look outside
Music: Winter - Tori Amos

She's awfully good at the piano.
I mean Tori Amos.
That song is one of my favourites.

Well, today did not start that perfect. At half past three I heard a Beeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeep! and knew I had to show up at PPTH.
Some guy with a strange bleeding disorder. It turned out to be von Willebrand disease. (If you are interested: VWD results from a deficiency or defect in the body's ability to make von Willebrand factor, a protein that helps blood clot.)
We were only three - Chase didn't answer my call.
Well, actually we were only two, 'cause Foreman was totally jazzed and of no particular use. Secretly I hid a broad grin 'cause I had some ideas what could have happened to him.

When I came home, a very deranged Chase hugged James and I couldn't help grunting "Coming home, seeing you in the arms of another man is not the thing I thought of ..." I leaned at the open door and watched them.
James startled and they both turned to me.
"Greg! "You nearly caused me a heart attack!", James gasped and I just raised an eyebrow and looked at Chase.
"What the heck are you doing here? And why the hell didn't you respond to my calls or showed up at the clinic?", I snapped at him. Well, I had my ideas why...
Chase's skin turned to white like Lady D'Arbanville's and he stammered "I should go now!"
He turned on his heels and rushed out of the appartment as fast as he could without looking at me.
"You won't get away with that!", I shouted and grinned at Jim's giggle.

He told me about Chase's deplorable condition and what happened to him and Foreman. We had some cups of coffee and I felt really tired. So I stretched and went to bed in order to have a nap.

I just dozed away when I heard the door open and James came in. Somewhere far behind in my head I noticed he sat down on the bed and seemed to bend over me. He slowly started to undress me and kissed every inch of skin he laid open.
I opened my eyes and blinked. "Eh?"
James smiled at me and started leering. Hebegan to undress himself and I just stared at him.
I longed for him, that is true. The last time we...had sex was somewhen before Canada. And that was a puzzled thing 'cause I was jazzed by that thing Allenby did in my office. Afterwards there was his wound preventing us from getting too close and after a while Jim even avoided hugging 'cause he was afraid of the feelings this could arouse.

He laid down next to me and we looked each other in the eyes. "I love you", he whispered and caressed my chest. I just managed to say something like "Hnghrhmmmmmmmm" and closed my eyes when he bent over me and kissed me all over.
His fingers ran up my sides and I let out a deep sigh.
"You still like this, don't you?", he asked.
"Hm?" I asked and looked at him.
"You already liked that at that hotel", he smiled and I closed my eyes again.
"I'm sure I did. What a pity I can't remember anything..."
He kissed me until I was panting and then suddenly stood up and left the room.
I sat up and blinked again.
"James?"
No answer.
"James?! What the hell are you doing?!"
"Watching TiVo!" he yelled from the living-room.
"Are you mad?" I cried.
"No, just cautious...It was you who told me yesterday that sex was not good for the stitches and blah blah blah..."
I laid back and watched the ceiling. So this was his revenge. He was really pissed yesterday and felt rejected, I think. We had a short brawl on that and I convinced him I was just concerned and wanted him to recover soon.
I sighed. "Okay! We are even!" I shouted and closed my eyes again hoping to find some sleep.

The door opened again. "So you are tired...Maybe I can relax you a bit.."
I opened one eye and saw him standing there in his bathrobe. "Hm? What next?"
He opened the waistbelt and I sat up again.
James approached me and let the bathrobe slide over his shoulders and drop to the floor. I swallowed. "Please..we are even...Don't do that again..."
"Shhh", he softly hissed and put his finger on my mouth, gently pushing me back to bed. I wanted to say something, but was silenced by a kiss to remember.
Of course I immediately reacted and pulled him closer.
He kissed my neck and I caressed his back, getting high. I couldn't help moaning when he started to kiss me all over again and got totally carried away. "Don't go", I mumbled and suddenly he was sitting on me.
My eyes popped open and I stared into his leering face. "What about a ride?", he smiled and I just nodded.
"Hm?", he asked.
"Yes....", I replied. "Yesyesyesyesyesyes!"
Well...it was...just wonderful and didn't affect his wound...

We lay there cuddling and snuggling for a long time when James suddenly remembered the mail and got up to grab a letter. When he came back he showed it to me.
"It's from Julie's lawyer..."
I shrugged. "Surely some papers to sign..."
He nodded and I grabbed a candybar from the nightstand.
"Shall we open it?"
I munched. "Well...you'll have to..."
He opened it and read. His eyes widened and he gestured to me. "Hand me a pen, please...I want to sign..."
I handed him my fountain-pen and he immediately signed the papers.
When he looked up again he was beaming. "Wanna see what it is?"
"Sure!"
I reached for the papers and stared at them in disbelief.
"This...but...this is...um...pinch me!"
James smiled and pinched me.
"Hm...they are still there", I gasped. "But..this was quick..."
He kissed my cheek. "I think she wants to marry again soon..."

He just had to send back the papers and would be divorced. I let myself drop to the cushions again.
"This means...we...we can..."
"Scared?", he asked.
I shook my head. "No. Not at all. This means we eventually can start planning."
He nodded. "Maybe we should take the papers and hand them to the lawyer personally..."
"What about today?" I asked.

Cupid at work

Mood: cheerful
Weather: cloudy
Music: Silent all these years - Tori Amos

I just came home from Hemingway's and poured myself a pint of Kilkenny.
At about half past six PM I picked up Chase at his appartment.
Foreman pretended to relax on the sofa and waved a lazy goodbye.
"Have fun!", he grinned and I winked to him when we left the flat.
It was a damn challenge not to burst into laughter when I felt that pink cockring in my coat pocket (you can read this story in James' blog...), but I managed to stay serious.
"It is really nice to pick me up, House. You won't be able to drink", Chase beamed at me.
I shrugged and gave him my best smile. "De nada...You know, I've got an ill....friend at home. If he calls me because he's not feeling well I want to be able to get home as soon as I can."
Chase fumbled at his collar and cleared his throat. "Right", he said and fell silent. I gave him some side glances and tried to figure out what suddenly was wrong with him. After a while I shrugged and searched a parking lot.

As we entered the bar, Chase began "Um...what I said about Gil Grissom..."
"Hm?"
"Do you remember that?"
"No", I lied and grinned. I remembered perfectly well that he said Gil Grissom was "sweet". And when I mentioned he was too old, Chase stated he liked older men. Just to say quickly afterwards "But I don't go for men..."
Chase seemed relieved. "Okay...", he grinned. "Fine!"
We looked around for a table - it was as crowded as the last time. "Hmmm...shall we go to another place?" Chase asked and pointed to my leg.
And how will Foreman find us if we do?!
I shook my head. "Nah, I'm okay with standing for a while."
"You're sure?"
"Yeah", I nodded and made my way to a niched place near the bar.
Chase followed me and I ordered one Mojito and one soda.
"Cheers!" I grinned. "And...thanks for saving me..."
Chase blushed. "God, this was an awful situation...I'd rather forget about it."
"So do I", I sighed and we dropped the subject.

At half past seven there still was no Foreman in sight and I began to fear he'd chicken out of his promise. I tried to stay calm and we talked about B-Movies and laughed at some weirdly dressed morons who catwalked there. It is alway surprising how much fun going out with Chase can be.
He was well through his fourth Mojito when he was in this confessing mood again. I sipped my soda and noticed his stare.
"Ya know...You're really fetching..."
I shifted at the table. "You told me so the last time we've been here."
He nodded. "Yeah...Dshimm's a lucky bahstard..."
"So am I", I smiled.
He sighed. "Did Ah tell ya there's someone in our team..."
"You did", I interrupted him. "And guess who's over there?"
"Huh?"
He looked over his shoulder and grinned broadly. "Fohmahn..."
I waved and yelled over the crowd. "Fooooremaaaaaaan!"
He spotted us and pretended to be surprised. I noticed he was damn nervous as he approached us.
"I didn't know you'd meet here", he lied and I grinned.
Chase patted Foreman's shoulder. "Try that Mojito...it's great!"
He ordered two Mojitos actually - one for him and one for Chase. I still had my soda and secretly sent a text to James. "Phone me in about five minutes".
"What do you have in that bag?" I asked Foreman.
"Ah...just some strawberry-shampoo. I got it at the mall but I don't use it."
He looked at the bottle. "Robert, what about you? You use this, don't you?"
Chase nodded.
This was the moment my mobile was playing Teardrop by Massive Attack. I looked at the display. "Oh...this is James...Please excuse me for a minute."
I turned around.
"James? Are you okay?
...
Ah.
....
I see.
...
Yes, of course.
....
I'll be back home in a few minutes, dear."
Foreman and Chase watched me.
"Isn't he feeling well?"
I shrugged. "I'll better go home now. He feels dizzy and I want to be around, you know?"

Before I left I handed Chase the pink cockring without a word and off I went.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition

I love that ill-minded Monty Python sketch and showed it to Jim who keeps watching it.
Well...he told you what I did in his blog...And now I'm the nerd who knows the Inquisition sketch off by heart....
But I don't mind. I love it. And I'm good at faking an English accent.

I had to report to the Spanish Inquisition this forenoon....well....not exactly. But I had to go to the police station and tell them again what happened. I'm so sick and tired of this whole thing and wish I could just forget.
So I just had to laugh my ass off. Ta-daaaa!

We now go and fetch my car at the mall. I hope it did not start to walk around when I think of all that stuff in the trunk.

Bonds of friendship - bonds of love...

Mood: good humored
Weather: clear, 54°F
Music: Muzette 1 in A minor - Marin Marais (spooky)

During our discussion I felt fit only for a knacker's yard...just like my old black Chevy. But we are fine now. We've checked with each other and I felt really foolish.
We both excused and had a really fine dinner without prejudice I cooked.

I did the dishes while Jim was typing for his blog and afterwards sat down with a glass of Aberlour and started MSN.
Foreman was online and I grinned to James. "Shall I turn on him?"
He grinned. "Wait a minute!" and opened his messenger, too.
"Hello, Foreman!" I wrote and smirked.
"Hello, Dr. House...." was his answer and I started to tease him and pretended to be totally pissed and outraged. When he was about to resign from his job I stopped and we had a very interesting conversation about Foreman and his colleagues.
Well....one special colleague....
It was surprising how free spoken Foreman was about his feelings. But of course he tried to turn the tables and talk about me, trying to analyze my relationships to Stacy and James.
Well...I told him some truths (and by now I hope he forgot about it - Thank God James didn't read it...) and kept on analyzing him and I think I hit the bull's-eye. I gave him a piece of advice and I hope all will be well.
Chase joined our conversation after some time and then we all chose to watch CSI.
But foremost I arranged to meet Chase at Hemingway's tonight for some Mojitos to thank him. Well...maybe someone will join us and I'll be phoned by...lets say James, who wantsme to come home.

And maybe I won't even have to go at all....But I don't know.

Love and Death

James posted some poems, including his favorite Yeats-Poem, Cameron posted a song...I feel I have to follow the crowd.
So here's my favorite Yeats-Poem:

Love and Death

Behold the flashing waters
A cloven dancing jet,
That from the milk-white marble
For ever foam and fret;
Far off in drowsy valleys
Where the meadow saffrons blow,
The feet of summer dabble
In their coiling calm and slow.
The banks are worn forever
By a people sadly gay:
A Titan with loud laughter,
Made them of fire clay.
Go ask the springing flowers,
And the flowing air above,
What are the twin-born waters,
And they'll answer Death and Love.

With wreaths of withered flowers
Two lonely spirits wait
With wreaths of withered flowers
'Fore paradise's gate.
They may not pass the portal
Poor earth-enkindled pair,
Though sad is many a spirit
To pass and leave them there
Still staring at their flowers,
That dull and faded are.
If one should rise beside thee,
The other is not far.
Go ask the youngest angel,
She will say with bated breath,
By the door of Mary's garden
Are the spirits Love and Death.

William Butler Yeats

Foolish

Oh, I'm sorry, James.
I was so foolish...
It's always drama with us, isn't it?

Pissed

Mood: Pissed! Yes! I switched from happy to totally pissed off!
Weather: cloudy
Music: Ginger Snaps Theme


Good Lord!
I'm pissed!
I read the log of Foreman's and James' conversation...
He really told him about that kitchen table at Canada!
And he did things you usually have to pay for!
I have a bone to pick with both of you!
And don't tell me you were drunk, that's no excuse!
I feel betrayed.

Yes, you got it. I'm not really pissed. I'm hurt. Crestfallen. In a blue funk.

Back home again

Mood: happy and contented
Weather: Cloudy, 44°F
Music: King for a day - Green Day

I'm home again and highly pleased.
Yes! I'm clapping my shoes together. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.
Hah, and I'm in the mood for watching The Wizard of Oz, strange, isn't it?
Yesterday at the time I still was at the moron's place and longed for being here.
With James.
He's still sleeping and looking so peaceful.
I could watch him for hours...

My poor cuddly-wuddly cupcake... (Am I getting silly? *thinks* No!)He was full of anxiety yesterday and nearly went mad. I'm so glad I'm with him again. And I fear I didn't show him. Just grabbed my Vicodin and dry-swallowed three of them. It was relieving and the nausea and pain almost immediately vanished.

It was the gang who saved me.
Saved me with a skillet. Beware of skillets - they're lethal weapons! A fortiori if you try to cross the ducklings...It's near to crossing Jordan.

I was still sitting at Allenby's laptop trying to contact James through MSN when I heard the keys at the door. I wasn't quick enough to shut down the computer before Louis came in, so he saw what I did.
"Sod it!", he exclaimed (yes, he's British) and rushed in, grabbing the laptop and slamming the door at the same time.
"What have you done?!", he asked furiously and glared at me. I shrugged and grinned. He couldn't scare me.
"What does it look like?" I asked and looked as if butter wouldn't melt in my mouth.
He stared at the screen. "Did you contact anyone?"
"Maybe...maybe not..."
"Did you CONTACT ANYONE?!"
"No need to yell at me...Maybe I did. So what?"
Louis stood there undecided, closing and opening his fists time and time again.
I heard a quiet click! and someone muttering "Yesssss!" and then I knew the gang was on their way. But I pretended to be unaware and Louis was too absorbed in his thoughts to hear anything.
He then looked at me and came close to my face. "Well...honey-toast, maybe we should go to another place...I want to be alone with you and not disturbed by anyone."
I stretched. "Nope. I like it here."
There were three shadows creeping to the kitchen and I had to fight down a giggle. It was astonishing how quiet they were and I pitied Chase to a small amount. He had to face his enemy again and surely no strawberry-lotion was able to calm him down today.
Suddenly
Foreman jumped around the edge and smashed down the skillet on Allenbys head. It made a sickening sound and Allenby toppled over like a tree hit by a lumberjack.
"Is he dead?", whispered Cameron.
So what? I don't care!
Foreman looked at him. "No, he’s still breathing. But maybe he is concussed now."
I wanted to wave at them and shout "Heheeeey! I'm over heheeeere!", but only a puzzled "What..." escaped my mouth. I felt awful, but relieved.
Cameron winked at me. "We said that we will come to rescue you!"
"Yeah..." I began and tried to stand up but sank down on the sofa again immediately. It hurt so much, I was trembling and felt unable to move. "Fuck!" I cursed and patted my leg.
"Your leg?" asked Cameron and together with Chase she brought me to my feet.
"Yes... he threw away my Vicodin!", I muttered and hoped for my little white bottled friends. But Foreman dashed my hopes.
"Sorry, there was no time to get new ones."
Brilliant!
Chase called the police and Cameron called James. I could hear him shouting when she told him I was safe and gestured to her mobile. "Gimme the phone!"
She handed it over to me.
"Jim? Hun?"
"Oh Greg! It is so good to hear you. How are you? Did he ...? Are you okay?"
I was so dumb! The only thing I said to him was "I want my vicodin! And those three have forgotten them."
James giggled and breathed a sigh of relief. "You are fine! Thanks god ... Is the police already there?"
"Nope..."
"No? Good, they will need some minutes, I'll come and bring the Vicodin!"
Foreman just had told me they locked him in and I grinned.
"Thanks Jim! But how - you are locked in, aren't you?"
"Let this be my problem. I love you ..."
I swallowed. "You, too", I mumbled and we hung up.

Shortly afterwards the police arrived and we all had to give evidence, so I first didn't notice when James came in.
"Your pills, Dr. House", he said, grinning like a cheshire-cat.
Thankfully I took them and dry-swallowed three of them. I wanted to jump up and hug him, but I couldn't.

I was relieved when we finally got home and wanted nothing else than cuddling. Well, James wanted the same, so we harmonized.
I was lying on the bed on my belly and James offered to amass me. Of course I didn't say no but when he began I suddenly felt sick at heart and yelled "HAAAAH! Get off get off get off!!!"
James was shocked and froze in the middle of his movement. "What..."
I blushed and looked at him apologetically. "Sorry...."
"What...what happened?"
"Um...it's...nothing. I don't know myself..."

Well....Now he wants me to undergo a highly embarrassing examination...

Still waiting

Mood: just in pain, being sick
Weather: I don't care a shit for the weather - but seems to be fine
Music: Atom Bomb - Fluke

I'm still here.
I'm still waiting.
But I can put my mind at rest.
Foreman, Chase and Cameron are on their way and I'm damn sure Foreman can cope with an ordinary lock.

So I'm sitting here, moving around in the appartment with Allenby's computer chair, drinking coffee, eating cheddar and listening to some music. As I told you at least the son of a bitch own some good compact discs.

To distract me, I'm writing down about what Jim and me talked yesterday morning. We commemorated how we first met...
Well....we've been talking about his marriages and...what we have planned for our future. I asked him if he really wanted to try again - with me. I looked up to him and he looked straight into my eyes.
"I never wanted anything else", he replied to me and I was taken aback.
"What? You...never wanted anything else?" I asked, looking blank.
"I always wanted to be with you", James said, looking out of the window.
I just stared at him. "Is hat true?" He nodded and I swallowed.
I thought for a while and remained silent.
"But....I thought you really loved Susan...", I began. Susan was his first wife and he married her four years after we met.
"It was different...It is the first time I really feel that kind of love", he said and tried not to look at me.
I still stared at him and I remembered that congress 10 years ago. "And at first sight you thought 'Good hell! What a curmudgeon!'", I remined him.
He grinned and I proceeded. "When I just thought 'Gaaaaawd...he's cute....' and tried to be at my best behaviour..." I shook my head and watched James' face.
He looked at me with a somewhat bewildered expression. "You thought I am cute?"
I shrugged and nodded a bit embarassed. "I did. I still do."
James grinned "Well, and you are still a curmudgeon ... Sometimes" and winked at me.
I shrugged again. "You do not know what you looked like..."
James took me into his arms and started to caress my back. "Then tell me..."

I am not quite sure if I remember everything right....but I'll try. Maybe James can recall it, too and write down his own point of view sometime.
But I remember I was sitting in that assembly hall, the old fart in front of us began to talk and to greet us and I was immediately bored. In my mind a picture of three horrible days waiting for breakfast, waiting for lunch, waiting for dinner and getting drunk began to form.
A few minutes after he began, there was a slight disturbance by the door being opened again and James rushed in. He was late and in a hurry, his tie back on his shoulder wearing a black suit and with slightly deranged hair. I'm sure he tore at it when it came to his mind he was bound to be late.
He stammered a few excuses and then looked around for a seat. No big surprise - the one next to me was still unoccupied and he flung himself into it, raising a discreet little cloud of Fahrenheit.
Maybe I grunted instead of saying hello...but that was just because he hit my ribs with his elbow.
I looked at him from the corner of my eyes and thought "Geez! He's cute!" and felt an unfamilar twinch in my stomach. This puzzled me and I decided not to pay too much attention to this - and him. So I tried not to stare at him, forced myself to look away and stubbornly stared ahead where the prosing chairman still was greeting us.
I'm sure I must have made the impression of 'Eyes front!'
After a while I decided to look at his shoes instead of the old fart in front of us and discovered there was dirt on them. I stared at his shoes for about half an hour (and didn't give a shit to what impression this could make) and afterwards was sure he parked his car at the lake. The parking lot was crowded by then, so he had to be at the lake. My black Chevy was there, too. I had plenty of spaces to choose from, but I didn't want to meet any other doctors after I saw one with the unspeakable sticker Have you hugged your MD today? on his bumper.
"Good Lord! I'm sure I'm surrounded by idiots!" I thought and decided to park at the lake.
I had plenty of stuff in my car - a sleeping bag, some pairs of sneakers, books, a mug and so on.
Suddenly there was that poem, which came to my mind:
I know now that the voice of man can reach to the sky
I know now that the gods have heard as I prayed
I know now that the gifts I asked for have all been granted
I know now that the word of old we truly have heard
I know now that our future days will have no number
I know that only good will come, my love, to us.
I shook my head, found myself still staring at his shoes and thought "YES! You are making a perfect first impression!" Then I decided to just remain silent until he'd approach me. Besides that I didn't know what to say to him and kept on giving him side glances. Geez, what did he think of me? "Crazy scumbag"?

The doctor talking to us was an awful bore and the whole lecture was a bit of a yawn, so I started to throw spittle-wetted paperballs to other people's heads. Most of them landed in the sprayed hair of that lady in front of me which made her look like a snowman after a while. "God, Greg...you're making a fool of yourself...what will he think of you?", I thought.
I longed for lunch and flipped open my book - Shakespeare's sonnets. James turned his head and tried to look at what I read. "What are you reading?", he asked.
"A book!", I replied and immediately wanted to smack myself. I focused on my book and wondered if he watched me. But to make sure would mean to watch him which I tried to avoid.

I was ever so relieved when finally the lunch break saved me from being bored to death, jumped up and ran to the restaurant. To my big surprise James joined me at my table, but I prefered not to talk to him and just answered his remarks on the weather. ""It is raining cats and dogs - so I wouldn't call it a weather!" Then I stared out of the window and remained silent besides showing him that puppy who looked into the restaurant. "See? It is raining dogs...."

In the afternoon I started to talk to him...I leaned over to him "He is soooo boring!"
James blushed and I think he hoped no one heard me complaining. But it was boring and I was close to standing up and shout "Tell us something new!" James was scribbling notes into his little black book and I wondered what he wrote down. The lecture didn't end...the whole thing was going to be one big waiting for lunch, waiting for dinner, waiting to get drunk, waiting to fall asleep, waiting...to meet his eyes.

That evening was much nicer though...although I rushed into James in the hall and he ruined my sports coat with his single malt. (And I pressed him to buy me a new one. I got a wonderful Ermenegildo Zegna jacket...) We mocked the other participants, laughed our ass off and drank ourselves into oblivion just to discover we had to share a room.
I think that night I didn't even bother to put off my clothes.

House abduction

Mood: pissed off
Weather: light rain and damned cold
Music: Dancing in the moonlight - Elvis Costello

House abduction - no child abduction.
Yeah, I know this sounds funny....but it isn't in the least.
I am angry, pissed off, enraged, disgusted, sick
and I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!
At least this bottom-feeder has some good music here.
And coffee!
I percolated coffee for the third time today.

It all started yesterday evening. Cameron visited us just to make sure James and me are fine and I noticed there was no Single Malt anymore and we would have nothing to eat for today.
So - what did I do? After Cameron took leave, of course I went to the mall to fetch some things.

I was hobbling around the shops, bought lamb's lettuce (James loves it), steak, french fries, bread, cold cuts and put them into the trunk when I noticed I forgot about the single malt. "Shoot!" I thought and got back into the mall. I hate limping around those crowded shops and wasn't pleased at all to have to go back there, but then I wanted a nice bottle of Aberlour a’bunadh or maybe Bunnahabhain.

Well...I was standing at the liquor dealer's showcase when someone approached me and I heard a low voice saying "Hello, Gregory. I am pleased to meet you..."
I turned my head and looked into Allenby's smiling face. "What the fuck are you doing here?!", I exclaimed with disbelief. "I thought Foreman broke your mandible..."
Louis shook his head and his smile grew broader. "No...he just smashed my face....but as you see I'm okay now."
"Yeah...but not for long", I shook my fist on him.
I tried to think of the most painful way to bring him from life to death and swung my cane, but he grabbed it and interrupted my pondering.
"Ah, no....don't be angry...As I told James, you just need some...persuasion to catch that you love me."
I shook my head. "You're crazy!"
"Come along with me, Gregory. We're going home now", he told me with a nutty look on his face.
I wanted to turn around without saying anything, but suddenly there was something hard and cold poking at my side.
"Aaaaw, I am ever so sorry", Allenby grinned. "Didn't I introduce you yet? Gregory, say hello to Mr. Smith & Wesson..."
I gasped. "What?"
He nodded. "Yes...you just got to know my Model 3913TSW Pistol...And I'm sure it persuaded you to go with me."
"You crackpot!", I gnarled.
He nudged me again. "Let's go home, luv..."
"Nothing else remains to be done, huh?" I frowned and accompanied him to his car.

Thoughts were on rodeo in my mind and I frantically searched for a way to escape him and call the police. He was obviously mad, maybe even high. We stopped at his car and he opened the passenger door for me.
"Come to think of it I'd rather go to my own home", I began.
Louis shook his head. "This is your home now..."
Again a nudge with the gun and I obediently sat down in his car.
When he started the engine I secretly tried to fumble for my mobile, but he noticed and took it away from me, tit-tatting. "Why are you trying to upset me, hm?"
"What's the use of this?!", I barked at him. "I want to get out!"
"You get out when we're home."
"There is nothing like traveling", I retorted and waited to arrive at Park Road 112, where I was forced out of the car and hurried into his appartment.

"Stop it now!" I tried to convince him. "You know this leads to nothing and will only get you into trouble."
He took my coat off and didn't react to anything I said.
"Sit down, dear. Want some coffee?"
"That's the last straw! I don't give a fuck for your coffee!" I shouted and he winced. Then he slowly shook his head.
"I knew you wouldn't be able to understand when you're filled to the brim with these drugs..." He reached inside my coat pocket and took the Vicodin. He carefully eyed it and seemed to decide something. "I think you're better off without that stuff", he then announced and went outside.
I tried to follow him but he locked the door.
"What the heck are you doing?" I yelled outside.
"Throwing that stuff away!" was the answer.
I froze, then shook my head. "You can't do that!"
He entered the appartment and locked the door again. "I just did it. You see?"
I was close to wacking out and looked around for anything I could smash his head with when I was forced to sit down on the sofa.
He handed me a glass of red wine and purred to me "Just relax...Don't be angry...I love you more than anyone, you know? I'm the only one who loves you and I just want to make sure you pinpoint it..."
I just stared at him and replied nothing.
"Drink", he proceeded and nodded to my glass of wine. "You'll feel better afterwards, I promise." He put his arm around me and I disavowed from him.
Looking into my glass I thought "Why not? You couldn't stand this without alcohol..." and downed it.
A few minutes afterwards I began to feel dizzy. "Oh noooooo", I thought. "He's going to leave me aboulic...."
He fondled my hair. "I told you you'd feel better, didn't I?"
"Bastard...." I managed to say.
"Aw....don't be cross with me...As I told you - you only need some convincing and soon will discover it's me you love..."

I felt how my sense blurred and when I woke up again in the middle of the night my mind was still covered by a smoke screen. I blinked and didn't know where I was and was horrified when I discovered Allenby's arms around me and me only wearing boxers.
"Geez..." I hissed and tried to escape, but my head ached to much and I felt like on a merry-go-round. Reluctantly I fell asleep again.

When I woke up this morning, my mind was perfectly clear again. I looked around and found out I was alone.
"God....James will be going stark raving mad by now!" I thought and reached for my cane.
It wasn't there.
"Bloody hell!"
I crept out of bed, hopped on one leg to my clothes and put them on with an effort. My leg hurt like hell and the bastard really discarded my pills somewhere outside. I felt sick and cold sweat was on my forehead. Was that detox again?
Soon it came to my mind I wasn't able to walk and hopping around on one leg didn't work either 'cause pain made me vertiginous, sick and shivering.
I crept into the living-room and reached for the phone.
Dead.
The door was locked, windows closed and barred.
But!
The dweeb forgot about his computer. I started it and was relieved it wasn't password-protected, when I spotted the post-it.
"Dear Greg, I reported you sick at Cuddy's office. Be back this evening. xxx"
"Pinhead!", I thought and grinned. Surely Cuddy would know by now that there was something wrong as it was Allenby who called her and not James.
"Damned half wit", I muttered and started to send e-mails to James, Cameron, Chase, Foreman and Cuddy, telling them in brief what happened and where I was and that I wanted to get out of here immediately.

I hoped that James would be able to read his e-mails and was feeling well. I was totally concerned about him and hated it I was forced to stay away from him.
This was a few minutes ago, then I started to write this to let those know who didn't read their mails by now. It's hard to type 'cause my leg hurts like hell, I'm sweating by now, suffer from nausea and feel sick.

I want to get out of here!!! NOW!!!!
And James, hun...don't be worried. I'm okay. I just want to be with you. And don't try to come here. Stay at home and wait for me, okay?
If you read this, try to phone Chase and Foreman. The gang will be able to get me out of here, I know that.

Die schlimmste Nacht meines Lebens II

Irgendwer fand es wohl passend, mich beim Warten an James' Bett zu fotografieren:

Ich weiss ja nicht, was das soll und witzig fand ich es auch nicht...
Mir ging die ganze Zeit der Titelsong von Ginger Snaps nicht aus dem Ohr und ich trank Unmengen von Espresso.

Im Krankenwagen musste ich tatsächlich den Sanitätern ihre Arbeit erklären und hätte fast um mich geschlagen, riss mich aber zusammen, weil ich James versorgen wollte.
Im Krankenhaus angekommen humpelte ich mit in die Notaufnahme und in den Behandlungsraum hinein. James hatte einen Stich in der Seite - oberhalb der Niere - und ich wollte mich vergewissern, dass die Niere auch wirklich nicht verletzt war.
"Sie können hier nicht bleiben!", blaffte mich der behandelnde Arzt an.
"Ich kann! Ich bin selber Arzt!", blaffte ich zurück.
Er schaute auf meine Hand, dann auf die von James und schüttelte nachdrücklich den Kopf. "Ein emotional viel zu involvierter Arzt...", meinte er langsam und schon wurde ich von vier Händen gepackt und aus dem Behandlungsraum gezogen - Chase und Foreman.
"In Ihrem Zustand können Sie nicht helfen!", rief Foreman dicht an meinem Ohr und Chase drückte mich auf einen der Stühle im Gang nieder.
"Wo ist Allenby?", fragte ich tonlos.
"Nicht hier...", entgegnete Foreman zögerlich.
"WO ist er?"
"In einem anderen Krankenhaus."
"Sicher..."
"Geben Sie her!", meinte Foreman schnell, nahm mir meinen Stock ab, zerrte meinen Gürtel aus den Schlaufen und forschte in meinen Jackentaschen. Aus diesen holte er noch einen Harley Davidson Kugelschreiber und meinen Zigarrenanzünder.
"Was soll das?" fragte ich perplex.
"Ich will nur sichergehen, dass Sie niemanden verletzen..."
Ich schaute Chase entgegen, der mit einem Pflaster am Hals mit einer Tasse starken Kaffees auf mich zukam, den er einer der Schwestern aus den Rippen geleiert hatte.
"Trinken Sie das", drückte er mir die Tasse in die Hand und ließ sich auf den Stuhl neben mir fallen. Ungläubig streckte ich die Hand nach seinem Pflaster aus und er schluckte kurz, als ich es leicht berührte.
"Verzeihung", murmelte ich. "Ich wollte Ihnen nicht wehtun..."
Ich bedeckte die Augen kurz mit meiner Hand. "All das nur wegen mir..."
Foreman hielt im Auf-und-ab-Laufen inne. "Wie? Schuld ist Allenby, der miese Wichser!"
Ich schüttelte abwesend den Kopf. "Hätte ich ihn nicht so sehr gereizt und geärgert, wäre es gar nicht so weit gekommen...."
"Hey, das wird schon wieder, Mann!", meinte Foreman.
"Yo, Homie....here with da hood", dachte ich und unterdrückte ein irres Grinsen.
Chase drückte meine Schulter. "Der wäre auch so ausgerastet. Der ist vollkommen irre. Total...ähm...verrückt nach Ihnen..."
"Na toll", murmelte ich und schluckte etwas von dem Kaffee. Heiß, stark, schwarz, süß...genau richtig.
"Er liebt Sie, soll ich Ihnen sagen", meldete sich Foreman wieder.
Ich blickte auf. "Wie?"
"Dr. Wilson meinte zu mir, ich solle Ihnen sagen, er liebt Sie...."
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas?!"
Ich versuchte aufzuspringen, wurde aber von Chase im Stuhl zurückgehalten.
"Gaaaaaanz falsch, Foreman", meinte er ruhig. "Das sagen sie in unseren B-Movies immer nur dann, wenn der Charakter, der es ausrichten lässt, stirbt..."
Plötzlich nahm er mich in den Arm und tätschelte meinen Rücken.
"Es ist alles okay, House...Es wird ihm bald wieder gut gehen...Nur etwas Nähen und Blutkonserven...Hörst du, Greg?"
Ich nahm nichtmal wahr, dass er mich plötzlich beim Vornamen anredete und nickte bloß benommen. Den Rest Kaffee kippte ich in einem Zug runter und verbrannte mir Hals und Gaumen, aber das ließ mich wenigstens spüren, dass ich noch da war.
Foreman organisierte mir auch gleich einen neuen und so saßen und saßen wir und sie hielten mich immer wieder davon ab, in den Behandlungsraum zu springen.

Ich weiß nicht, wie spät es war - mir schienen Stunde vergangen zu sein was in House-Jahren nahe an einer Ewigkeit ist. Jedenfalls öffnete sich schließlich die Tür und der Arzt, der mich herausgeschickt hatte, trat auf mich zu.
"Dr...?"
Ich rieb mir die Augen und blickte auf. "Dr. House."
Er schüttelte mir die Hand. "Dr. House - Dr. Nelson. Ihrem...hm...Freund geht es gut. Der Stich hat die Niere verfehlt und auch sonst keine Organe verletzt. Den Blutverlust haben wir ausgeglichen und die Wunde genäht. Er kommt jetzt auf ein Zimmer und Sie können mitgehen."
Foreman händigte mir meinen Stock wieder aus und ich humpelte hinter dem Bett her, in dem James zu seinem Zimmer geschoben wurde. Foreman und Chase folgten mir, setzten sich aber im Gang vor dem Zimmer hin und nickten mir aufmunternd zu.

Ich ließ mich auf den Stuhl neben dem Bett sinken und schaute wie durch Nebel der Schwester zu, wie sie Jim versorgte und mir dann ebenfalls aufmunternd zunickte.
"Ihr Mann, hm?", fragte sie mitfühlend und schaute mich an.
Ich sah sie groß an.
"Die Ringe...", meinte sie bloß und lächelte.
"Mhm...", nickte ich und schluckte.
Bevor sie aus dem Raum ging, legte sie mir ihre Hand auf die Schulter. "Es ist alles in Ordnung mit ihm. Es wird alles wieder gut...."
In der Tür wandte sie sich nochmals um. "Ich bringe Ihnen eine Kanne Kaffee vorbei, okay? Möchten Sie auch etwas essen?"
"Danke", krächzte ich. "Ich...habe keinen Hunger. Aber...vielleicht meine beiden Kollegen, die vor der Tür warten."
Hatte ich eben daran gedacht, dass Foreman und Chase Bedürfnisse und Gefühle haben könnten? House? Bist Du's?

Ich saß die ganze Nacht an James' Bett, trank einen Kaffee nach dem anderen, sprach leise mit ihm, streichelte ihm durchs Haar, küsste ab und an seine Stirn und schlief zwischendurch kurz mit dem Kopf auf seinem Bett ein.
Im Morgengrauen saß ich immer noch an seinem Bett, hielt seine Hand und hielt mit der anderen meinen Stock fest, auf den ich das Kinn gestützt hatte.
Die Hand bewegte sich leicht und ich hörte ein leises "Hey...."
Ich riss die Augen auf. "James!"
Seine Augenlider flatterten leicht und öffneten sich schließlich. Sein Blick war klar. Müde, aber klar.
Ich fühlte eine Woge der Erleichterung über mich hinwegspülen, die mir fast den Boden unter den Füßen wegriss. "Liebling...Schatz...Lieber..." murmelte ich vor mich hin, beugte mich vor und küsste ihn. Er hob schwach den Arm und legte seine Hand in meinen Nacken.
"Du bist da", flüsterte er und ich nickte stumm und blinzelte die Tränen zurück.

Die schlimmste Nacht meines Lebens

Benommen wachte ich auf und musste erst einmal orten, wo ich überhaupt war.
Alles war dunkel und ich fühlte mich fremd.
Irgendwann dämmerte es mir. Ah, Chase' Zimmer... daher der Geruch nach Erdbeerduschgel.
Mit schwirrendem Schädel stand ich auf. "Fehdammt", brummelte ich und merkte, dass es mit dem Sprechen nicht so klappte wie ich wollte.
Ich tastete nach meinem Stock und tapste ins Wohnzimmer.
Alles dunkel.
Alles leer.
"Hallooooo? James?", rief ich und legte lauschend den Kopf zur Seite.
Schweigen.
"Jaaaaaaaaaaaames?", rief ich etwas lauter.
Immer noch keine Antwort.
Ich ging in die anderen Zimmer und rief nach Foreman und Chase.
Niemand war da.
Waren Sie abgereist? Hatte James sie zum Flughafen begleitet?
Irgendwie hatte ich ein seltsames Gefühl.
Ich schüttelte den Kopf, um es zu verscheuchen, aber es kam nicht vom Tee.
Es war Angst.
"Spinn nicht rum...was soll schon sein?", sprach ich kurz mit mir selbst.
Aber es ging nicht weg. Es war ein Gefühl, als sei irgendetwas schlimmes passiert.
Ich ging zur Haustür und wollte hinausschauen, aber sie war abgeschlossen.
"Das ist jetzt nicht wahr!"
Ich humpelte zur Hintertür - auch zu.
Langsam wurde es unheimlich.Der nächste Versuch war ein Fenster - alles verrammelt.
"FUCK!" fluchte ich und wählte mit meinem Mobile James Nummer. Das Handy dudelte in unserem Zimmer. Ebenso erging es mir mit Foreman und Chase, also rief ich schlußendlich Cameron an. Vielleicht hatten sie ihr gesat, was los war.

Sie wußte gar nichts, war aber auch ziemlich in Sorge. Ich versuchte sie davon abzuhalten, umzukehren, aber das war wohl vergeblich.
Kopfschüttelnd setzte ich mich ins Wohnzimmer, starrte gegen die Wand und wartete. Das Gefühl nagte an mir und die Zeit schien im Schneckentempo zu vergehen.

Plötzlich wurde die Tür aufgerissen und Foreman stürzte herein.
"Ah...Foreman! Sagen Sie, was ist hier los und warum haben Sie mich eingesperrt?"
Er hörte mir gar nicht zu sondern grabschte sich ein Bündel und rannte wieder hinaus, ohne sich die Mühe zu machen, die Tür wieder zu schließen.
"Foremaaaaaaan?", rief ich ihm hinterher. "Hallo?"
So musste sich der Unsichtbare fühlen, dachte ich, schnappte mir angepißt meinen Mantel und humpelte hinaus. Ich wandte den Kopf und sah eine Bewegung und flackerndes Taschenlampenlicht in Richtung Wald. Waren denn alle wahnsinnig geworden?
Ich versuchte mir Foreman wieder in Erinnerung zu rufen. War da Blut an seiner Hand gewesen?
In meinem Magen bildete sich ein Klumpen und ich schloss mechanisch die Tür, um ihm dann hinterherzugehen.

Im Dunkeln nur mit einem Zigarrenanzünder als Lichtquelle bewaffnet und zu alem Überfluss durchs Unterholz humpelnd kam ich nur langsam voran, hörte aber nach einer Weile endlich aufgeregte Stimmen. War das Blaulicht? Der Klumpen im Magen wanderte ein Stück höher und wurde zu einer Faust, die mir das Herz zusammenpreßte.
"JAMES?", brüllte ich durch den Wald.
"House?" Das war Foremans Stimme.
"House!" Eindeutig Cameron. Cameron?
"Foreman! Wo sind Sie?" brüllte ich in die blaulichtflackernde Dunkelheit.
"Ich stehe hier und helfe Cameron!", brüllte es zurück.

Da vorne standen Cameron und Foreman. Alles wurde ab und an vom Blaulicht erhellt und Sanitäter machten sich an einem Notarztwagen zu schaffen.
"Scheiße, was ist hier los?" rief ich den beiden zu. "Wo ist James?" Suchend blickte ich mich im Wald um.
"Der liegt hier!", rief Foreman und deutete auf James, der blutend am Boden lag. Mir wurde eiskalt und sämtliches Blut schien mir zu gefrieren. Wie erstarrt blieb ich stehen. "Oh mein Gott!"
Cameron stammelte sich irgendwas von Allenby zurecht und ich humpelte so schnell ich konnte auf James zu. "James?", blieb ich vor ihm stehen.
"Gott, ohne Ihren Anruf...", begann Cameron.
"Jim?", fragte ich wieder ohne zuzuhören.
Wo kam das ganze Blut her? Und warum hörte ermich nicht. ich schaute verwirrt von Foreman zu Cameron und wieder zurück. "Was ist hier los?"
"Das war Allenby...", äußerte Foreman sich endlich und ich blickte zu ihm auf.
"Der liegt übrigens da hinten, nachdem Wilson ihn betäubt und ich ihn verpügelt hab...", fuhr er fort.
"Tot?"
"Nein..."
"Noch nicht...", stieß ich zwischen den Zähnen hervor und setzte mich neben James.
Foreman wollte derweil seine Aussage machen und dann "zum Hasen fahren", was auch immer er damit meinte.
"Jimmy....", flüsterte ich und nahm James Hand.
Es kam keinerlei Reaktion von ihm und ich zwang mich, ganz ruhig zu bleiben. Ohne Panik konnte ich ihm vielleicht helfen. Wer weiß, was die Sanitäter drauf hatten.
"Wie hoch ist der Blutverlust?", fragte ich Cameron und Foreman, die sich grade umarmten.
"Chase gehts noch gut. Der Blutverlust bei Wilson war hoch", entgegnete Foreman.
Ich fühlte Jims Puls. "Schwach, aber stabil..." Gott sei Dank!
"Dafür haben ja auch wir gesorgt!", meinte Foreman - ein Indiz für unfähige Sanitäter. Klar, dass mein Team ihnen da zur Hand gehen musste. Ich war so froh, dass sie alle da waren.
Plötzlich wurde ich von besagten Sanitätern weggeschubst und konnte mich grade so fangen, während sie James in den Krankenwagen verluden.
Foreman verabschiedete sich in Richtung Polizei und ich rief den Sanitätern entgegen "Finger weg! Ich komme mit!"
"Sie können nicht mitfahren", näselte ein pickliger Jüngling und wollte mich wegdrängen.
"Was heißt hier ich kann NICHT MIFAHREN?", brüllte ich ihn aufgebracht an. "ICH FAHRE MIT!!!"
Der Notarzt kam hinzu und wollte mich wegschieben, aber ich verpasste ihn einem Hieb mit meinem Stock gegen sein Schienbein und kletterte in den Wagen.
"Und wie ich mitfahre!" An Cameron gewandt rief ic noch, sie solle im Haus warten, als die Türen sich schlossen und warf ihr durch die Scheibe noch einen dankbaren Blick zu.

Nur ein Foto

Aber eines, das ich sehr mag.
James hat es damals an der Pizzeria gemacht. (Mit Selbstauslöser - die Kamera stand auf dem Dach seines Autos.)
Nachdem wir von der Begrüßungsfeier für Dorian und Reid kamen.
Als alles noch anders war...

"Lavendel"-Tee und Wattebäusche im Kopf

Wo war ich stehengeblieben?
Verzeihen Sie mir meine Zerstreutheit...Ich komme mir schon beinahe vor wie Professor Hastings aus der Sesame Street.
Um mich etwas zu beruhigen, höre ich Losing my Religion in der version von Tori Amos und versuche, nicht an Sonntagabend zu denken.
Zack - da war es wieder! Dran gedacht!
Wie könnte ich es auch vergessen, wenn ich James sehe. Blass, müde, mit verbundenem Bauch... Mir krampft sich alles zusammen, wenn ich das sehe.
Und wenn ich daran denke, dass das alles bloß passiert ist, weil er, Foreman und Chase mich unterstützen wollten, dann geht es mir noch viel schlechter. Zum Heulen gehe ich heimlich ins Schlafzimmer, damit er mich nicht dabei hört und sieht. Es wäre sicher nicht gut.
Ich kann nicht sagen, wie leid es mir tut, was Sie so erlebt haben, Chase und Foreman...Und es fällt mir verdammt schwer, so etwas zu sagen bzw. niederzuschreiben. Also sprechen Sie mich am besten nicht darauf an. Aber ich werde alles tun, um Sie immer in meinem Team zu behalten.

Aber....weiter im Text, hm?

Chase' Einwände prallten also an mir ab, da ich sie gar nicht hörte und mich weiter an sein Bein klammerte "wie ein Ertrinkender", wie Foreman mir später sagte.
Foreman war inzwischen vor die Tür gegangen und hatte sich umgeblickt. Zu meiner großen Erleichterung war niemand mehr da.
Das war auch der Zeitpunkt, an dem ich merkte, dass ich im Kaffee kniete, den ich beim Tassefallenlassen verschüttet hatte.
"So ein Mist!", fluchte ich mit einem Blick nach unten.
In der gleichen Sekunde wunderte ich mich, welche Säule ich da wohl umklammerte.
"Ups....Chase....das tut mir leid...."
(Wo ich sonst noch rumgedrückt habe und welchen Effekt das offensichtlich hatte, verschweige ich besser...)
"Hrmpf", kam es von ihm und er rieb sich die Innenseite seines Beins.
"Hab ich Ihnen wehgetan?", fragte ich, kam unter dem Tisch hervorgekrochen und richtete mich mühsam auf.
"Das tut verdammt weh!", meinte Chase. "Das gibt sicher blaue Flecken...."
"Tut mir leid..."
Er winkte ab und ich besah mir meine Knie. "So ein Mist...alles voll Kaffee...."
Chase und Foreman grinsten. "Sie sehen aus, als hätten Sie sich in die Hose gemacht..."
Ich zog die Brauen zusammen und schickte ihnen einen bösen Blick. "Schon klar! Ich pinkle für gewöhnlich aus den Knien!"
"Ihr Hintern ist auch nass!", konterte Foreman und ich verrenkte mir den Hals, um zu sehen, ob das stimmte.
"Verdammt!"
"Mann, tut das weh", jammerte Chase. "Und ich muss mal..."
"Gehen Sie doch! Es hindert Sie ja niemand!"
Chase ging so würdevoll es ihm möglich war ins Bad und ich goss mir erstmal einen neuen Kaffee ein und unterhielt mich mit Foreman.
Zwischendurch meinten wir beide, dass Chase ganz schön lang im Bad steckte.
"So lange kann er doch nicht pinkeln!", meinte ich.
Foreman zuckte die Achseln. "Vielleicht holt er sich einen runter."
Ich starrte ihn an. "Mein Gott!"
"War nur 'ne Vermutung..."
Ich humpelte in Richtung Bad und winkte Foreman zu mir. "Lassen Sie's uns herausfinden..."
Lauschend legte ich mein Ohr an die Tür.
"HOUSE! Das können wir nicht machen!", wisperte Foreman, lauschte aber im gleichen Atemzug mit.
"Ooooooh", hörten wir es aus dem Bad klingen.
"Haben Sie das gehört?", flüsterte ich.
Foreman erblasste, soweit ihm das möglich war und nickte.
"Aaaaah jaaaaa", ertönte es wieder.
Ich runzelte die Stirn. "Hören Sie auch dieses Flitschgeräusch?"
"WAS?!", zischte Foreman.
"Na, dieses witsch-witsch-witsch...."
Er lauschte und nickte.
"Können Sie sehen, was er macht?", flüsterte ich ihm zu.
Foreman spähte durchs Schlüsselloch und zuckte die Achseln. "Er hat auf jeden Fall die Hand zwischen den Beinen. Und in der anderen Hand hat er eine Creme...."
"Vielleicht versorgt er seine Blutergüsse...."
"Foreman? Bist DU das?" rief Chase plötzlich aus und riss die Tür auf. Foreman machte einen Satz nach hinten und mir knallte die Tür mitten vor die Stirn.
"Doh!", rief ich aus.
"Geschieht Ihnen Recht!", giftete Chase.
Ich hob die Hände. "Hey, wir wollten nur sehen, ob wir Ihnen helfen können."
"Schon klar!", meinte Chase hinter zusammengebissenen Zähnen.
Vorsichtshalber trat ich den Rückzug an und verzog mich in unser (James und mein) Zimmer, wo ich versuchte, meine Jeans immerhin ein wenig vom Kaffee zu befreien.
Chase und Foreman zogen sich derweil in Chase Zimmer zurück.

Mit einer neuen Hose machteich mich auf den Weg in die Küche. Jedoch stoppte ich, als ich Foremans Stimme aus Chase' Zimmer klingen hörte.
"Soll ich mal nachschauen?"
"Untersteh dich!"
Ich öffnete die Tür und grinste herein. "Soll ich mal nachschauen?"
Chase schüttelte den Kopf. "Sie haben schon genug angerichtet. Wollen Sie sehen, was Foreman und ich treiben oder haben Sie einen wirklichen Grund, ohne Klopfen hier reinzuschneien?"
Klang das pissy?
Ich zuckte die Schultern. "Hm...ich war eigentlich auch mal an Foremans Tee interessiert. Ob Sie auch etwas für mich hätten?", schaute ich Foreman mit einem breiten Lächeln an.
Der strahlte. "Aber sicher!"
Eifrig stand er auf und schenkte mir ein.
"Wo kann ich mich setzen?", fragte ich, als er mir die Tasse in die Hand drückte.
"Hm...am besten aufs Bett."
Chase klopfte neben sich und ich setzte mich.
Ich schaute in die Tasse. "Seltsam", meinte ich und schnupperte.
"Riecht nach gar nichts, oder?", fragte Chase.
Ich nickte. "Was soll das denn sein?"
Foreman verdrehte die Augen. "Wie oft noch? LAVENDEL!"
"Okay...." Ich nippte daran und runzelte die Stirn.
"Schmeckt auch nach nichts, oder?", fragte Chase wieder.
Ich nahm noch einen Schluck. "Schmegg nah ganiggs...."
Foreman grinste mich an. "Und wie fühlen Sie sich, Dr. House?"
Ich blickte auf. "Tschunge wird schwea..."
Seltsam, ich konnte kaum noch vernünftig sprechen und alles an mir wurde schwer und zog nach unten.
"Ich sag doch, der entspannt total", meinte Chase.
Ich trank die Tasse leer und sah mich im Zimmer um. Es drehte sich. Seltsam, dass ich das vorher nicht bemerkt hatte.
"Legen Sie sich am besten hin", bemerkte Foreman und - schwupps - legte ich mich gehorsam zurück.
"Dasch Bedd dreht sich", meinte ich und blinzelte.
"Das ist normal..."
Ich musste kichern.
"Das Kichern ist neu", wunderte sich Foreman.
Ich kicherte wieder und versuchte, die Decke zu fixieren.
"Schließen Sie die Augen", schlug Foreman vor.
"Wieschoh?"
"Weil sie sich eh gleich von selber schließen werden...."
Meine Augenlider flatterten und schlossen sich tatsächlich. Ich fühlte mich mit einem Mal wieder sehr anhänglich und kuschelbedürftig und wusste gar nicht mehr so recht, wo ich war und wer noch da war.
"Dschimm?", fragte ich und versuchte, mich umzusehen. Ich kuschelte mich an die Person neben mir.
"Foreman! Hilf mir!", hörte ich von ganz weit weg Chase Stimme.
"Dschaiiiims?" nuschelte ich und kuschelte mich fester an mein Gegenüber.
"House...", hörte ich Chase sagen und bemerkte am Rande, wie jemand meine Hand von seinem Bauch schob.
Ich seufzte. "Dschimm bischu da? Chmöchte guschln..."
"Oh Gott...wie süß...", seufzte jemand, der wie Foreman klang.
Wieder robbte ich an die Person neben mir. "Guschln...."
"House...nehmen Sie Ihre Hand da raus!"
"Mh?", gab ich bloss von mir und legte meinen Kopf in James Schoß (dachte ich wenigstens).
"Chliebe dich Dschimm...", schnurrte ich vor mich hin und fühlte mich wie in einem riesigen Wattebausch.
"Hören Sie, House...ich rufe Dr. Wilson jetzt an und sage ihm, er soll sofort herkommen, okay?", sagte die Stimme, die klang wie Foreman.
Ich grinste selig. "Mhmmmm....Dschäiiims?"
Derjenige, an den ich mich schmiegte versuchte anscheinend, von mir wegzurutschen.
"Du bisch nich Dschimm", murmelte ich und zog ein Kissen an mich um es zu herzen.
"Nein, ich bin nicht Dr. Wilson!", sagte jemand, der nach Chase klang.
In meinem Kopf drehte sich alles und ich knutschte heftig das Kissen.
"Auch nich Dschimm...."
Eine Hand legte sich auf meine Schulter und die Foreman-Stimme sagte "Hören Sie mich, House? James ist gleich hier....und er lässt ausrichten, dass er Sie liebt."
Ich grinste noch seliger.
"Ganz ganz doll", fügte Foreman hinzu und ich meinte bloß "Guuuuschln...."
Das Wattegefühl wurde stärker und ich denke, ich schlief ein.

Irgendwann wurde ich von einem sanften "Greg?" geweckt. Ich blinzelte durch halbgeschlossene Augenlider und sah in James' Gesicht.
"Da bischu ja endlich..."
"Ja, da bin ich", meinte er lächelnd und strich mir über die Stirn.
"Chab Durs...", meldete ich mich und bekam noch eine Tasse Tee gereicht.
Und schon konnte ich nur noch einmal "Guschln" sagen und war schon wieder eingeschlafen.

Rohypnol®

Oder Gamma-Hydroxybuttersäure.
Oder γ-Butyrolacton.

Irgendsowas muss es sein, das in Foremans "Träum süß"-Tee steckt, den er Chase immer zur Entspannung verabreicht.
Auf gar keinen Fall war das Lavendeltee.
Lavendel riecht und Lavendel schmeckt. Und Lavendel hat Farbe! Das hätte mich zu allererst stutzig machen sollen. Ich habe das Zeug zwar in einer schwarzen Tasse gereicht bekommen, aber mittlerweile bin ich mir fast sicher, dass es ganz einfach nur durchsichtig war.

Aber beginnen wir doch am Anfang. Wenn ich vorher nicht jemanden umgebracht habe. Oder schreiend am Boden liege und meinen Kopf rhythmisch auf die Fliesen schlage.
Foreman und Chase haben mich aus der Notaufnahme herausgezerrt vor ein paar Stunden, weil sie der Meinung waren, dass ich den hiesigen Ärzten in "meinem Zustand" nicht ins Handwerk pfuschen sollte. Wenn ich unbeobachtet bin, haue ich ab in den Behandlungsraum. Wenn ich unbeobachtet bin.
Chase sitzt neben mir und drückt mir die Schulter, Foreman läuft vor uns auf und ab und hat mir zu allem Überfluß alles abgenommen, mit dem ich Menschen verletzten könnte. Er hat meinen Stock, meinen Gürtel, meinen Kugelschreiber und meinen Zigarrenanzünder. Ab und an schaut er mich an und sagt "Schreiben Sie. Das hilft."

Aber beginnen wir doch am Anfang.
Habe ich das nicht eben schonmal geschrieben?
Ich weiss es nicht mehr...

Also, James war unterwegs, Cameron zum Flughafen bringen gestern. Ich war mit Foreman in der Küche, kochte Kaffee und unterhielt mich mit ihm.
Der Kaffee war grade durch, ich schenkte uns ein, machte ein paar fiese Bemerkungen über pinke Hasenwaschhandschuhe und γ-Butyrolacton und schaute beim Kaffeenippen nach draußen.
Lange währte das Geplänkel nicht, denn bald schon versteifte ich mich, erstarrte und stammelte bloß noch "D....d....d..."
"Was ist?", fragte Foreman argwöhnisch.
"D....d...d....DAAAAA!"
Foreman sah hinaus und sah, was ich sah.
"Oh mein Gott! Ist das Allenby?"
Ich ließ die Tasse fallen, brüllte "HILFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" und kroch unter den Küchentisch.
"Keine Panik", versuchte Foreman mich zu beruhigen, aber ich bemerkte, dass sämtliche Mord- und Verschwörungsgedanken fortgewischt waren und die nackte Angst bei mir regierte.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH", brüllte ich unter dem Tisch weiter und versuchte, mich so klein wie möglich zu machen.
"Ich geh raus zu ihm", meinte Foreman entschlossen.
"NEIN! Neinneinneinneinneinnein....Dann weiß er, dass er hier richtig ist!"
"Das weiß er nach Ihrem Geschrei ohnehin!", entgegnete Foreman mir trocken und beschwichtigte mich nochmal, ich solle nicht in Panik ausbrechen.
"W...was will der hier?!", brachte ich hervor und Foreman rieb sich die Hände.
"Na was wohl? Ärger!"
Durch mein Geschrei angelockt kam Chase in die Küche und fragte, was denn los sei. Er sah mich unter dem Tisch nicht und war mit Sicherheit fast zu Tode erschrocken, als ich mich von dort aus plötzlich an sein Bein klammerte und weiter jammerte und brüllte.
Er war selber ganz bleich und meinte bloß "House....können Sie sich ein Stück weiter unten in mein Bein krallen?"
Ich krallte noch fester und drückte hektisch daran herum, was ihm etwas wie "Argh" oder "Hngh" entfahren ließ.
"HOUSE! Bitte!"
Ich klammerte mich weiterhin fest und beachtete seine Einwände nicht, auch nicht das "Es wird etwas gefühlsintensiv".

(Ich mache fürs erste Schluss....Foreman geht Kaffee holen und ich versuche die Chance zu nutzen, in den Behandlungsraum zu entwischen...Ob mit oder ohne Stock ist mir jetzt ziemlich egal. Ich bin sicher, ich kann sogar rennen jetzt.)

Romantik pur

...haben wir hier in Canada.
HAHA, dass ich nicht lache!
Das Romantischste hier ist Bolero von Ravel, das ich grade höre.
Dabei fing es so schön an hier...
Und hörte so schnell auf.

Den Anfang bildete Cameron, die hier auf der Matte stand, als wir Freitagabend grade im Yacuzzi entspannten. Es war leider nicht Puh, der Bär beim Honigverkauf, den hätten wir wegschicken können. Und ich weiß bis heute nicht, was sie hergetrieben und von ihrem Kongreß ferngehalten hat. Sicher hat sie von Chase und Foreman erfahren, dass Allenby auf dem Weg hierher war.

Chase und Foreman widerum standen Samstagfrüh um vier vor der Tür...aber das kann man bei Chase nachlesen.
Und ich? Ich stehe so dicht vor einem Kuschelanfall! James und ich schleichen umeinander herum und wissen nicht genau, wie wir vor den anderen miteinander umgehen sollen.
Diese Nacht hat er mir sogar den Mund zugehalten!
Dabei kann sich kein Mensch vorstellen, auf welche Idee er gekommen ist. Er saß auf mir! Und da soll ich dann leise sein...
Mir wird noch immer ganz anders, wenn ich daran denke. Und wie er dabei aussah... Mein Gott.
Ich bin mir sicher, Chase hat mich/uns gehört, aber er lässt sich nichts anmerken.
Dass er diese Nacht in seinem Zimmer leise vor sich hinweinte, hatte sicher andere Gründe. Er ist wirklich etwas depressiv, denke ich.

Heute bekam ich auch eine Kostprobe von dem Tee, den Foreman ihm immer kocht...Ich sage nur Wattebauschkopf und Kuschelbedürfnis.
Nunja....ich schreibe morgen ausführlich dazu. Ab gleich sind wir nämlich für den Rest unseres langen Wochenendes alleine hier!

Stress mit James...

...hatte ich gestern, wie bereits erwähnt.
Er wollte mich aufrütteln und aus meiner depressiven Lethargie reissen.
Wir haben uns noch viel mehr an den Kopf geworfen, als ich geschrieben habe, aber ich kann mich auch nicht mehr so unbedingt gut an alles erinnern.
Ich weiß bloß noch, dass ich mich teilweise in mein Büro zurückversetzt fühlte, ihn anbrüllte, er solle Leine ziehen und ihn mit meinem Stock geschlagen habe...
Das tut mir wirklich Leid, James, und ich hoffe, du bist nicht irgendwie böse deshalb.
Und ich bin froh, dass du es sogar geschafft hast, mich aus dem Loch zu holen.

Als er da stand, seine gepackte Tasche neben sich und entschlossen, in irgendein Hotel zu gehen, tat sich fast der Boden unter mir auf.
"Bravo!", dachte ich. "Du hast es wieder mal geschafft! Jetzt hast du sogar James von dir weggestoßen."
Nachdem ich meine Lethargie abgeschüttelt hatte, hängte ich mich wie beschrieben an ihn dran und bettelte ihn förmlich an zu bleiben. Das war sogar noch verstörender als Allenbys Attacke - inzwischen hatte ich einfach eine Stinkwut auf ihn und schmiedete diverse Rachepläne (die ich zum Teil Cameron im Messenger mitgeteilt habe und die sie alle als inakzeptabel zurückwies).
James derweil war wohl auch nicht ganz bei sich und meinte ständig, er habe alles kaputt gemacht und er könne verstehen, wenn ich ihn nicht mehr hier haben wolle.
"Hör auf mit dem Blödsinn!", meinte ich irgendwann und trat einen Schritt zurück.
Er schaute mich verdutzt an. "Was?!"
"Das ist doch idiotisch! Ich will nicht, dass du gehst!"
"Es tut mir so leid", begann er wieder. "Du warst so in dich zurückgezogen und gar nicht mehr du selbst....Ich wollte dir bloß helfen...."
Ich ließ die Arme fallen. "Oh, entschuldige bitte, dass ich nach einem solchen Übergriff etwas verstört und aufgelöst bin! Verzeihung!"
Damit setzte ich mich aufs Sofa und schüttelte den Kopf. "Arschloch!"
James stutzte. "Wie?"
"Arschloch!"
Er schnappte sich seine Tasche und ging in Richtung Tür.
"Bleib!"
Er kam zurück und ließ die Tasche sinken. "Ich bin so ein Volltrottel..."
Ich betrachtete ihn. "Da ist was dran."
Plötzlich grinste er. "Willkommen zurück, Dr.House!"
Ich nickte ihm zu. "Dr. Wilson. Habe ich in der Zeit, in der ich weg war irgendwas verpaßt?"
Was er antwortete, werde ich lieber nicht schreiben...jedenfalls zeigte ich ihm noch recht deutlich, dass ich mich...ähm...erholt hatte.

Wie erwähnt waren Chase und Cameron beide noch kurz da (getrennt) und der Abend wurde von James' Einzug und diversen Duos auf Klavier und Gitarre bestimmt.
Beim Kisten auspacken fanden wir auf seiner Digitalkamera noch Fotos:

Meine Eltern:


Ja, ich kann auch gut gelaunt sein - besonders, wenn jemand mit seiner Diagnose falsch liegt:


Irgendwo im PPTH (ja, ich hab auch Cordhosen):

Erholung und Psychospielchen

James hat ja schon mitgeteilt, was gestern passiert ist...
Oh mein Gott, ich fühlte mich so schrecklich!
James hatte meinen Stock weggenommen und war rausgestürzt - weshalb, haben Sie ja sicher schon gelesen.
Ich habe mich in der Zwischenzeit auf dem Sofa zusammengerollt und Albträume gehabt.

James hat sich wirklich rührend um mich gekümmert und gestern Abend erfuhren wir noch von Foreman, dass es Chase wohl auch überhaupt nicht gut ging. Was auch immer ihm noch widerfahren war (denn ich kann kaum glauben, dass nur mein Erlebnis bei ihm dieses Trauma verursacht hat - ihm ist ja selber nichts geschehen), es hat verursacht, dass er sich für einige Stunden heulend auf sein Bett warf und Where the wild roses grow hörte. Foreman hat sich noch um ihn gekümmert - die beiden sind heute auch freigestellt und Cameron ist ganz alleine mit den beiden...Schwachköpfen.

Ich gebe es ungern zu, aber ich habe ziemlich viel rumgeweint und war auch ziemlich in mich gekehrt. Wahrscheinlich habe ich James' Geduld auf eine harte Probe gestellt und irgendwann blaffte er mich an, ich solle endlich wütend werden und mich nicht mehr hinter meinen Tränen verstecken.
"Wo ist der alte Gregory? Wo ist dein Sarkasmus? Na los, werd endlich wütend auf ihn!"
Ich war ziemlich geschockt und starrte ihn erstmal nur an. "Ich BIN wütend!"
James hob die Hände. "Ach ja? Dann REDE doch! Erzähl, was dir passiert ist!"
"Das hab ich doch!"
"Du hast dich total in dir eingeigelt! Er hat dich GEKÜSST! Er hat dich ANGEFASST!"
Ich trat einen Schritt zurück. "Hör auf damit. Ich will nicht daran denken...."
"Er hatte seine Hand in deiner Hose!"
"HÖR AUF!"
"Einen Teufel werd ich! Komm raus, Dr.House, ich weiss, du bist da! Bist du endlich sauer?"
"Natürlich bin ich sauer!"
Er ließ nicht locker, aber ich wollte nicht darüber reden geschweige denn daran denken. Also schnappte ich mir meine Jacke und humpelte nach draußen.
James kam hinter mir her.
"Jaaaaaa...im Weglaufen bist du ganz groß...Das funktioniert jetzt aber nicht."
Ich antwortete nicht und beschleunigte meinen Schritt, aber er hielt natürlich mit.
"Du kannst nicht vor allem weglaufen, Greg!"
Ich ging um die Ecke und versteckte mich in einer Seitenstraße, aber er sah mich natürlich, kam auf mich zu und preßte mich gegen die Wand.
"Gregory! Ich liebe dich! Vergiß ihn einfach!", äffte er mit verstellter Stimme Allenby nach.
ich versuchte, ihn von mir zu stoßen.
"Na los! Schubs ihn weg!", rief James und legte seine Hand in meinen Schritt.
"HÖR AUF DAMIT!", brüllte ich ihn an.
"Du stellst dich dem jetzt!"
Ich kickte meinen Stock gegen sein Knie und er ließ kurz von mir ab nur um mich dann noch fester an die Wand zu drücken und zu bedrängen. Mein Kopf pochte, mein Herz raste und Punkte tanzten in meinem Blickfeld. In meiner Panik (ich fühlte mich wieder we in meinem Büro mit Allenby) und Hilflosigkeit drückte ich ihm meinen Stock in den Magen und machte die Mücke.
Im Augenwinkel sah ich noch, wie Jim zusammenknickte und im Vorgarten des Hauses landete, an dem wir standen. Vollkommen verstört humpelte ich so schnell ich konnte nach Hause und konnte nicht nachdenken, sonst hätte ich James von der kalten Erde hochgeholfen.

Vor der Haustür angelangt musste ich feststellen, dass James den Hausschlüssel hatte und setzte mich auf die Treppe. Wütend starrte ich die Stufen an und stampfte mit dem Stock auf. Schließlich sah ich auf und sah James die Straße entlangkommen. Er stand vor mir und wir starrten uns an.
"Schließt du bitte auf? Mir wird kalt", bat ich schließlich.
Wortlos schloss er auf und lief schnurstracks ins Schlafzimmer. Ich ließ mich aufs Sofa fallen und goß mir einen weiteren Kaffee ein. James murmelte etwas wie "Idiot!" und ich rief rüber "Ja...bin ich!" Was trieb er da bloß?
Irgendwann trat er ins Wohnzimmer - eine gepackte Tasche in der Hand.
Ich starrte zu ihm rüber. "Was hast du vor?"
Er zuckte die Achseln. "Wonach sieht es denn aus?"
"Nach einer idiotischen Handlung!"
Er sah zu Boden. "Ich habe alles kaputt gemacht..."
"Du hast nichts kaputt gemacht..."
Mir wurde kalt, als mir klar wurde, was er vorhatte.
Ich hängte mich an ihn, krallte meine Finger in sein Hemd und schüttelte unentwegt den Kopf.
"Neinneinneinneinnein...Du gehst nicht....du wirst mich nicht verlassen!"

(Ich muss Schluss machen - Chase ist vorbeigekommen. Ich schreibe spätestens morgen weiter und kann Sie schonmal beruhigen. Es ist alles in Ordnung bei uns.)

Nervenbündel

Listening to: The Piano Soundtrack
Weather: I don't care
Mood: close to a nervous breakdown

Habe ich nicht gestern noch geschrieben, dass das PPTH ein Irrenhaus ist?
Da wusste ich noch nicht, wie Recht ich damit habe.
GOTT! Ich weiß nicht, wohin mit mir und könnte von einer Minute zur anderen in irres Gelächter ausbrechen oder aber mich in eine Decke einwickeln und abgedreht vor und zurück schaukeln.
Aber ich habe die Variante gewählt aufzustehen, einen starken Kaffee zu kochen und aus dem Fenster zu starren.
James schläft noch - wir sind beide bis Dienstag ausschließlich vom Dienst freigestellt - und ich werde gleich auch wieder zu ihm kriechen. Und dann gibt es "Seidenraupe", aber mit James in der Decke eingerollt...

Wieso es mir so geht?
Das ist ziemlich schwierig niederzuschreiben...
Ich ging also gestern umsonst zum Kllinikdienst, weil Chase vergessen hatte, mir Bescheid zu geben. Cuddy hielt mich auf dem Weg auf und berichtete mir von James' Migräne und dass ich meinen Klinikdienst nächste Woche nachholen könne. (Sie ist wirklich emotional immer sehr eingebunden, oder? Jeder andere Chef hätte mich den Klinikdienst machen lassen.)
Ich also zurück in mein Büro, um meine Sachen zu holen.

Chase verschwand grade im Nebenraum und wir grüßen uns kurz.
Ich war grade im Begriff, meine Tasche zu nehmen, als jemand ohne anzuklopfen eintrat. Ich drehte mich um und sah mich Allenby gegenüber.
"Was gibts?", fragte ich mit hochgezogener Braue.
"Ich hab dein Blog gelesen!", platzte er heraus.
"So....na und? Das haben meine Kollegen auch."
"Nur die letzten Einträge...aber was James da mit dir macht..."
Jetzt wurde es unerfreulich.
"Was!" gab ich bloß genervt zurück und er brach in lautes Schluchzen aus.
"Gregory!", heulte er auf und rauschte auf mich zu. "Ich liebe dich! Vergiß ihn einfach!"
Damit packte er mich am Jackenaufschlag, schüttelte mich kurz und zog mich plötzlich zu sich heran, um mir wie ein Irrer einen Kuss aufzudrücken.
"Mpf!", konnte ich bloß von mir geben und versuchte, ihn wegzustoßen, aber er hatte Bärenkräfte entwickelt. Er brabbelte halb flüsternd alles mögliche vor sich hin und das widerlichste davon war, dass er irgendwelche Creme aus mir heraussaugen wollte. Ich könnte mich jetzt noch übergeben, wenn ich daran denke.
"Du bist ja wahnsinnig!", stieß ich hervor und versuchte ihn abzuschütteln.
Plötzlich fingerte er an meinem Gürtel herum und drängelte mich zu meinem Sofa.
"HEY!", brüllte ich und hatte schon seine Hand in der Hose, die ihren Weg in meine Shorts fand. Widerwärtig und schrecklich. Mir ging es noch nie so elend und ich finde keine Worte dafür. Er drückte überall dort herum, wo er absolut nichts zu suchen hatte und wollte mich dazu bringen, mich aufs Sofa zu legen.
Da er dabei etwas strauchelte, kam endlich meine Gelegenheit und ich ließ ihm den Stock auf den Kopf sausen. Seine Schläfe platzte auf und plötzlich war Cuddy da, die seine Hand aus meiner Hose rupfte, ihn am Kragen packte und herauszerrte - wahrscheinlich in ihr Büro.
In der Tür stand ein sehr blasser Chase und sah mich an.
"Danke", konnte ich nur flüstern, denn ich denke, dass er den Tumult gehört hatte und Cuddy rief. Ich muss ihn unbedingt demnächst mal auf einen Drink einladen.

Mechanisch schloß ich meine Hose, nahm meine Tasche und fuhr irgendwie nach Hause, wo James mich mit einer sehr schönen Überraschung erwartete.
Ich konnte es ihm einfach noch nicht sagen und riss mich zusammen. Aber ich denke, er merkte schon, dass irgendwas komisch war.

Meine Hände zittern zu sehr, ich lege mich jetzt wieder hin und berichte später weiter.

Halloween ist vorbei

Und die Normalität hat wieder Einzug gehalten im PPTH. Falls man irgendwas normal nennen kann in diesem Irrenhaus.

Ich sprang mit James kurz bei Starbucks rein und holte mir einen Cortado, dann checkten wir an der Rezeption ein, wo mir eine verstörte und etwas ängstlich aussehende Debbie entgegenblickte.
"Guten Morgen, Dr. House, Dr. Wilson..."
"Guten Morgen!", meinte James mit einem beruhigenden Lächeln und ich nickte bloß. Wir nahmen unsere Akten entgegen, trugen uns ein und wollten uns auf den Weg in unsere Büros machen, als ich bemerkte, wie Debbie uns ansah.
"Du meine Güte...dass mir das jetzt erst auffällt...aber ich sehe Sie beide so selten zusammen..."
Ich zog eine Braue hoch und sah sie an als sei sie debil.
James blickte sie fragend an. "Was meinen Sie?"
Sie räusperte sich unbehaglich. "Ich weiß ja nicht, ob nur ich das sehe oder auch ein Blinder...Aber...Sie beiden sind doch zusammen, oder?"
Ich zog beide Brauen hoch und schaute zu James. Der nickte ganz ruhig und lächelte Debbie zu. "Ja, sind wir."
Ich war baff, dass er das so ruhig sagte und wäre ihm gerne um den Hals gefallen.
Debbie nickte auch nur und wandte sich an mich. "Dann kann ich auch etwas besser verstehen, was gestern mit Ihnen los war..."
"Ähm", begann ich.
"Schon gut", meinte sie nur und wir gingen in unsere Büros.

Ich öffnete meine Tür und wandte mich noch einmal an James. "Danke..."
Erstaunt sah er mich an. "Wofür?"
"Dass du es einfach so gesagt hast."
Er lächelte mich an und zog mich zu sich. "Ich wünsche dir einen schönen Tag....", und küsste mich.
Einige Köpfe drehten sich verdutzt nach uns um und ich fühlte mich einfach nur gut.

Im Büro warteten schon die Entchen wegen des Falls von gestern. Sie starrten mich zwar an, sagten aber außer "Guten Morgen" nichts.
Ich schickte Granger dann ein paar Schnelltests machen, die jedoch je nach Lebensalter bis zu 20 % falsch positive und 30 % falsch negative Resultate liefern.
Cameron kümmerte sich um den Nachweis von IgG-Antikörpern gegen das nukleäre Antigen von EBV (EBNA-1-IgG), der leider icht eindeutig war. Also waren weitere Tests nötig.
"Foreman? Testen Sie das IgG gegen das virale Capsid-Antigen (VCA-IgG). Die anderen kümmern sich um Immunoblot und eine Aviditätstestung..."
Starren.
"Husch husch!"


Es stellte sich tatsächlich als Epstein-Barr heraus.
Momentan langweile ich mich hier im Büro und überlege, ob ich mich nach Hause schleichen soll, wo James schon auf mich wartet. Eventuell gehen wir heute essen...Oder wiederholen des gestrigen Abend.

Die schönen Seiten des diesjährigen Halloweens

Listening to: New World - Antonín Dvořák
Weather at Plainsboro: Clear and calm
Mood: Cuddly

Ja, meine Stimmung ist kuschlig, was für die meisten Leser sicherlich verstörend sein wird. Es ist 6:20 AM hier in Plainsboro und ich sitze mit einer Tasse Kaffee am Laptop. James schläft noch und ich werde ihn erst später wecken - wenn ich Frühstück gemacht habe. Am liebsten würde ich heute zu Hause bleiben und mich einfach wieder ins Bett schnuffeln, aber James hat gestern Abend bereits angekündigt, dass sein Magen wieder in Ordnung ist und er arbeiten wird heute.
Und sollte sich Debbie auch bloß in seine Nähe wagen, wird sie Bekanntschaft mit meinem Stock machen!

Noch im Büro bestellte ich gestern den Tisch für den Abend ab und wandte mich dann einem neuen Fall zu, einer infektiösen Mononukleose. Langweilig eigentlich und nichts Besonderes, aber Cameron fand bei einigen Tests heraus, dass es doch zu Komplikationen kam - und zwar der geballten Ladung: Burkitt-Lymphom, nasopharyngeale Karzinome und seltene B-Lymphome. Ich tippe also auf Eppstein-Barr, aber das wird der heutige Tag noch bringen.

Übrigens, werte Kollegen, warte ich immer noch auf die Ergebnisse der Hausdurchsuchung bei Mr. Es-ist-nicht-Lupus!!! Wäre ja mal ganz interessant zu wissen, ob er eine Allergie hat und wenn ja, wogegen und wie wir ihn weiterhin behandeln, hm? (Ja, ich weiß dass dieses Verhalten jetzt meiner oben konstatierten Stimmung widerspricht...)
Und Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaase...ich habe hier ein Bild von Ihnen in Ihrer Schuluniform...zwar eher im Hintergrund und nicht ganz "scharf", aber dennoch gut zu erkennen. Und ich werde es tatsächlich hier und am schwarzen Brett des PPTH veröffentlichen, wenn Sie mir nicht offenbaren, was das "s..." zu sagen hatte... Doch, natürlich lächele ich grade liebenswürdig. Sie können es mir ja ins Ohr flüstern, wenn es kein anderer hören soll oder mailen...

Auf der Suche habe ich auch ein Foto von einer Dame gefunden, die genau aussieht wie Cameron. Aber sind sie das wohl wirklich? Falls ja, haben Sie mal bei einem Miss-Wet-T-Shirt-Wettbewerb mitgemacht...

(Ich hole mir grade einen weiteren Kaffee...)

So...wo war ich?
Ach ja...der Rest von Halloween.
Der war sehr...angenehm.
James war ziemlich angeschlagen und ich nahm ihm erstmal seine Jacke ab und reichte ihm sein Pyjama. Während er sich umzog, bereitete ich ihm schonmal eine Wärmflasche vor, schob ihn dann aufs Sofa, legte ihm die Wärmflasche auf den Bauch und deckte ihn zu. James schlief für ein Weilchen ein - ich drückte ihm einen Kuss auf die Schläfe und machte ihm eine Kanne Kamillentee.
Ich hatte mir grade mein Comicbuch geschnappt, als es an der Tür klingelte.
Fluchend humpelte ich in den Flur und schaute durch den Spion: Julie.
"Mist", murmelte ich und öffnete die Tür.
"Hallo, Julie!"
Sie schaute mich von oben bis unten an. "Hallo, Gregory. Dir scheint es gut zu gehen..."
"So?"
"Ja, du siehst fast irgendwie zufrieden aus."
"Was gibts?"
Sie reichte mir einen kleinen Stapel Post. "Die ist für James angekommen. Vielleicht sollte er sich mal ummelden."
Ich nahm seine Post entgegen. "Ja, vielleicht macht er das diese Woche."
"Hat er denn eine Wohnung gefunden?"
"Ja", entgegnete ich bloß und schloß die Tür vor ihrem verdutzten Gesicht.

Vom Sofa aus blinzelte mir James entgegen. "Wer war das?"
"Julie..."
Er seufzte. "Was wollte sie?"
Ich winkte ihm mit der Post. "Das hier. Aber du kannst es morgen durchsehen, ist ohnehin fast bloß Werbung."
Er nickte und lehnte sich wieder zurück. "Du hast mir ja Tee gemacht", meinte er dann mit einem Lächeln.
Ich nickte. "Aber freu dich nicht zu früh. Es ist Kamille mit Fenchel gemischt."
Er grinste kurz. "Ob du's glaubst oder nicht - ich mag sowas."
Ich beugte mich vor und küsste ihn auf die Stirn. Das Ziehen in meiner Brust, wenn ich ihnansah, tat regelrecht weh und ich fühlte mich schon wieder so verdammt anhäglich.
"Ich glaube, ich stelle mal die Klingel ab", murmelte ich dann. "Sonst bimmeln hier unentwegt die Trick-or-Treaters..."
"Das trauen sie sich bei dir eh nicht", kam es vom Sofa, aber ich war schon auf dem Weg nach vorne. Sicher ist sicher.

James hatte sich in seine Decke gewickelt und ein Halloween-Special von X-Factor angeschaltet, während ich mich auf der anderen Sofahälfte niederließ und mein Comicbuch las. Es war wirklich gut: Maus von Art Spiegelman.
So saßen wir einträchtig bei Kerzenschein auf dem Sofa und ich dachte mir, dass Halloween doch nicht so schlecht ist. Ab und an beugte ich mich vor, um James kurz zu streicheln, ihm einen Kuss aufzudrücken oder ihn mit neuem Tee zu versorgen.

Als ich ausgelesen hatte, reckte ich mich kurz und stand auf. "Ich zieh mir grad mein Pyjama an", kündigte ich an und war schon im Begriff, ins Schlafzimmer zu humpeln.
"Ich hätte auch nichts dagegen, wenn du dich in deiner Shorts zu mir setzt", kam es vom Sofa her.
Ich wandte mich zu ihm um. "Dann musst du mich aber mit unter deine Decke lassen, sonst wird es mir zu kalt..."
James lächelte und lüpfte die Decke. "Komm her..."
Keine fünf Minuten später saß ich eng an ihn gekuschelt mit unter der Decke, seinen Arm um mich und mit einem Herzpuckern, das ich schlecht beschreiben kann. Ich hätte in ihn hineinkriechen können. Er war so warm und kuschlig, roch so gut und sah einfach unbeschreiblich aus. Ich versuchte, noch ein Stück näher an ihn heranzurutschen und erntete dafür ein Lächeln und einen Kuss.
Wir sahen uns dann Halloween an, was James zum Teil sehr beunruhigte. Das widerum brachte mein Herz erneut zum Ziehen und irgendwann murmelte ich ihm zu "Ich warne dich...ich stehe dicht vor einem Anfall. Einem Kuschelanfall..."
James küsste mich sanft und lächelte mir zu. "Keine Sorge, ich bin Arzt, ich kann dir helfen."
Mein Kuschelanfall kam fast im gleichen Augenblick und nach einer Weile legte ich mich auf dem Sofa zurück und zog James mit mir herunter. Der Film war vollkommen vergessen und meldete sich bloß ab und an mit der typischen Halloween-Melodie.
Der Druck an meinem Bein zeigte mir, dass James längst nicht mehr bloßes Kuscheln im Sinn hatte - mir ging es nicht anders und ich fingerte an seiner Microfasershorts herum.

Jedenfalls stellten wir fest, das ...äh...gewisse Dinge auch auf der Couch ganz gut...gehen. Von Angesicht zu Angesicht und ohne die Tube, die ich in der Apotheke habe mitgehen lassen...

Der Rest des Abends wechselte zwischen extrem kuschlig und erneutem Sex, wenn ich das so deutlich hier schreiben darf... (Entschuldige, James.)
Und es war ein verdammt gutes Halloween.

Jetzt werde ich mal Frühstück vorbereiten und meinen Verl... Schatz wecken.